Proud FA's Guide to Gaining and Maintaining

As the Dean of Feederism it was important for me to know exactly how much to feed a female fatling to plump her up and keep her plumped. Now that I am with Thinnette I have been reading some pro anorexia blogs in order to gain a greater understanding of gaining and maintaining. This will not be my most exciting article but I feel it is important for both pretty plump gainers and those lovely lovely thinlings guys like Fat Bastard and I adore and love to bone.

It's All About the Calories Stupid!

In spite of what the mean, jealous and angry girls in the old FA movement would like you to believe gaining and maintaining is all about calories in vs calories out. If you want to get fat you simply have to eat more food high in calories. If you want to lose weight you simply need to eat less calories. If you want to maintain you need to eat the correct about of calories.

Tips and Tricks

1. Eat a lot but don't eat often. While this may sound counter intuitive, it isn't. Eating actually increases your metabolic rate and it keeps you from being ravenously hungry.

2. Don't move anymore that you absolutely must. Moving burns precious calories.

3. While you cannot avoid all fruits and vegetable remember that fiber takes up space and it take a lot of energy to digest. If you get constipated have your feeder give you a laxative or an enema. Enemas are fun.

4 If I have said it once I have said it 10000000 times - FAT FATTENS BEST! Fat contains a whooping 9 calories per gram whereas carbohydrates and proteins contain a paltry 4 calories per gram.

5. Sleep a with a blanket or at least a sheet over you. Your giant body surface loses massive amounts of of heat. Heat = Calories!

6. Use your diabetes! Take a little extra insulin to spike your appetite.

7. Look for fast food bargains and specials.

8. Replace your half & half with cream.

9. Watch the Food Network of Fatspiration.

10. Find a good food delivery service.

Now for some truly non-thinspirational words from our good friend friend Coach Gains.


Coach Nestor Gains: Nobel Prize and Taco Bell Prize winning eating coach.

If you see a pound's been lost, don't give up at any cost. KEEP ON EATING! - Coach Gains

EAT! - Coach Gains

1 2 3 4 you can eat a whole lot more. 5 6 7 8 hurry up and clean your plate. - Coach Gains

Enough with the rabbit food; vegetables are what food eats. - Coach Gains

Welcome to the Metabolic Ballpark!

Ladies first.



Here are the metabolic numbers for slightly active women age 35. If you are older than 35 the numbers will be slightly lower and if you are younger than 35 the numbers will be slightly higher. The same holds true for men.

At 100 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 960 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 480 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 1440 per day

At 120 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1152 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 576 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 1728 per day

At 140 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1344 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 672 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2016 per day

At 160 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1344 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 672 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2016 per day

At 180 pounds... a mere pup

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1728 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 864 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2592 per day

At 200 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1920 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 960 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2880 per day

At 220 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2112 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1056 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3168 per day

At 240 pounds...... Now you're getting the idea!

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2304 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1152 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3456 per day

At 260 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2496 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1248 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3744 per day

At 280 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2688 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1344 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 4032 per day

At 300 pounds...... You've come a long way baby!

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2880 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1440 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 4320 per day

At 350 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 3360 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1680 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 5040 per day

At 400 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 3840 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1920 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 5761 per day

At 450 pounds.... True dedication!

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 4320 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2160 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 6481 per day

At 500 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 4800 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2400 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 7201 per day

At 600 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 5761 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2880 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 8641 per day

At 700 pounds PERFECTION!

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 6721 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 3360 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 10081 per day

Gentlemen, it's your turn.

Note. Men have slightly higher metabolic rates than women.

