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| Plump pretty proudly displays BBW belly |
Only a small percentage of Americans prefer being lean to the pleasures of food and we at Bigger Fatter Blog think that's a good thing and so should you. Unlike other fat acceptance organizations we not only promote obesity we promote gluttony and not just regular gluttony but guilt free hyper gluttony.
Another thing that sets us apart from hateful organization like NAAFA is that we are not anti-diet. That may sound counter to our mission but it really isn't. We are confident enough in the power of food and gluttony not to have to resort to admonishing people who are not comfortable with their weight and gluttony. We don't put down dieters or skinny people the way NAAFA does. We are smart and because we are smart we know that we require the services of thinlings. While they are second class citizens we still respect them.
75% of Americans are fat or obese. That fact alone speaks volumes. Americans are overwhelmingly choosing food and gluttony over health, fitness and leanness. Our mission is to let people know that gluttony is GOOD but it is also OK not to choose the gluttonous lifestyle.
WARNING!!
Bigger Fatter Blog's fat science and statistical division has shown that the current ratio of American gluttony and obesity is reaching the tipping point.Until technology improves we must maintain a super obesity level under 50% and an overall fat and obesity level under 80%. We determined this using the Eatonhiemer formula and verified it with then Hindenberger equations. The following pie charts demonstrate the numbers in a visual way.
The first pie chart was created by the Oinkenoffen Institute.
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| This chart slows the percentage of overweight Americans vs the obese and morbidly obese |
The chart below was created by the Australian Gluttonower Foundation
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| The slice being removed indicates the small percentage of Americans who choose to remain slender. |
best. pie chart. ever. :D
ReplyDeleteThat pie chart is making me drool. I wish they would sell pies like that one YUM!
ReplyDeleteThat pie chart needs to be a la mode.
ReplyDeleteBELLY BOY, OUT
You are correct sir!!
ReplyDeleteMmmmmm, pumpkin pie is so delicious, I love to eat it.
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhhhhh, I love the calories.
Guess what!? REVEREND LARD ASS IS TAKING ME ON A FIELD TRIP!!
I AM GOING TO THE HEART ATTACK GRILL!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! We're going on a trip to the Phoenix area, and he's going to fly me out to Phoenix now that I am strong enough to get through everything. I am going to get obliterated before I get on that plane, so that I will be so drunk I will not be scared to fly. I am worried that the plane will not be able to take off with me in it. Hopefully if something does go down, I would be able to stop it using my aisle blocker abilities to save the day and become a national hero.
Anyway, I plan on eating as many Quadruple Bypass Burgers as I can, for free, since I well exceed the 350 pound amount for free burgers. I can't wait! I have my bellytop computer so I could still post while I am on the road, which is a nice side bonus.
BELLY BOY, OUT
Belly Boy,
ReplyDeleteThey should pay your airfare and they should pay you to endorse the HAG aka Heart Attack Grill.
Your pilgrimage to the HAG is like the pope going to Jerusalem. This is a monumental event great historical significance.
Hey everybody! It's belly boy time!
ReplyDeleteI just landed in Phoenix, and man are my calves tired! This piggy CAN FLY! Oink oink oink!
But man, traveling was quite an ordeal! Thanks to the new security requirements, I had to either go through the body scanner or get a manual scan. However, I cannot fit through the scanner machine, so I had to be manually searched, which was very erotic. He had to lift and prod each fold, searching for contraband, and he looked incredibly disgusted the entire time. They called in a rookie to do it since none of the more senior ones wanted to deal with me. It took a long time to search me completely, and I was making small talk with him.
I had to be pushed in a bariatric wheelchair most of the time, since I am not yet capable of walking very far, only a few dozen yards at a time. But I was able to stand up to be searched. Yeah, I hadn't washed in over a week, so I was pretty ripe when he searched me. That was part of my goal, if they're going to search me then they might as well have to do it the hard way, aka the smelly way, aka the belly boy way.
Getting on the plane, I took up more than two full seats, and they booted me and Big Lard Ass off of the plane because they said I need 3 seats and Big Lard Ass needs 2 seats. That means we couldn't sit next to each other either, which was really upsetting. I started panicking because they at first said that only I was getting booted and BLA could stay, because I can't travel alone! So I put up a huge colossal stink, yelling and whining as much as I could, before finally they relented and agreed to bump us up to first class for the next flight.
BLA could fit in a first class seat, but I couldn't. I need 3 full coach seats, so we got bumped yet again, with BLA getting a free coach seat, and me getting 2 free coach seats plus 1 coach seat I had to pay for. I asked for and got triple snacks, and it was pretty cool. BLA got tons of free food, and I ordered 9 beers in total before they cut me off.
Then we got into Phoenix and checked into a hotel, and now BLA is out getting us some take-out while I sit and type this on his laptop. He's such a good friend to me, and I can't wait to experience the glory of the Heart Attack Grill, and it's delicious and delectable Quadruple Bypass Burgers. They are quite awesome, and I am so effing excited about this.
I wish that Candy Apple was a computer company. The computers would have special food tubes in them for you to suck on while you use the computer, and then you would be able to get delicious food while you used your computer.
This technology would make me, Belly Boy, a billionaire. They would call me Steve Careers. Or Bill Portcullises if I invented the "Pie on the Windowsill" operating system, which would gobble up market share like an SSBBW gobbles up the man pudding of FAs at a NAAFA convention.
Oink oink oink. Anyway I am excited and thrilled about my upcoming culinary adventures. Hopefully they will go well. But I do think they will go well, I am planning on staying there pretty much all day just eating, eating, eating, eating, and eating. I have several thousand dollars with me for beverage purposes, so I should be set on that front. It's going to be an epic feast, and I only wish that Teddy Bear, Fat Bastard, and Proud FA could be with me for this event. Also Rotunda Hindenburg, and some of the other female contributors to the Bigger Fatter Blog.
If I'm lucky, maybe one of the waitresses/nurses will invite me back to her place for a little intensive care, if you know what I mean! (But I'm not counting on it. In which case, don't worry because I have planned for this by looking up some strip clubs to take BLA to as my payback for him taking me on this exciting trip.)
BELLY BOY, OUT
WOW Belly Boy what an interesting and inspiring story OINK OINK OINK OINK OINK
ReplyDeleteI will be posting it as an article on Bigger Fatter Blog and I will be adding comments and various snorts and oink.
All of us at Bigger Fatter Blog are excited for you. OINK OINK OINK SNORT SNORT SUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I love that big belly in the wheelbarrow. So sexy.
ReplyDeleteHe sure is one SSBHM. Super Sized Big Handsome Man
ReplyDelete