Monday, January 5, 2009

Fat Bastard's Heart Attack

Teddy Bear, my fabulous fat friend and all the other faithful readers of Bigger Fatter Blog sorry I have been unavailable. Fat Bastard my friend and blog partner has suffered a mild cardiac event. I received a frantic call for Fat Bastard's sister letting me know that Fat Bastard we in the ER at out local hospital for severe chest pains and shortness of breath. His EKG and blood tests revealed that Fat Bastard had a cardiac event. The found blockages in two of his arteries

Fat Bastard is doing fine. They had to Roto Rooter one artery and put a stent in another. There was minimal damage to his heart muscle. He came through that procedure with flying colors. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief. Fat Bastard is not doing well emotionally. You know how those type A large and in charge grizzly bears can be. He nearly hit the ceiling when his doctor mentioned dieting. He was fit to be tied when the doctor suggested gastric bypass surgery. It was not pretty.

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http://www.daviddarling.info/images/human_heart_rear_view.jpg

The good news is Fat Bastard is OK. There is only minor damage to his heart. He is home but his spirits are low. Keep him in your prayers.

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Fat Bastard in the ER in great distress Fat Bastard being prepped by fat friendly tech. Notice fat friendly chair

20 comments:

Big Fat Heretic said...

Let me be the very first to wish Fat Bastard the very best during his recovery from his recent heart attack.

I'm glad that it was only a mild one and not more severe.

Actually, people who are obese actually have a much better chance of recovery, thus the Obesity Paradox.

The Obesity Paradox goes something like this. . . . .

Being obese increases the odds of having a heart attack. The risk is higher than for people who are not overweight or thin.

But on the other hand, when an obese person has a heard attack, his/her chances of survival is much better than it is for a thin or average size person.

====================

Obesity Paradox Research

In 2001, A. Mosterd and colleagues from the Netherlands studied the prognosis of patients diagnosed with heart failure. They did statistical analyses on more than 5,000 patients, some of whom had heart failure. They found that patients with low BMIs and low blood pressure had more in-hospital deaths than patients with higher BMIs. The researchers claimed that their discoveries supported similar findings from a 1993 study in Massachusetts, and since 2001, at least eight studies have supported the findings. So, even though obesity is a well-known risk factor for heart failure and would be expected to cause problems for obese heart-failure patients, it seems that the opposite could be true.

The obesity paradox extends to other conditions besides heart failure. Patients with chronic kidney disease most often undergo hemodialysis, where a machine filters impurities out of the blood, and dialysis. About 20 percent of dialysis patients die each year from cardiovascular complications. Studies by researchers at UCLA Medical Center have shown that dialysis patients with higher BMIs have a better chance of survival than those with lower BMIs [source: Kalantar-Zadeh].­

Statistical Analyses
It is important to note that in all of the reported studies, the obesity paradox has been discovered using statistical analyses of large databases. This reveals associations between factors after the fact, but it doesn't demonstrate cause and effect. This can only be done in well-designed animal studies or clinical trials where variables can be better controlled.­

­To summarize, the obesity paradox goes something like this. Obesity is a major risk factor for cardiovascular disease (like hypertension, congestive heart failure, coronary artery disease) and chronic renal disease. However, in patients with these chronic diseases, it appears that obesity is associated with better survival. If this finding is actually true, it could have important implications for how physicians treat patients with chronic diseases. Doctors could conceivably stop putting patients on diets or recommending that they lose weight.

=======================

Anyway, it appears that obese people have a better chance of surviving heart failure than thin people. Yes, your odds of getting it is greater, but your odds of surviving it is also greater.

Anyway, tell Fat Bastard the I wish him the very best, and my prayers are with him.

Mike Hunt said...

I will pass this info onto Fat Bastard along with your heart felt sympathy.

I also think you and Fat Bastard are two very different personality types. Fat Bastard is very tightly wound. He is a classic Type A personality. Add that to his apple shape and his frustration over not getting laid and he is just a bundle of raw nerves.

You Teddy, seem like a mellow guy. You embrace your impotence and the emasculating effects of obesity. You also have that pear shape combined with low testosterone from the hypo-gonadism your risk of a fatal heart attack is much much lower than poor old Fat Bastard. He needs to borrow some of your serenity.

