私は日本の転換だと思う。私は日本の転換だと思う。私は本当にそう思います。日本人は常に肥えたの偉大な畏敬の念を持っていたが、次のビデオは、日本に大きな脂肪の少年たちはそれを持ってどれだけを示しています。日本人は地球上で最大の人々です！
Japanese women are generally skinny and really sexy and they love fat boys like me, Fat Bastard.
日本の女性は一般的に、本当にセクシーな痩せていると、彼らは私のような脂肪の男の子が大好きです。
We fat boys spend a lot of time in doctor's offices and hospitals and too often we are looked after by fat angry hairy nurses who only like skinny guys. Nurses in Japan are all skinny and HOT!
Angry American nurse on right.
I'd beat the shit out of Godzilla if they'd let me live in Japan. I, Fat Bastard love Japan. What a country! What a great culture!
Stop pedophiles BOYCOTT AMAZON!
Good evening Fat Bastard:
ReplyDeleteI like the video of the fattest kid in Japan.
Yeah, he's a real Apple-boy alright!
Although he has a fat butt and short fat legs, his belly is much bigger around than his hips, more than twice as big around as his hips I would say.
So his butt looks really small compared to his great big belly. Also, his breasts are much bigger than his butt-cheeks! And his love-handles are broader than his hips, and the fat on his lower-back protrudes out further than his butt.
I don't know for sure, maybe it was the camera angle, but his upper arms appear to be bigger around than his thighs.
Hopefully he will continue to gain so much fat on his upper-body until his upper-arms and forearms are bigger around than his hips.
Then he will look like some of the apple-boys depicted in some of my artwork on my blog.
But he needs to go bald on top of his head, then he will become the PERFECT apple-boy!
By the way . . . . .
Remember the artwork I sent to you in a private E-mail?
Could you do me a small favor? Please?
Could you send back some copies of the artwork I had E-mailed to you as attachments. Also, a copy of the text, if you please.
I lost some of my artwork while working on my computer.
I had installed Windows 7 on my computer, but it's not as good as my old Windows XP Professional.
Also, I need to go out tomorrow to buy a new video card so I can use my new wide screen monitor again instead of the old suckie monitor I'm using now.
So, please E-mail back copies of the drawings I sent you!
Pretty please!
I'm begging on my fat dimpled knees!
Thank you.
Teddy Bear
The Land of the Rising Sun is also the land of the sumo wrestler - legendary samurai warriors skilled in martial arts, and in lovemaking. Although the minimum weight for a sumo wrestler is about 150 lbs, most compete at weights of over 300 lbs, and some top the scales at over 500 lbs. There are no weight classes, and therefore a 240 pound wrestler can find himself competing against a man more than twice his weight.
ReplyDeleteYet the smaller man can still win, through superior technique, and by using his opponent's size against him. It is a myth that sumo wrestlers only eat, they are also incredibly flexible and physically strong. Many 500+ pound sumo wrestlers do complete splits, and can lift their legs almost into a straight line while standing on one leg. They eat only two meals per day, after large workouts.
Sumo wrestlers are a dying breed, though, because fewer and fewer families are sending their sons to become sumo wrestlers. Anybody who is male and meets the minimum height, minimum weight, and minimum and maximum age requirements can join a stable, if they are accepted, as they usually are.
Many of the successful sumo wrestlers marry attractive models who weigh less than 100 lbs. Using their "samurai sword", they cause their wives to reach a state of pregnancy, which has about a 50% chance of producing a male, who will often become a sumo wrestler himself if he chooses.
Training can start as young as 12 or so years old, and is very intense. Newer wrestlers must care for the senior ones by doing their chores, assisting them with dressing, preparing food for the entire stable, and only eating after each higher rank of wrestlers have eaten.
Sumo wrestlers eat chanko-nabe, which is a stew that contains many vegetables, as well as chicken, pork, fish, and rice- providing everything a growing wrestler needs to keep packing on the weight. By the time it's a new wrestler's turn to eat, usually there is no meat/fish/pork left, so eggs are then cracked and added to the mix to provide the necessary protein. The new wrestlers receive only pocket money, no salary - and many of them quit within a few years. Of course, they have plenty of beer as well, with each meal.
Those who advance into the professional ranks get a salary. The lowest professional rank is called juryo, which gets about $11,000 a month. Maegashira are the lowest rank within the top division, and they get $14,000 a month; sanyaku (title-holders) get $18,000 a month; ozeki (champions) get $25,000 a month, and a yokozuna (horizontal rope) gets $30,000 a month base salary. Plus free housing and all the chanko-nabe you can eat.
You also receive 6 bonuses per year, based on the number of tournaments where you have won more than they lost during your career. If you go undefeated, or beat a yokozuna while ranked as a mageshira, you get a huge permanent increase in your bonus plan. Of course, all amounts are in yen, not dollars. Out of about 720 sumo wrestlers, 530 are considered to still be in training, so it's not many that make the bigger bucks.
I have decided to go to Japan to see some sumo action in person.
What website were you talking about on my post? you didn't send the link.
