Tuesday, May 26, 2009

FATTY AT THE FAT

FATTY at the FAT by Fat Bastard



FATTY at the FAT

The outlook isn't brilliant for Americans today;
Three quarters are fat or obese I am sad to say,
To doctors and weight loss gurus it's a money making game
All they offer fat folks is more and more of the silly same

A waddling herd goes to McDonalds. The rest
Cling to that hope which springs eternal in a Kentucky Fried Chicken breast;
They thought, "If only miracle could get their metabolisms out of whack
They'd spend lots of money now, on an Atkins style quack."

http://frugalyankee.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/greed_trust2.jpg

But Atkins died a big fat pig, a charlatan and fake,
And Jenny Craig says it OK to eat a lot of cake;

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/612955/80598576.jpg
So upon that stricken multitude of lemmings oh so fat;
Comes Dr Phil without a pill but a major bastard rat.


Though Dr Phil paid huge fines to the FTC, his books
Get published by Slimon and Shyster another bunch of crooks.
And when the lemmings read his books they continue to get fat,
I bet they need another book. Do you think it might be that?

400,000 Americans this year will see an early grave
Simply because when it comes to food they choose not to behave
They waddle to the doctor to get their insulin,
Fatty pays a fortune and big pharma cashes in.
http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2008/0806/doctor_money_0604.jpg


There is this sleaze in doctor's manner because he knows his place;
Is to bilk the patient's HMO and put a smile on his face.
Responding to the jeers, he says, "Your reaction is quite odd.
M. D. stands for Me Deity. In other words, I'm God."
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/3200000/House-God-doesn-t-limp-house-md-3245509-800-300.gif

Now on insulin and statin drugs Fatty enjoys all food.
But don't be late with his dinner plate it may effect his mood.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a388/commonwombat/BakerAngryFace.jpg
He knows now that he's not too fat he's happy to report,
He tells the world he can't wipe his butt cause his arms are just to short.

Walking to the parking lot he'll wheeze and gasp for air,
Knowing that the paramedics can quickly be right there.
http://www.toronto.ca/images/ambulance2.jpg
Close by a Gold's Gym beckons to the healthy and the fit
"That ain't my style," said Fatty, "I'd rather eat and sit.

From the realm of reality came a sane and sober voice,
That said that being fat and sick and gluttonous really was a choice.
We are not made fat by our genes or the stress that comes with life
And it's OK to complain about your fat and lazy wife.

Perhaps this trend towards obesity could be a moral failing;
A symptom of a society that is weak and sick and ailing
Ask A fatty why he's fat and he will tell a lie.
Ask him if he eats too much, it's something he'll deny.

"Fraud!" cried the maddened voice, and echo answered "Fraud!"
But one scornful look from a Fatty and the audience was awed.

http://i44.tinypic.com/w7zptj.jpg
"How dare anyone imply it is my fault", an angry Fatty roared!
"I eat because I'm hungry and I eat because I'm bored".

A sneer has fled from Fatty's lip, the teeth are clenched in hate;
He pounds with cruel violence his fork upon the dinner plate.
And now the waiter holds the tray and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Fatty's mighty blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout;
But there is no joy in Fatland — Mighty Fatty's heart crapped out.
http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f10/22099d1221758681-dead-fat-man-deadfatty.jpg

7 comments:

Big Fat Heretic said...

Again, I get to be the first fat little piggy to the trough by posting the first comment on a new topic.

OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!

But as I had said in a previous post in another topic, and again I must reiterate . . .

In the poem it says . . .

"He knows now that he's not too fat he's happy to report,
He tells the world he can't wipe his butt cause his arms are just too short."

Well actually, I don't say I can't wipe my butt because my arms are too short.

I'm proud say I can't wipe my butt because I have such a great big fat ass that I can't reach around back there, so I have to use a pair of tongs as a toilet paper holder. I love it!

So, it's not because of my arms being too short, but rather, my body being too big around.

Actually, for us happy greedy gluttons, there is no such thing as being too fat or being too big around. I say, The fatter the better as far as I'm concerned.

So, even if I can't reach around my great big body to wipe my own big fat ass, to me, that's still not too fat. In fact, it's not fat enough to satisfy me! I want more!

And again I must respond to the following . . .

"Ask A fatty why he's fat and he will tell a lie.
Ask him if he eats too much it's something he'll deny."

Wrong again!

I won't lie. First of all, there is no such thing as eating too much. If you're a happy glutton like me, the more food the better! So, I'm telling the truth. I eat as much as I want because I'm a greedy happy glutton. If I could eat a million calories every day, it would still be not too much. It will never be enough. So, I stuff myself because I'm a greedy fat pig!

