A Food Journal For Gainers and Losers

Most fatlings are freestyle gainers. By that I mean they don't really have an eating plan or any method for the accounting of calories. Want to be fatling gainers could optimize their gaining efforts if they were simply to keep a food journal. By doing so they could eliminate nutrient dense foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables and substitute with high calorie foods like cheese, ice cream, butter, Doritos, and a wide variety of chips and dips. The dedicated gaining glutton can optimize his or her gaining simply by keeping a food journal. At the end of the day they can review that journal to see how well they've done and look for ways of improvement for the next day so that they can more efficiently ingest a larger amount of calories without ingesting space taking high fiber foods.

Eating calorie laden foods can also help to eliminate cravings for fruits and vegetables. I shudder to think of a fatling eating a lettuce salad with raspberry vinaigrette. This does not mean that an occasional trip to the salad bar is a bad idea but if you must go to the salad bar the wise glutton piles on the cheese, bacon bits and high-fat dressings. The wisest glutton seeks to eliminate vegetation altogether and ops for fat laden meats, cheese and sugary treats.

A good gainer needs tools and one of those tools the fast food pyramid. When it comes to gaining fast food is always a best bet. Fast food is quick, cheap, easy and satisfying. Fast food is a slot of food.

Many people in the size acceptance movement advocate a method of eating called health at every size or HAES that was created and popularized by Linda Bacon. The problem with HAES is that it's too confusing, especially for fat girls. Dr. Rev. Big Lard Ass coinvented the Grazen-Heimer technique along with Nobel Prize winning scientists Otto Grazen PhD and Hans Heimer PhD. Their pioneering work has led to a layman's version of the Grazen-Heimer technique. In fact there are two methods based on Grazen-Heimer. The first one is called FATT or food all the time and the other one is called EATT or eat all the time. Recently these two techniques due to their many similarities have been combined into a technique called EATT FATT. Because fat fattens best gainers are reminded to get at least 75% of the calories from fat which is much like the South Beach diet and the Atkins diet.

Gaining for Gainers.   Simplicity is key and Adherence is a must.

The successful gainer simply needs to do two things and and those two things are this first the following the fast food pyramid and simply eat all the time with the goal of an incremental increase in calories every day. Simple adherence to the simple plan will quickly propel a portly pig into mega pig like proportions by simply eating pig like portions.

Some advocates of gaining stress the need for a sedentary lifestyle and well theory this makes sense there are several serious drawbacks to this approach. If a gainer is going for weight it is important to note that muscle weighs far more than fat. The other important factor is that activity increases appetite and it aids in digestion which speeds the transport of food from the mouth to the poop chute. Eventually the gainer will become more and more sedentary as a weight increases but starting with a good base of muscle under all that fat will increase weight and increase appetite. Too many gainers and other fatlings seemed to plateau at the paltry 400 pound mark. 400 pounds is merely a good starting point.

The Mechanics of Gaining Eat a lot eat often.

Unless you're talking there is no reason stopping and even if you are talking you can still talk with food in your mouth. If you're not eating your food you should be drinking your food. Eat that.but not without a double latte. Eat that burger but not without a triple thick shake and french fries saturated in grease and covered with melted cheese and gravy. It's almost obscene eat french fries that are not smothered in cheese and covered in gravy.

Your journal will contain pages similar to a daytime and currently our engineers are working on an app  for iPad called the Gaining App/food journal. Essentially the gaining journal is a series of pages listing the days of the weeks, months of the year and hours and minutes in the day. Every time you eat you write down in the journal what you ate at its caloric content. At the end of the day will calculate the number of calories you eat in for the day compared with your basal metabolic rate. The App will calculate your  metabolic rate and total energy expenditure for that day in real-time and if you have not exceeded your metabolic rate the app will prompt you to eat some more. The app contain pictures of food and printable coupons for great deals on fast food. Every day you will set a goal to exceed your metabolic rate by a certain percentage. This is the key to sustained and progressive gaining. The aim of this method is to incrementally increase your caloric intake. This is the most natural way of gaining. The days of the feeding tube are coming to an end and feeders who want to be successful need to become encouragers. There is still a place for the feeding tube but it is losing its prominence and should only be used in emergency situations.