It is the classic teddy bear VS grizzly bear scenario. Do you think if Fat Bastard were chemically castrated he would be serene and mellow like you?

I like Fat Bastard the way he is. He's a large and in charge guy. He is an aggressive alpha bear. I don't know if he would be happy being a teddy. I would really appreciate your insight on this.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Proud FA said...

"I will pass this info onto Fat Bastard along with your heart felt sympathy.

I also think you and Fat Bastard are two very different personality types. Fat Bastard is very tightly wound. He is a classic Type A personality. Add that to his apple shape and his frustration over not getting laid and he is just a bundle of raw nerves.

You Teddy, seem like a mellow guy. You embrace your impotence and the emasculating effects of obesity. You also have that pear shape combined with low testosterone from the hypo-gonadism your risk of a fatal heart attack is much much lower than poor old Fat Bastard. He needs to borrow some of your serenity."

Thank you very much Proud FA.

Yes, I have noticed that guys who are apple-shaped do tend to be more aggressive. A guy who is apple-shaped is usually broad in the chest and shoulders, narrow in the hips, with love-handles that are wider than the hips, and a great big upper belly that hangs down over the belt, causing one's pants to slide halfway down on the ass.

Most apple-shaped guys have huge beer bellies and small butts and some even have skinny legs, yet they can be massively obese in the upper body, and having to carry all the upper body fat with their skinny legs.

For some reason, most apple-shaped guys have the more aggressive Type A personality. They like to be large and in charge, and they tend to be more Macho.

Having the Type A personality puts one at a higher risk of having a heart attack, fat or skinny, the Type A personality is a risk factor, and I have even known skinny guys who had heart attacks because of their aggressive Type A personalities.

As for me, I'm only slightly pear-shaped, more like proportional, but still slightly pear-shaped because my hips are bigger around than my chest and waist, and I have big thighs.

Chest 56 inches, waist 64 inches, hips 70 inches, and thighs 36 inches.

The fat on the lower body, hips, butt, and thighs tends to store up more of the omega 3 fatty acids which is actually god for the heart and the brain, while upper-body fat tends to store up more of the Omega 6 fatty acids which is another risk factor.

So, guys who are apple-shaped need to eat more fish to get the good Omega 3 fatty acids, and thus, lower their risk of heart disease.

But as I have said before, that although being apple-shaped is more dangerous, it is also a lot more fun, because your shirts won't cover your great big round belly, and your pants slide halfway down on your ass, and you get to go out in public, showing off your bellybutton and butt-crack, and mooning everybody around you.

So, in some ways, I envy guys who are apple-shaped.

But for health reasons, I'm glad I'm more pear-shaped, because I like the more effeminate look, and the way my lower-belly fat below the belt hangs down over my shrunken penis. I like the way it feels, not being to get it up, and become more peaceful and calm and my testosterone levels go down.

Anyway, I don't think that Fat Bastard would go for chemical castration. It would take away his ability to get it up. He prefers being the more Macho and large and in charge type of guy.

But since he carries most of his fat on his upper body, he'll have to take more precautions to avoid any more heart attacks. Tell him to eat lots of fish.

That will help to add more years to his life so the he'll have more years to enjoy his apple-shaped body.

Fat Bastardo said...

Thank you so much for your kind words Teddy and Proud FA. This has been quite an ordeal. I actually lost my appetite for a few days due to the side effects of the medication they had me on during my angioplasty and stent procedures. This gnarly of grizzly bear made up for it. I was famished when I woke up today so I treated myself to a big breakfast. I had 6 eggs scrambled with with heavy cream instead of milk, hot chocolate, 6 slices toast with peanut butter and jelly, a pound of bacon and a few donuts. YUM!!!! It tasted great and boy was it satisfying. YUM! YUM! YUM! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD Glorious Food!

Right now I am eating a toasted cheese sandwich and drinking a 64 oz bottle of grape soda. I hear a big box of Famous Amos cookies beckoning me......Fat Bastard, I need you to devour me.