ReplyDelete& I don't want to eat healthy, I don't want to eat at all. Every food has calories, calories are not good.
@ Teddy Bear,
ReplyDeleteI will check my email and if I have not deleted it I will send it toot sweet.
That Japanese boy has a great look! He's filling out really really nice.
@ BLA,
Sumo kicks ass. It is the best sport ever.
I think the NFL should use Sumos in the line. I get so sick of seeing the ball on the one yard line and the defense stopping the run. Put is a few sumos and it will be like try to stop a bulldozer. When I played football I was not the biggest guy on the team. We had this guy we called Meatball. He was 5'6 and well over 300 pounds. He was more like a wrecking ball.
I also think that the NHL should use really fat guys ie the 700+ pounders to black the whole net.
Dear Fat Bastard,
ReplyDeleteSumo wrestlers would be excellent on the offensive line. You get some morbidly obese O-linemen weighing 500+ lbs, with strength, flexibility, and SIZE, and you would have an excellent force to be reckoned with.
However, being the center takes the most skill out of the O-line positions, so a sumo wrestler who's lived in Japan his whole life would be bad at that position, too hard to learn it on the fly. So, you get a 320 lbs center, a traditional tight end as well, and then fill in the rest of the line with sumo linemen. Each will take up about 1.5 to 2 men, giving the Q-back unbelievable protection.
And these guys can move as well, so they can help break up a blitz with their huge size, speed, and sheer stopping power.
Now about rushing plays - I think the sumos would be able to help, but not in the way you think. You want a traditional running back, but instead what you do is have the sumo O-line simply open up a lane, creating a gap for the ~230 lbs running back. In a shoving contest, a sumo wrestler will always win, so creating lanes would be easy. Whereas a 600 lbs running back would be very injury-prone - you have to have them in positions where they are less likely to be falling down and getting tackled.
Now on the defensive side of the line, obviously a sumo wrestler could become an ideal, true nose tackle. The key there is to be able to handle 2 offensive linemen.
Regarding the hockey sumo idea, this has been explored in the book "Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan", where they had a college hockey goalie in a fat suit replicating like a 700 lbs man, trying to block shots, and basically it did not work out that well. Also, the padding has a max size, so therefore most of the fat would be unprotected against pucks coming at over 100 mph. Also, hockey players would be violent towards such a goalie, and that is tolerated in hockey, and he'd get beaten badly.
Anyway, yeah - we need sumos in the NFL!!
I'm thinking that you would not want the Sumos in on every play but in short yardage situations.
ReplyDeleteI do think that the goalie thing still may work. A 600 pounder with block at least 3/4 of the net and 2 defense men could protect the remaining 1/4.
I also think that the super obese goalie's team mates would protect him from the bullies.
Also if you could hypnotize the goalie and tell him that the puck was a giant Oreo cookie he'd be all over the puck.
Good morning Fat Bastard:
ReplyDeleteI got the E-mail you sent me.
Thanks.
I got a new videos card for my computer, and I also got an extra 512 Megabytes of RAM, so I now have 1024 Megabytes of RAM, a full Gigabyte of RAM.
I have recently installed Windows 7 Professional on my computer, but I really don't like it.
We can't buy Windows XP Professional anymore, Microsoft now only sells Windows Vista which sucks, and Window 7 which is better than Windows Vista, which still sucks.
I don't like the new MS Paint. The paint brushes are much harder to use, and it was beginning to look like I wouldn't be creating any more new fat cartoons.
So, I started doing a Google search to see if it was possible to download the old version of MS Paint, and there is a download available but I could not get it to work at all.
Then I discovered on the Microsoft web site a couple of programs called Virtual PC and XP Mode.
So, I downloaded and installed them to my computer, and now, my Windows 7 can run in XP mode.
Now, when I boot up my computer, first it loads windows 7 and I loge in.
Then I click on the desktop Icon named Windows XP Mode, and it loads just like Windows XP and I can now use my old style MS Paint.
So, I'm back in business again.
It's like having two computers in one, and when I want to shut down my computer, first I have to log out of the XP Mode to close Virtual PC, then I log out of Windows 7.
Yeah! It's kind of weird, but it works!
Anyway, thanks for the E-mail.
I just down loaded GIMP and it's very cool. It's FREE!
ReplyDeleteIf you have an old machine lying around install Umbuntu on it.
I have noticed that your work is showing up on Google Image search. Next time I see a site using your cartoons I'll send you the link.
Gimp is like photo shop and it has some features like paint. It's quite sophisticated.
Because I don't like to alter images of people I probably won't be "GIMPing" any of the photos of fatlings. Cartoons are a whole other thing. You have done a magnificent job in updating older cartoons to the proportions they would be today.
Have you looked into Blogger to Print?
I think you can get a book deal. Google Preditors & Editors and fine yourself a literary agent. I have been trying to convince Proud FA to write an anti diet book for gainers. After all he is the Dean of Feederism.
Your cutting edge work with fat somatypes should be in print.
You may be too talented to get a book deal judging by what is being passed off as literature these days.
ReplyDeleteYou should get a book deal and so should Teddy!