Losing for losers. How to eat your way lean.

Yes, you read that right. The best way to get lean is to eat your way lean. You may be asking why with a fat acceptance site promote leanness. There are a lot of angry fat girls really don't want to be fat. They whine and cry and bitch and moan and or otherwise a big pain in the ass. There always pissed off about something and that something is the fact that they are fat. They simply cannot accept the fact that they are fat so they try to make everybody else except it but the truth is most people don't give a shit if they are fat. Most people just want these mouthy fat girls to simply shut the fuck up. This is for them and other land whales and pork beasts who for whatever silly reason want to abandon the fat lifestyle.



A good way to remain fat is to remain ignorant when it comes to basic nutrition. Blissful ignorance is the key to remaining fat. The less you know the better. Since most people who want to lose weight are fat girls I will present numbers that are appropriate for facts. The USDA recommends the average woman who is moderately active consume 2000 cal per day. If a woman eats 2000 cal a day the most weight she can maintain is about 135 pounds. As you can see it takes a lot of serious eating to even get into the 200 pound range. With today's food scape it's pretty easy to get a lot of calories in the foods you eat. Luckily for the gaining glutton today's food has an engineer especially for gaining and maintaining. This does not put the loser in good stead for losing and maintaining a low body weight and lean body mass.

Eat less and move more... but eat MORE food!

Eating less calories and burning more calories than you consume will result in weight loss. A lot of fat girl dieters like to try to deny this as they retreat back into their angry fat girl mindset and the lies of the old fat acceptance movement. Fat girls who don't want to be fat still love food so it behooves them to either like being fat or change their palates and their appetites.


An enemy to the gainer is a friend to the loser.

One of the biggest enemies the gainer is dietary fiber. Fiber when it enters a digestive system becomes a space hog. Eating a diet high in fiber combined with a lot of water can cause a gainer to feel full. The reason that they feel full is because they are full but they are full of extremely low-calorie food it could be an hour or more before the stomach empties and their hungry again. A gainers biggest mistake can be the loser's greatest triumph. Perhaps the biggest enemy to the gainer is lean protein. Lean protein can spell disaster for a gainer. Lean protein causes the stomach to release a hormone called CKK when it comes to appetite CKK is a kill switch. When the CKK hormone kicks in it's like a punch to the gut from Heavyweight boxer Iron Mike Tyson. You won't want to eat for hours.

Here is a sample page of the food journal.

Sunday

12 AM  Midnight Snack  3 slices of  pizza extra cheese and sausage 400 calories 16 oz  creme soda 200 calories.

_______________________________________________________________________

12:15 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________

12:30 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
12:45 AM _________________________________________________________________ 
_______________________________________________________________________
1 AM _____________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Skip to breakfast

9:00 AM Fried eggs, 4 slices Texas toast, 1/2 pound of  bacon, 6 links sausage, 12 oz OJ, 3 cups coffee extra cream and sugar, Total calories 2189___________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________


Mid morning snack

10:30 AM 4 Krispy Creme Donuts, Tripple Carmel Latte, Total calories 700____________
_________________________________________________________________________

Lunch

12:00 PM 3 double cheese burgers, Large Shake, Large fries, XL Coke, 4  hot apple pies Total calories  2900 ________________________________________________________________

Post Lunch Snack 1:30 PM 16 oz Mountain Dew, Bag of Doritos, candy bar Total calories 700
____________________________________________________________________________


I think you get the idea.

Eat your way fat or eat your way thin. By making substitutes a person hell-bent on getting to and maintaining a low body weight can do it with relative ease but by the same token again are can easily and steadily pack on the pounds and become a walking or rolling flabalanche he or she has always dreamed of being.

