Teddy Bear is perhaps the greatest voice in the new fat acceptance movement. While Teddy's expertise is in gaining, fat anatomy, soma types and obesity health and nutrition he too is a strong advocate for fat rights and obesity for all America. It is people like Teddy Bear who have helped create this nation of obese and greedy gluttons. This year 400,000 of us will eat ourselves to death and that number is growing in leaps and pounds thanks to people like Kelly Bliss, NAAFA founder Bill Fabrey, Conrad Blickenstorfer feederism's philosopher king, our own ProudFA aka the Dean of Feederism, the lovely Joy Nash, Big Fat Dynamo, and the list goes on. All these people have recieved accolades but now it is time to salute the NEXT BIG THING in fat acceptance let's have a big cyber round of applause for Biggest Fattest Blog owner and inspiration to all of use in the NEW fat accpetance movement soon to be the fattest man on earth TEDDY BEAR!! For those of you who don't know it Teddy Bear is going to be the fattest man on earth. What greater representative for the NEW fat acceptance than having a man that will make Michael Habrenko or the late Hambone look like a stuck boy.
Teddy in honor of you Bigger Fatter Blog presents this pictorial essay;
A mere stick boy compared to what Teddy Bear WILL become!
HA HA HA show off, even now Teddy makes you look like the runt of the litter.
OK Twiggy enough with the horizontal stripes. You are not fooling anyone!
Finally a worthy challenger. Mexicans really are hard workers and this guy is proof!
Michael Hebranko Brookhaven sellout. WHAT A WIMP!
Teddy, I hope you enjoy these images and please know that we at Bigger Fatter Blog have confidence that you will beat these bean poles. Eat EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!
EAT!
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT
LADIES AND GENTLEMAN and FELLOW FATLINGS; LET ME PRESENT: Obesity Pioneer, Visionary, Obesity Nutritionist, Fat Assed Sissy boy, Blogging Genius, Artist, Author, Gaining and Gluttony Guru, Fat Rights Activist, Obesity Promoter and soon the next holder of the Guiness Book of World Records world fattest human, your friend and ours the immortal, from the great state of Texas, Texas Jew boy... TEDDY BEAR!!
From Teddy's Biggest Fattest Blog:
http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com/?zx=f03f60285af2bb43
OH WOW! I am honored! thank you very much Fat Bastard! I'm flattered!
ReplyDeleteFlattery (or should I say fattery?) will most certainly get you somewhere!!!
And again, as usual, I'm the first to post on another new topic, the first greedy, gluttons, fat little piggy boy to the trough!
OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK! OINK!
I most point out though, the 400,000 deaths per year due to obesity, has also been shown to be an exaggeration, at least, according to the Center For Consumer Freedom. It's more like 25,000 deaths per year. But then, that's another story.
It is still true, however, that more people die from obesity than from anorexia.
But anorexics do not last as long in their meager lifestyles as we greedy obese gluttons.
For example, the average person can go up to six weeks without eating before dying of starvation. I believe the world's record, held by a political prisoner on a hunger strike, was about 70 days.
Anorexics have been known to continue in their lifestyles for about a decade, but that is because they don't go totally without food. They do eat occasionally, but just barely enough to stay alive.
But most anorexics tend to die off while in their teens to late 20s. A few have survived into their 40s, but that was because they had started their eating disorders later in life, however, it's pretty much a sure bet, that once one begins the anorexic lifestyle, that they will not last longer than 5 to 10 years, living with anorexia.
But, we gluttons, we can go on in our gluttonous lifestyles for more than 10 years, more like 20 to 30 years, and some have even lasted 40 years after starting their gluttonous lifestyles.
So, we greedy obese gluttons do live longer than most anorexics. It take longer to eat yourself to death than it dose to starve yourself to death.
But gluttony is a lot more fun way to go out than anorexia.
Also, we gluttons are much happier than anorexics, and we love ourselves, which is why we like to feed ourselves so much delicious food.
Anorexics hate themselves as much as they hate fat people. In fact, they actually hate themselves even more than they hate fat people.
You would really have to hate yourself in order to deprive yourself of food.
Gluttony is about greedy self-love, while anorexia is about self-hate.