And finally, again I must respond to the following . . .

"How dare anyone imply it is my fault", an angry Fatty roared!
"I eat because I'm hungry and I eat because I'm bored".

Well, I do feel hungry all the time, but that is because my stomach is stretched out that it takes more food to fill it up. Also, I eat, not because I'm sad, or angry, or bored. I eat because I love to eat, and when I'm in a happy mood, I eat even more!

So, I eat and eat and eat because I'm a greedy, lazy, obese little glutton who just loves to eat, and I love growing fatter and fatter.

Because the fatter I get, the bigger I become. I love being a great big fat person. I want to get really huge!

The fatter I get, the happier I am.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Proud FA.

You said . . .

"You are so right about butts being too big too reach around and wipe. I recall some of the NAAFA f girls saying they could not reach "back there" because they were not flexible enough. What happens is they wipe from the front and reach between their legs."

==========

Well, my lower belly is so big that I can't reach around over under my belly. I can't even reach around my belly to jack-off!

And again, it's not because my arms are too short. It because I have such a big round belly.

So, I have to use a pair of tongs as a toilet paper holder and reach around behind me to wipe my own butt.

Eventually I'm going to need to have a longer pair of tongs made special for me. It work very well.

I also shower every morning, and the only skin fold I have is under my lower belly where it hangs down over my shrunken penis.

But since I wash every day, I never have any problems with skin rashes. but I must wash down there every day.

When you are really obese, you do need to pay a lot more attention to your personal hygiene. It comes with the territory.

I may be a lazy, obese little glutton, but I'm not a slob.

I'm always neatly dressed in clean clothes when I go out, so I never get any complaints from people sitting next to me on the bus.

We obese gluttons have to have some pride.

Therefore I am a glutton but I'm no a slob.

Anonymous said...

I imagine Balldez takes part in the upkeep of this blarg. I'd be surprised if he didn't.

Continue to starve yourselves, scrawnies.

Proud FA said...

Teddy, because SSBBW's have more curves they have more folds and often the can't really reach all the places where the yeast beast lives and thrives. Even though fat guys morph into unmanly blobs of blubber they rarely develop all the unreachable yeasty playgrounds that your average SSBBWs do. The point is Teddy it is easier for super morbidly obese men to be hygienic. A lot of the SSBBW's are a bit stinky because it is difficult for them to perform basic hygiene but they do wear lots of perfume. Fat girls love Avon.

The hygiene issues is one reason why I installed a super sized hot tub in my private pig pen. There really is no tactful way to tell a BBW that she has a smell to her so I put them in the hot tub and that does the trick.

We have another "anonymous" hater I see. It must be another jealous fat girls from the old fat acceptance movement. Their only come back is to accuse anyone who disagrees with them of being skinny and anorexic. They know Fat Bastard and me. They know how fat Fat Bastard is. They resent him for banging size typical and skinny women yet none of them can or will fuck him and they get jealous because there simply are not enough fat admirers like me for them. The girls of the old fat acceptance are a spiteful and jealous bunch of man haters.

Fat Bastard is right. In many ways skinny women are more pleasant. That is not to say that there are not some wonderful BBW's and SSBBW's. There are and they really know how to party but that comes with their higher self esteem and their strident nature. Skinny women tend to be shy and withdrawn and sometime a bit more compassionate and less prideful. BBW's love their bodies and skinny women hate their bodies. There is no such thing as skinny pride but fat pride abounds. I like aggressive, prideful and strong women because being a great cocksman and manly man I can handle them. Fat Bastard prefers a demure, coy and gentle woman.

Anonymous said...

Just thought I'd let Scrawny Bear and Thin Bastard know that their lord and mistress has been featured once again in a very dignified article.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/24/meme-roth-obesity-nutrition

Proud FA said...

Listen anonymous, I won't speak for Fat Bastard other than to say Ms Roth is a nutrition and anti obesity crusader. I read the article you posted the link for and all I can say is what's your point. MeMe Roth thinks being fat is unhealthy. Fat Bastard agrees. He is living proof that it is. You seem to miss the point. The new fat acceptance and this blog is about promoting gluttony. Ms Roth says obesity is unhealthy and for the most part we agree with her but it is our position that the joys of gluttony outweigh it risks.

We part company with Ms Roth on the idea of things like fat taxes, junk food banning or other wise judging people for being gluttons. We have more respect for her mission and positions even though we disagree with her than we do for dishonest organizations like NAAFA.

MeMe Roth is a zealot but she is not hurting anyone. I cannot say the same about the fat acceptance movement.

Fat Bastardo said...

EAT!