Why Fat Acceptance Has Failed

For anyone who thinks that the FA movement has been a success I have a bridge in Brooklyn that may interest you. What percentage of the fat and obese US population is a member of the FA movement. Is it one percent? NOPE! Is it .5%? Nope it's lower than that. How about .1%? WRONG! Maybe it's .01%? Not even close? According to the data there are less than 10,000 members of the FA movement in he US. There are three "major" groups, NAAFA, ISAA and Bigger Fatter Blog aka New American Fat Acceptance Movement or NAFAM.

NAAFA has been around for over forty years and still nobody takes them seriously. They have been the go to source for the mainstream media to contact when they are presenting a story about obesity or size discrimination but even that is changing because today Fat Bastard and Bigger Fatter Blog is rapidly becoming the go to source on all things fat and it has all happened as a result of the humble blog spot blog. There is a saying in advertising; "It's not the media, it's the message" In a few short years Fat Bastard, Bigger Fatter Blog and its contributors like Rev BLA, Teddy Bear, Belly Boy, The Chef, Rotunda Hindenberg and other too many to mention have sent that message worldwide but more about that later.

Why after over forty years has NAAFA failed to reach the growing legions of lard?

As the waistlines and gluttony of Americans continue to grow with no end is site the size of the fat acceptance movement continues to shrink. Remember when I said it's not the media but rather the message? Fatlings are not buying the NAAFA brand because they know it is bullshit and more than that it is an insult to the intelligence fatlings everywhere.

The biggest flaw in the NAAFA message is the denial of the laws of physics. More specifically it is their denial of the gluttony/obesity connection. I think if one of their heroes suck Paul Campos, Kelly Bliss or Linda Bacon told them that there earth was flat they'd believe. In fact there are more flat Earthers that there are people who take NAAFA seriously. Perhaps that is because the flat Earthers have more credibility.

NAAFA style Fat Acceptance is an all girls club.

That would be fine but there are more overweight men than women. Men are bigger gluttons and there are more of them but men are woefully under represented in today's out dated and silly FA movement. Maybe NAAFA should change its name to NAAFAG. or National Association of Angry Fat American Girls because that's what they are. The NAAFIAN lie a lot and one lie they have told is that Fat Bastard is a misogynist because he has been critical of the fat feminist invasion of the FA movement. Like all straight men Fat Bastard loves lesbians. In fact girl on girl action is his favorite form of porn albeit they are usually skinny chicks.

Fat Bastard loves women. His stance against WLS is very pro woman because most WLS victims are fat girls.

NAAFA's anti diet stance

Susan Power: Lesbian, Feminist, Nutritionist, Weight Loss Guru and no Fat Bastard you can't convert her even with your "educated" tongue.

To NAAFA dieting is a mortal sin and people like Richard Simmons, Jenny Craig, MeMe Roth and Susan Powter are evil incarnate. Susan Powter must really throw them for a loop because Susan Powter is a rug munching man hating feminist just like them with the only difference being is Susan Powter is not a glutton.

Fat people do go on weight loss diets and lose weight. Fat Bastard himself has lost weight and maintained that weight loss for over a year with no effort. NAAFA and site like Big Fat Blog will not allow any diet talk.... AND they call MeMe Roth a Nazi? Not allowing diet talk is like having a church that won't let in sinners. What do they fear? If their arguments were sound you'd think that they would relish the opportunity to exploit these teaching moments.

The exclusion of feederism and the hypocrisy

For a long time the leading feederism site Dimensions Magazine and NAAFA were joined at the hip as well as the genitals. This was probably the golden age of fat acceptance but NAAFA, bowing to the even angrier man hating rug munching fat feminists pressured NAAFA to condemn feederism and fat female heterosexuality. The feederism movement is growing in leaps and bound with very busy sites popping up all over the world. The same cannot be said about the fat acceptance movement which remains in a steep nosedive.

Feederism and fat acceptance belong together. Feederism is a pillar of real fat acceptance. The celebration of gluttony is another pillar. If you want to read rational and intelligent discussions of fat acceptance you can find them here on Bigger Fatter Blog or on Dimensions Magazine. If you go to sites like Big Fat Blog or Fierce Freethinking Fatties all you will read is the same tired malingering, stale arguments and dishonesty that has been the hallmark of NAAFA and its dwindling loony membership.