I would much rather die a thousand pound blob (hopefully a 2000 pound blob) of human flesh, and be buried in a giant Goliath Casket, than to die a mere 70 pound twig and be buried in a shoe box!
I hope that in another 3 or 4 years, to weigh at least 800 pounds. And when that time comes, I will go out, riding around down town in an electric motorized wheelchair. I will want a nice pretty bright red one! And I will have it equipped with a stereo CD player, a bicycle bell and horn, and a sign on the back that says WIDE LOAD!
As I'm sitting down, my lower belly below my waist will protrude way out beyond my big fat round knees. I will wear bright red shorts, and a T-shirt with light blue horizontal stripes to make myself look even broader. The seat on my wheelchair will be about 7 feet wide.
As I'm out around town in my bright red wheelchair, I will let people take photos of me, and encourage people to laugh at me for being such a greedy obese glutton, and I will just sit there, oh, so contentedly, with a big happy smile on my face, patting myself on my huge round belly, and laughing back.
I will show the world how happy and jolly I am! And as I slap my huge quivering belly, I will say, "Still growing! Still growing! Still growing!" as I thump, thump, thump, myself on my belly, like the EVERY-READY rabbit beating his drum!
Once again, thank you very much for this new topic dedicated to me!
I LOVE IT!!!
Wow teddy you actually want to become the fattest human on earth! I think with that attitude you may actually do it if you don't die before you get there. What steps are you taking to make sure you don't die before you reach that level of fatness?
ReplyDeleteFatJoJo said...
ReplyDelete"Wow teddy you actually want to become the fattest human on earth! I think with that attitude you may actually do it if you don't die before you get there. What steps are you taking to make sure you don't die before you reach that level of fatness?"
Yes, I would truly love to first set a new world record.
According to the Guinness Book of World's Records, the world's heaviest man was Jon Brower Minnoch (1941-1983) of Bainbridge Island, Washington. At 6 feet 1 inch he weighed more than 1400 pounds in 1979, at which point it took 13 people just to roll him over in bed. The Guinness Book of World's Records also says that he was born on September 30, 1941.
I am proud to say, that my birthday falls on the same day as the heaviest man on record! The only difference is that I was born September 30, 1951 exactly 10 years later. Right now, I only weigh about 400 pounds at 5 feet 6 inches, so he was a thousand pounds heavier than I am. He is my source of inspiration because his birthday and mine both fall on September 30.
Now the heaviest woman on record was Carol Yager (1960-1994) of Flint, Michigan. She was 5 feet 7 inches and estimated to have weighed more than 1600 pounds at her peak. She had been fat since childhood.
So, the heaviest man on record was 6 feet 1 inch and weighed over 1400 pounds, what the heavies woman on record was 5 feet 7 inches and weighed over 1600 pounds. So she was 6 inches shorter and 200 pounds heavier thant the heaviest man.
Like, come on guys! Can't we do better than that?
She is also my source of inspiration. I hope some day to weigh even more than she did. I would love to set a new world's record, and then go on to set another new world's record by becoming the first human being to weigh a full ton, 2000 pounds, and then, go on to weigh more than a ton!
I don't know if I can ever achieve such a goal, but I'm sure as Hell going to try to go for it!
As for the steps I'm taking to make sure I live to achieve my goal, I avoid junk foods. I eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. I like my vegetables stir-fried in olive oil with wine sauce, and I melt butter and sharp cheddar cheese over my vegetables.
I eat all kinds of fruit when I have a craving for sweets, and I like lots of cool whip on my strawberries.
So, I use lots of butter and cheese when I cook. I find ways to ad a lot more calories to my healthy food choices.
I also use fish oil which is good for the heart and the brain, and fish oil does have a lot of calories.
It is possible to prepare healthy food in such a way to increase the calorie content, and then, I eat lots of it.
I hope someday to be the first human to weigh a full ton!
And then some!
Teddy Bear writes: "Gluttony is about greedy self-love, while anorexia is about self-hate."
ReplyDeleteTeddy, truer words were never spoken! As usual you once again put all your weight behind that one and hit it outta the ballpark. That is why I have sex with skinny chicks because they have low self esteem and low standards plus the fact that physically it takes a skinny Jack Sprat type like Proud FA to do the horizontal bop with a BBW or SSBBW.
