The Biggest Gainer.

OK I admit it. I watch the Biggest Loser. I guess we all like to see train wrecks but while watching it over at Fat Bastard's place we both thought about pitching a show to the networks called the Biggest Gainer. Watching fat people huff and puff, get yelled at and collapse on treadmills may be entertaining from a Jackass/Bam Magera sort of way but food is a hell of a lot more fun than watching fatlings sweat. Eating it is even more fun.


Bam Margera and his fatling father Phil.


The Biggest Gainer could be a much bigger hit than the Biggest Loser.

One of the things that make the Biggest Loser entertaining are the weigh-in and the athletic competition. The Biggest Gainer could have all that and then some. Eating is great competition. There could be on eating competition after another. Fatling gainers could eat everything from wieners to pies.

If you are a gainer and you want to increase your belly obesity you won't miss moment of this show. This show will have a built in audience of feeders, feedees and gainers.



Fatlings love tractor pulling contests. Imagine a power scooter pulling contest. That would be cool.

Prizes could go to the fatlings with the highest blood pressures, most cardiovascular disease, medications, trips to the ER and blood sugar levels.


Git er done!





A mixed doubles feeder feeder competition would be outstanding!

Some of you may think that the networks won't listen to me and Fat Bastard but when they find out that Bigger Fatter Blog is the leading FA Blog in the world they will listen. When they figure out that Bigger Fatter Blog is the leading authority and most frequently quoted source on all things fat they will sit up and take notice.

Fat Bastard and I would like our reader's input on this such as where the show should be taped, (I say New Orleans Louisiana is the fattest state) who the hosts should be, (I say Emeril Lagasse and Paula Deen the butter Queen) who the coaches should be, I say Coach Gaines and the Chef. Fat Bastard would be the executive producer. "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear would be the technical adviser. Rev BLA would be the spiritual adviser in case some of them die and Belly Boy would be the expert commentator.

Now for some gratuitous pictures of BBWs!

Increase Your Belly Obesity

Through the miracles of modern modern medicine it is now possible to get more fat from your gluttonous eating to end up on your belly. Today massive belly obesity is easier than ever!  It turns out that drugs like Paxil, Zoloft, Selexa and all the other drug in that class called SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) will really help you pack on the belly blubber. You won't find gaining tips like this on Dimensions or Belly Builders. This is real science like the kind you will find on "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear's authoritative Biggest Fattest Blog.

Here is how Zoloft and other SSRIs work to increase you belly blubber. SSRIs like Zoloft increase your cortisol levels. When you increase cortisol levels, you experience edema, water retention — weight gain.  People on these SSRI antidepressants average a whopping 60-70 pounds in weight gain. If you think that's great most of it goes to your belly! How cool is that! If you eat sweets it will work even better.


Unfortunately weight gain drugs like SSRIs are not without some side effects but depending on how you look at it most of are not all that undesirable especially if you are a gaining glutton. Alarmists like CG Brady would tell you to avoid these wonder drugs but he also tells people to lose weight.




Here are the side effects of the SSRIs:


Serzone has just been found to cause liver damage; and, there is now a black box warning on that particular drug. That my sound like a bad thing but the poor starving folk in the starving medical industrial complex need business. Liver transplants pay well plus you will be disabled and you will get free medical care.

Sometimes people on these medical wonders go off the deep end and go on killing sprees and abuse kids.

In order for you to understand what causes people to do something so awful, and so completely out of character for them, you have to look at what is happening in their bodies while on drugs like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, Sarafem, Fen-Phen, Redux, Meridia, Effexor, Serzone, Wellbutrin or Zyban; what is happening in their brains; and what is happening to their cortisol levels.



A single, 30 mg dose of Prozac — that's a pill and a half — given to someone who has never taken the drug before, and who never takes it again, will double his or her cortisol levels.
Why is this significant?  Research indicates that high cortisol levels cause:

• Brain damage.
•  
• Cushing's Syndrome, characterized by a hump at the top of the spine, rounded body with smaller arms and legs, round face, like you would see with Down's Syndrome, and emotional instability.  Moods can fluctuate from degrees of euphoria or mania, and full psychosis, to the depths of depression.  Other problems associated with Cushing's Syndrome include:
•  
• Irritability. (Fat Bastard loves being ornery.)
• Decreased ability to handle stress. (So what?! Just get more drugs! Sheesh!!)
• Decreased glucose tolerance, which often develops into hypoglycemia and diabetes. (Injecting a little extra insulin is a great way to increase appetite and thanks to Liberty Medical all your diabetic supplies are FREE! It's a win win situation!)
• Muscle weakness, brought on by potassium loss and / or the actual metabolism — or wasting — of muscle mass, capillary weakness, brought on by protein loss, and poor wound healing. (Again, this is a good thing muscle loss lowers your metabolic rate so you can get fatter on less food. This is a positive side effect!)
• Bone demineralization and susceptibility to fractures, due to decreased bone mineral, and calcium in the urine. (Big deal! Get a power chair! They're free too!)
• Retarded bone growth in children, probably for the same reasons. (They won't run around as much and they will get fat and fat kids are cute.)
• Edema, renal disorders, fluid retention around the face and eyes.  Hypertension, from sodium and water retention. (This too is good because you will look even fatter!)
• Protruding abdominal cavity, which is why both men and women begin to look pregnant after using these drugs for a while. (...And this is a bad thing?)
•  
•  
• Girdle obesity. (That's a bad thing?)

     

• Increased production of androgen steroids, resulting in abnormal mammary gland function in men, even to the point of producing milk, and masculinizing of features in women, including excess hair growth on their face, neck, chest, abdomen and thighs. (A lot of the fat girls get pig bristles and most of the are on Paxil for their fat girl histrionics. A lot of FAs find it sexy. Men producing milk is a good thing. What if big mama's tits dry up? Having some back up milk for baby is a good thing!)
•  
• 
• Acne. (Fat guys love popping zits.)
• Peptic ulcers. (Not if you eat first.)
• Decreased or depressed immune system, and suppressed inflammation response, which can mask some very serious infections. (OK one very minor risk)

These are just a few of the things that can happen as a result of the increase of cortisol from these drugs.

When you're literally doubling your cortisol levels on a daily basis, your body is completely deteriorating.  I can't think of anything more damaging to the body — or the brain — than that huge increase of cortisol.