At 160 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1706 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 853 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2560 per day

At 180 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1920 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 960 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 2880 per day

At 200 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2133 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1066 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3200 per day

At 220 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2347 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1173 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3520 per day

At 240 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2560 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1280 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 3840 per day

At 260 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2773 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1386 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 4160 per day

At 280 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 2987 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1493 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 4480 per day

At 300 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 3200 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1600 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 4800 per day

At 350 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 3734 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 1867 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 5601 per day

At 400 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 4267 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2133 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 6401 per day

At 450 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 4800 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2400 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 7201 per day

At 500 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 5334 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 2667 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 8001 per day

At 600 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 6401 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 3200 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 9601 per day

At 700 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 7468 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 3734 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 11202 per day

At 800 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 8534 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 4267 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 12802 per day

At 900 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 9601 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 4800 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 14402 per day

At 1000 pounds

• Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 10668 calories per day
• Typical daily activities: 5334 calories per day
• Total calories burned: 16002 per day

100 pound woman.


600 pound woman with 170 pound man.


1000 pound man.

I hope our readers find this somewhat bland but data filled article useful. Weight loss guru CG Brady recommends that dieters restrict their calories no lower than their basal metabolic rate so I suppose it would follow that gainers should increase their calories to double the basal metabolic rate. I will defer to the more erudite and esteemed "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear for an expert recommendation. After all he is the world's foremost authority on science of gaining. Watch the comment section for "Dr" Bear's wisdom.

Kobayashi Arrested!

AOL News reports that competitive eater and skinny runt Takeru Kobayahsi  was arrested at the Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4th. Bigger Fattter Blog will not comment on this situation only to say that if I, Fat Bastard saw all those ultra yummy Nathan's Kosher Wieners I too would storm the stage.

I, Fat Bastard would ask that our readers chime it with their insightful comments.

Sometimes a competitive eater has to trust his gut.

And that's exactly what embattled eater Takeru Kobayashi says he did when he rushed the stage at the Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4.

In an exclusive interview with AOL News, Kobayashi claims he didn't plan on jumping onto the stage when he decided to attend the Coney Island contest. Instead, he followed his instincts -- and wound up in jail.

"There was so much cheering and I just got too excited," said Kobayashi, speaking through his interpreter, Maggie James.

Before the Nathan's event, the Japanese eater announced he wouldn't take part in the largest contest on the competitive eating circuit because he refused to sign a Major League Eating contract containing an exclusivity clause that would have barred him from participating in outside contests, obtaining certain sponsors or making media appearances without league consent.

Major League Eating Executive Director George Shea confirms that Kobayashi's contract did include an exclusivity clause, but he says those kinds of agreements are standard in sports leagues.

"The contract prevents eaters from doing events that compete with Major League Eating and its sponsors," Shea said. "There are restrictions in the contract -- and that's why he's being paid money."

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2010

Benjamin Muessig, AOL

Police arrest competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi after he rushed the stage at the 2010 Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, N.Y., on Sunday. Kobayashi, a six-time Nathan's winner, did not compete this year, but attempted to climb onto the stage after the contest ended.

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Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest 2010

Police arrest competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi after he rushed the stage at the 2010 Nathan's International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, N.Y., on Sunday. Kobayashi, a six-time Nathan's winner, did not compete this year, but attempted to climb onto the stage after the contest ended.

Benjamin Muessig, AOL

Benjamin Muessig, AOL

Kobayashi and Major League Eating officials weren't able to come to an agreement before the event, but the six-time Nathan's champ showed up anyway just before the contest began. Twenty minutes later, he was in police custody.

The eater insists he didn't show up at the competition intending to upstage the other competitive eaters, like arch rival Joey "Jaws" Chestnut -- who took home his fourth Nathan's Mustard Belt by downing 54 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes.

"There were no plans for that," Kobayashi said.

Instead, Kobayashi says he decided to watch the hot dog contest because he wanted to cheer on his fellow eaters and because he feels a special attachment to the event he revolutionized in 2001 when he doubled the existing record by downing 50 hot dogs.

But when this year's contest ended, Kobayashi says he went from a spectator to criminal suspect when the crowd started chanting, "Let him eat."

Though he speaks little English, Kobayashi says he understood what his fans wanted.