Real Women Have Curves?

Talk about misogyny! Sheeeesh! Not only is that statement chauvinistic and demeaning to all women it's not even true because if it were true Kelly Bliss would not be a real woman. She'd be a refrigerator with legs and a fat balding head.


Curves or a refrigerator with legs and a head showing male pattern baldness? You tell me?




MeMe Roth on the other hand has some dangerous curves.

I often wonder is MeMe Roth were a man instead of a gorgeous woman if the angry fat girls would be so hateful, vile and catty when talking about her. Dr Oz also talks about the gluttony/obesity connection, childhood obesity and gluttony and the heath consequences to those who choose a gluttonous lifestyle. Fat girls probably get all hot over a skinny guy like Dr Oz. Fat girls see a woman like MeMe Roth and they see red. They never attack MeMe's message and if they gave it some thought they would have some valid arguments but instead they attack MeMe personally. That sort of demagoguery is bad to fat people and bad for the FA movement.

Deep down these fat girls know that MeMe Roth is woman men want to see and the woman that most fat girls including them want to be, so they hate her. She reminds them over everything they can never be such as educated, desirable and classy.

HAES Out FATT In!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with HAES; it is a twisted sophistry of the old NAAFA style fat acceptance movement and it means Health At Every Size. We all know that's bullshit. HAES was started by Linda Bacon PhD and in her case PhD stands for Piled Higher and Deeper.


Linda Bacon PhD and proponent of HAES

Why is HAES bullshit?

It's really pretty simple.You can't be healthy by eating unhealthy food and you can't get fat if all you eat is healthy food. The last part needs some explaining so I will use CG Brady's Subway sandwich analogy. A footlong veggie Subway submarine sandwich contains about 500 calories. It would take four of them just to maintain 140 pounds of body weight on a sedentary woman. Fatlings are simply too lazy to do all that chewing and if they exercised as Linda Bacon suggests they would need at least five!

F.A.T.T. means Food All The Time.

Fake Food

Real Food

First, we need to use the fatling's definition of food. Most fruits and all vegetables do not fit the fatling's definition of food. To a fatling vegetables are what food eats. There are exceptions like beer, wine, corn chips and fries but in their raw and unprocessed state fruits and vegetables are not considered palatable food by most fatlings.

Food All The Time or FATT simply means to eat all the time which very much like the Grazenhiemer method with the exception that FATT is not just for gaining but it is also for maintaining. When the glutton their FSP or Food Saturation Point the are at their maintenance level. People Jennifer Portnick, Kelly Bliss and Linda Bacon erroneously refer to this as a fatling's metabolic set point but in reality, it is the FSP or Food Saturation Point.


HAES advocate Kelly Bliss


HAES advocate Jennifer Portnick


FATT advocate Fat Bastard

My advice to all you reluctant gluttons out there is to get FATT and get fat.

NOTE: FATT is pretty much like EATT or Eat All The Time aka The Grazenhiemer Method.

UPDATE! I, Fat Bastard am in negotiations with Kelly Bliss. She's the HAES and fat & fit advocate who goes on news shows and gets spanked soundly by MeMe Roth. I would love to spank MeMe Roth but that's another story. I sent Kelly Bliss the following missive:

Let's break this down into objective and irrefutable reality.

Fat people's bodies are not defying the laws of physics. Here is an example. The most weight a sedentary woman can maintain on 2000 calories a day is 140 lbs there are no genetic or metabolic glitches that can change that.I know that the diet industry prattles on about boosting one's metabolism but that is mostly a myth. The truth is the most the basal metabolic rate can vary is in individuals of the same age weight and gender is 35 calories a day. That is cold hard science and that proof is immutable.

Obese people are not healthy. If we exercise we will be less unhealthy. Caloric poisoning has many consequences. Just the toll excess weight take on the joints is devastating. Many of us have sleep apnea. Many of us have enlarged hearts and diabetes and exercise will not cure that.

Arguing that being fat is not unhealthy for most people is absurd. Fat people know that. We know it's absurd.