Teddy you have inspired us here at Bigger Fatter Blog and while I was on some ana site looking at these pathetic but hot skinny chicks and their "Thinsporation" and their I guess admirable quest to get super skinny I could not help but think of you and your brave and glorious quest in paying homage to our belly God. I thought it was time to honor you and do what I can to inspire you. This was not meant as fattery or flattery. It was long overdue hip hip hooray and an OINK! OINK! OINK!
As a size acceptance pioneer I cannot only defend the rights of us obese gluttons but it would be hypocritical not to defend those self loathing ana and mia chicks. The mean man hating women in the old tired fat acceptance movement also hate the anas and mias because deep down they really want to be like them. Sadly the fat women of the old NAAFA style fat acceptance don't really accept themselves because they won't accept their own gluttony. They lie and say they barely eat and frankly that kind of fucking bullshit is one reason more grizzly bear men like me are not in the movement. We men are not afraid to say we are gluttons. We are proud of the huge and obscene amounts of food we eat. Just as we embrace our fatness we also embrace out gluttony and unbridled food lust. That is why you are such an inspiration.
What I love about you and hate about them is the day you are wheeled our of your house with a crane in a whale sling and hauled to the hospital on a flat bed truck. We in the new fat acceptance will cheer for you whereas the ugly women in the old fat acceptance movement will say you were a VICTIM of some bullshit genetic anomaly (you know how that bitches like to portray fat people as tragic victims) instead of celebrating your landmark achievement and elevating you to the sainthood you deserve even though you Jews don't have saints in your religion. You will be Sri Teddy Bear or Saint Teddy Bear, The Prophet Teddy bear and we will have a seder in your honor and open our double doors for your arrival and in honor of your great and glorious gormandizing and gluttony.
You will probably outlive me but you can count on Proud FA to set the record straight and you earth shattering achievement will be memorialized here on Bigger Fatter Blog and on your wonderful blog and Proud FA will alert ALL the media outlets so that the truth of your glorious quest will be reported without the fat hate media spin.
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT
EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT
Teddy is an educated glutton and gainer. He could write a book on gaining. He can do this Jo Jo and we need to support him in this.
ReplyDeleteI thought I knew a lot about the science and art of gaining but Teddy is a bonafide expert. His method of insulin modulation is cutting edge. Now I can feed with high glycemic carbs as well as fat.
ProudFA said...
ReplyDelete"Teddy is an educated glutton and gainer. He could write a book on gaining. He can do this Jo Jo and we need to support him in this.
I thought I knew a lot about the science and art of gaining but Teddy is a bonafide expert. His method of insulin modulation is cutting edge. Now I can feed with high glycemic carbs as well as fat."
Yes, if you a glutton who loves gaining weight to become more and more obese, then, Insulin Dependent Type 2 Diabetes can actually be a lot of fun!
It's actually the best thing that can happen to a happy gaining glutton!
But remember . . . . .
YOU MUST ABSOLUTELY KEEP THOSE BLOOD SUGAR LEVELS UNDER CONTROL!!!
You have to keep them within the normal range, not allowing them to go above 180 MAX and no lower than 70 at the minimum.
So, the more you eat, the more insulin you need to cover what you eat.
In theory, you can eat pies and cakes, and ice cream all day long, if you take enough insulin to cove it.
And insulin cause even more weight gain.
So, the bigger your body becomes, the more insulin you will need.
And the more insulin you use, the more weight you will gain.
So, we diabetics are actually very luck. We can pump ourselves up like huge balloons, until be become completely helpless, bed-fast, and immobile.
And then, we can keep on gaining!!!
It sounds like great fun Teddy Bear and I support you all the way.
ReplyDeleteBrenda said...
ReplyDelete"It sounds like great fun Teddy Bear and I support you all the way."
Thank you very much!
Teddy, why don't you just drink poison. It would be quicker.
ReplyDeleteSlam dunked him Teddy! OINK!
ReplyDeleteTeddy bear cannot accept your salute. He is too busy vomiting his non-existent guts out with his skull buried in a toilet, cradling his ribs and crying to himself.
ReplyDelete