"They started yelling and chanting for me, so I got excited and before I knew it I found myself on the stage," Kobayashi said. "In my head I was thinking, 'Wow, with all the fans cheering maybe they're going to let me eat now.'

"But they caught me in one second."

Competitive Eating Legend Takeru Kobayashi

Seth Wenig, AP

 

Takeru Kobayashi revolutionized competitive eating in 2001, when he doubled the world record by eating 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. He would go on to win six consecutive titles at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Here he is after his 2006 victory.

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Competitive Eating Legend Takeru Kobayashi

Takeru Kobayashi revolutionized competitive eating in 2001, when he doubled the world record by eating 50 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. He would go on to win six consecutive titles at the Coney Island hot dog eating contest. Here he is after his 2006 victory.

Seth Wenig, AP

Seth Wenig, AP

Kobayashi spent a night in jail and was charged with obstructing governmental administration, resisting arrest, trespassing and disorderly conduct. His next court date is Aug. 5.

He says the homemade "Free Kobi" T-shirt he wore to the contest shouldn't be interpreted as a sign he knew he was going to get arrested. Instead, he maintains it was made to show his frustration with Major League Eating's restrictive contracts.

"The real basic reason is because he wanted to be free from the exclusivity clause in his contract," James said. "He was like, 'Free me from this contract so I can be in the contest.'"

Kobayashi says he wasn't there to eat, and he feels bad about stealing the show from the eaters.

"I didn't try to mess up that contest," he said.

"I guess, because of the large chanting, before I realized my body was on the stage ... I guess I just have to say I'm that kind of person -- I couldn't control myself."

Warning About Diet Aid Alli

As the million and millions of BFB readers know we take a neutral stance on dieting. If you want to diet we will not encourage nor will we discourage you. As a public service to our readers, many of whom are fatlings we issue the following warning.



Alli will make you shit your pants!

The diet industry has been a major FAIL for dieters but it has been highly profitable. There are too many worthless and dangerous diet products to mention. Let's say some lummox like be or Rev Big Lard Ass, Teddy Bear or dare I say Belly Boy were to take alli and one of us cut loose with an involuntary shit storm it could make the oil spill look like a very minor even.

There are not diet products that work. If there were most people today would be thinlings. Gluttony is the cause of obesity. The only person with a cure for gluttony is CG Brady.

Coming soon to Bigger Fatter Blog a review of ABC's new show Huge staring gorgeous girl glutton Nikki Blonsky




Gorgeous Glutton Nikki Blonsky

The Boom Shakka Lakka Burger and the Belly Boy Burger

In addition to to Reverend Big Lard Ass being the spiritual leader of the NEW fat acceptance movement he is also a gourmet burger chef and creator of the  Boom Shakka Lakka  Burger™ and the Belly Boy Burger™



One of Chef Reverend Big Lardass's assistants testing the Belly Boy Burger



The Boom Shakka Lakka Burger™



For smaller appetites the Belly Boy Junior®


The actual ingredients and cooking method of the Belly Boy Burger, The Belly Boy Jr and the Boom Shakka Lakka Burger are top secret. 


Under development are the these two master pieces of flavor depicted in the photos and the Mega Meat Meatdog but no official  photo is available.



Unlimited Belly Fries® 



Shakka Lakka Shake®



This is the Kobayashi and it is the runt of the litter compared to the Mega Meat Meatdog.

 
The Mega Meat Meatdog will be twice as thick as this skinny runt.


This will be Belly Boy's legacy. I want to write more but I need to EAT!

Goodness Gracious Great Glorious Gluttony: A Guide to dining out!