Bigger Fatter Blog represents the New Fat Acceptance. Our philosophy is simple. Gluttony is good. Sure it will shorten our lives significantly but quality beats quantity every time. We fatlings love food above all else and it is high time we admit and celebrate it.

It was very disheartening watching our nemesis MeMe Roth handle you and Joy Nash on Fox. She held back. I have a wicked crush on MeMe. As you probably know it's very difficult if not impossible for a really fat guy to have sex with a really fat girl. Thank Belly God for internet porn! LOL That is why women who look like MeMe appeal to a lummox like me. Also, skinny women have far lower "self-esteem"  than fat ones. That's why the are skinny. If you don't believe me just read the stuff those pro-ana women write on their blogs. The love me, Fat Bastard and they come to my blog to find balance.

You have good math skills. Here are the numbers for a sedentary woman age 30.

    * Resting (basal) metabolic rate: 1357 calories per day
    * Typical daily activities: 678 calories per day

    * Total calories burned: 2036 per day

Kelly, the fat acceptance movement need a rooster in the hen house. NAAFA is a joke. Even fat people make fun of them. You would think after 40 years they would have educated everyone by now.

You are pushing the idea that health can be achieved at ANY size. That can't even pass the giggle test. The body has weight limits.

I have challenged MeMe Roth in the next Boston Marathon. I will beat her. I have a modified Jazzy Powerchair. She'll be eating my dust and whiffing my fat man musk. AND..when I cross the finish line way before her I will turn around and lick her up and let her ride in style on my big soft belly.


Yours in fat, 


Fat Bastard

UPDATE NUMBER TWO:

Because I don't have Kelly's permission to publish her missives to me I will only publish what I have written to here and ask the BFB readers to read between the lines and draw their own conclusions. Let is suffice to say that Miss Bliss is not ready to accept the immutable reality that all fatlings are gluttons. This denial of the obesity gluttony connection by the heavyweights in the fat acceptance movement has been the main reason why the movement has sputtered for years. The only way to liberate fatlings is to let them know that GLUTTONY IS GOOD!



Miss Bliss,

Drop the wounded fat girl act and phony moral outrage and look up the meaning of the word pathological as well as the last part of that word which is logical. Meme Roth kicked your butt and she's a friggin zealot but she's honest and factual.

Why are you denying the science? If men at 2500 calories a day the most they could weigh is about 155 pounds and if women ate 2000 a day the most they could weigh is 140. MeMe knows this scientific certainly and I think you know it as well. If you two debate again and she brings out that fact it will be game sat and match for you and the FA movement and HAES. I don't know why she hasn't checkmated your logical fallacies.

I would like to invite both you and MeMe to Bigger Fatter Blog to hash this point out once and for all. 

We need to cut through the histrionics surrounding obesity and gluttony and stick to the science. Gluttony is the cause of obesity and you and I both know it. Some people see gluttony as a moral failing but even the Bible which hates everything says that God loves fat and gluttonous people. Here is the supporting scripture that I use when people pass judgment on us fatlings.

What the Bible says about Fat People

First of all, it is important to understand that God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. (He's probably overweight himself.)

    All the fat is the Lord's. -- Leviticus 3:16

Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).

    The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. -- Isaiah 34:6

God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to them to make them nice and fat.

    Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ... Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ... And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. -- Ezekiel 39:17-19

God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.)

    The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 13:4

God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.)

    The liberal soul shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 11:25

If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.

    He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25

Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.

    The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat and flourishing. -- Psalm 92:12-14

Yours in Fat,


Fat Bastard

Reverend Burn aka Reverend Big Lard Ass Developer of EATT and the Grazenhiemer Method

NOTE: Only truly faithful fatlings are able to see the image of Big Lard Ass

We at Bigger Fatter Blog will be posting more tips and tricks on how to incorporate F.A.T.T. into your life so become a follower of Fat Bastard's Bigger Fatter Blog so that you can learn more. Special guests like Proud Plumpette, The Chef, Dr, Gerald "Teddy" Bear, Belly Boy, and the Rev Big Lard Ass with be offering their expert advice on how you can make FATT part of your life.