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Is Obesity A Choice?

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Fat Girls With Smelly Crotches Ask Fat Bastardo For Help



Fat Becky asks: Fat Bastardo, why do us fat women still smell after taking a shower, and soaping out curly cues, and butt, and it still stinks after you put panties on. And no I'm not talking about infection or anything. I think it's the way we are designed to smell down there, right? 


Fat Bastardo: WRONG! I am not going to sugar coat this because you will end up trying to eat that too. You have Swamp Crotch! Like a lot of fat girls you probably can't reach your crotch because your panniculus aka meat skirt is blocking access  is also stopping the water from your shower head from reaching it and washing away all that "fromunda" cheese. That is what is causing the foul odor and why so many of you fat girls smell like a shrimp boat and pig shit on a 100 degree August day.

Slender women rarely have this problem.

Showers don't work well for fat girls. You have two or three options:

Dogs like stinky things: See if you can find a hungry skinny dog (I'm not talking about a fat admirer) to lick you clean and adopt it as a pet. Dogs have cleaner mouths than humans. DO NOT over feed that dog because then he will prefer Dortios and cheese dip to your crotch. Only a hungry dog or a fat admirer will lick a stinky crotch.

Get a hot tub and add some extra disinfectant. Many feeders and fat admirers have their BBW's soak in a hot tub and allow the antimicrobial water to clean things up before they pork them.

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Shit eating dogs are quite common and quite economical because in theory you only have to feed them once. And shit eating dogs love eating cat turds for the crunch and the fishy scent and flavor.


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Try a bidet and a butt wand. That funky smell is caused by your inability to wipe your butt after you take a pinch a loaf. Feces are getting into your vagina and causing a real stink.


As a preventative measure you need to get air circulation down there. Since you spend most of your time sitting there is no air getting to that yeasty maw of yours. Spend time sitting on the toilet so that air can circulate like in the case of the lovely BBW in the above Youtube clip Sittin on Toilet.

Slender women giving this sleeping dog a bone!