There are three criteria the experienced glutton looks for in food. The first is quantity, second is flavor and third is price. I will be discussing some of the more popular restaurants. To judge the gluttonosity of a restaurants one needs to set an industry standard or find a restaurant that is the Cadillac of glutton fare. That restaurant can only be the Heart Attack Grill. With offerings like Flat Liner Fries and the Quadruple Bypass Burger the Heart Attack Grill sets the standard by which all other glutton friendly restaurants are judged. Not only do they serve humongous amounts of food but philanthropic owner Jon Basso allows gluttons weighing over 350 pounds to eat for free! Jon Basso is a fat friendly angel and the Heart Attack Grill is a shrine and a Mecca  for gluttons Worldwide. A trip to the Heart Attack is not like a trip to your average hamburger joint, it's a scared pilgrimage.


OINK!

If you love giant burgers and you can't make it to the Heart Attack the next best place is Hardees. Political correctness of anti-gluttony advocates will not allow Hardees to market their menu selections the way the Heart Attack Grill does but Hardees offers without a doubt the best and biggest burgers in the entire fast food industry.

2/3 lb. Monster Thickburger®

Two 1/3 lb. charbroiled 100% Black Angus beef patties, 4 strips of bacon, 3 slices of American cheese and mayonnaise on a sesame seed bun. Stack two of these bad boys together and you  have  The Heart Attack Grill's Quadruple Bypass Burger and then some. All that cheese and bacon more than make up for the fat drippings lost in the charbroiling process. Two of these babies stacked will deliver an impressive 6040 calories and 190 grams of artery lubricating fat and 140 grams of muscle building protein. OINK!

Hardees is the hands down leader when it comes to variety. Check out their large and uncompromising menu.

There will be times when you are with some skinny food snob like MeMe Roth who want to eat rabbit food McDonalds, Wendy's and Quiznos are all good compromises. All offer salads and low fat foods.yet the still have an impressive number glutton friendly of menu  items. I only frequent places that are not 100% glutton friendly when I am with thinlings.

Burger King a very Glutton Friendly but their quality is far below that of the Heart Attack Grill and Hardees. Hardees also wins on value but nothing beats free like at the Heart Attack Grill. There are damn few hyper gluttons under 350 pounds.

Pizza Hut is damn good for a chain Italian restaurant but it pales in comparison with the real thing but it is fast and cheap and they serve beer and wine.



Sonic is damn good! While their food quality and glutton friendliness does not surpass Hardees or the Heart Attack Grill it is better than Burger King or McDonalds. Sonic also has good prices. The great thing about Sonic is your food is delivered right to your car by a hot looking waitress on roller skates. HOW COOL IS THAT?!




 A word of warning! Sonic offers a lot of tasty high glycemic foods like sundaes and shakes so make sure to shoot yourself up with a little extra insulin to handle all the sugar. FYI here is the Sonic Menu.

Here are some other restaurants and their ratings. Five pigs is a top rating and one pig is the lowest of the Glutton Meter.

Heart Attack Grill  Words cannot describe the Mecca of gluttons.


Hardees  They don't fuck around. We gluttons are their target demographic. There is NOTHING healthy on their menu.


Burger King  Big portions good prices but not as tasty as Hardees.


McDonalds  I gave hem 3 pigs because they are the grand daddy of fast food but they have caved to MeMe Roth too much by offering rabbit food. 


Denny's  Any restaurant  that offers fries that are covered in melted cheese and smothered in gravy gets a top rating.


Pizza Hut  Decent price and they have beer and wine but compared to real Italian food is sucks. 


KFC  Get rid of the roasted chicken and KFC will get a four pig rating


Golden Corral  ALL YOU CAN FUCKING EAT!  


Sonic  Glutton friendly and hot thinling waitress on roller skates


Quiznos   An improvement over Subway


Subway  It's Subway for Christ sake!  Look what they did to Jerrod


Wendys  It will do in a pinch and hey do cater to gluttons


Applebees    Too many healthy choices but high quality and good price


Olive Garden   Enough glutton food but skimpy portions, sucky flavor and pricey



I could write more but I'll let our readers chime in because I need to EAT!