I am still a bit under the weather but a good meal always makes things brighter. I will eat supper at about 6. I'm in the mood for a pizza with extra sausage cheese and pepperoni MMMMMMMMMMMM and some wings and a chocolate sundae with marshmallow fluff. YUM! I can't wait!

CG Brady said...

Ditto Fat Bastard! Don't let some minor heart attack and some alarmist doctors wreck your lifestyle. I get this you need to lose weight crap from them all the time. They just need to shut up and give me my meds.

The age of the fatling is here. I love the fact that I am part of the people who are ushering in a new age. We are indeed pioneers ushering in the dawn of another age. It is sooooooooooooo exciting. HOORAY FOR US!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Balltungo said...

"Ditto Fat Bastard! Don't let some minor heart attack and some alarmist doctors wreck your lifestyle. I get this you need to lose weight crap from them all the time. They just need to shut up and give me my meds.

The age of the fatling is here. I love the fact that I am part of the people who are ushering in a new age. We are indeed pioneers ushering in the dawn of another age. It is sooooooooooooo exciting. HOORAY FOR US"

Yes, very true. Obesity is on the rise all over the world now. It has gotten to the point where there are more obese people on this planet than there are starving people, and the numbers of obese people continue to go up while the number of starving people continues to go down as more and more of them also join the ever swelling ranks of the obese.

By the year 2100, there will be no thin people or even "normal" sized people any more. Everybody will be fat. A man who is 5 ft 9 in and weighs 370 pounds and a woman who is 5 ft 6 in and weighs 340 pounds will be considered "normal" weight, and any adult less then 300 pounds will be called thin!

Only people who weigh at least 500 pounds will be called "chubby" and people over 600 pounds will be called nice and plump. People won't be called "fat" until they are at least 800 pounds, and a thousand pounds will then be called "borderline" obesity. To be considered obese, one would have to weigh about three/quarter ton or 1,500 pounds. Only then you will be called obese.

Also, we will become too fat to fight in any more wars, and the armies will be disbanded.

Obesity will bring about world peace.

Fat Bastardo said...

I share your enthusiasm but there will be a few problems. The biggest one will be gravity. Reproduction will be a problem and we will still need drones like Proud FA to impregnate our women. We also will need to solve the obesity and birth defect problem. The rate of autism has climbed along with the obesity rate. Until that is solved we may have to cull autistic children. They will be a huge burden and they will not be able to serve us.

The promotion of obesity is the promotion of world peace. Fat women would make good soldiers because they are so full of hormonal rage. There still may be wars but I suspect they will be done by remote control and if there s one thing we fatlings can do and that is work the remote control.

We may still need stick people but we will make them second class citizens. It is already heading that way now and that makes me happy as hell.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Fat Bastard said...

"I share your enthusiasm but there will be a few problems. The biggest one will be gravity. Reproduction will be a problem and we will still need drones like Proud FA to impregnate our women. We also will need to solve the obesity and birth defect problem. The rate of autism has climbed along with the obesity rate. Until that is solved we may have to cull autistic children. They will be a huge burden and they will not be able to serve us.

The promotion of obesity is the promotion of world peace. Fat women would make good soldiers because they are so full of hormonal rage. There still may be wars but I suspect they will be done by remote control and if there s one thing we fatlings can do and that is work the remote control.

We may still need stick people but we will make them second class citizens. It is already heading that way now and that makes me happy as hell."

Well, I'm not worried about gravity. In fact, I love the sensation of heaviness when I stand up on my feet.

And as you know, I'm glad I'm sexually impotent because I'm a lazy glutton who only likes to eat and sleep. Sex sounds too much like exercise.

Yes, we will still need thin people or people who are physically fit to serve us.

We pear-shape obese guys will need servants to wipe our butts for us and you apple-shaped obese guys will need someone to follow behind you as your out walking, to pull your pants up when they slide half-way down on your butt.

I envy you apple-shaped guys because you get to go around out in public showing off your bellybutton and butt-crack.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Fat Bastard said...

"I remember being at a bar sitting on a stool and this stick boy put a quarter in my butt cracker. I tried chasing after him but he was long gone. I really wanted to beat his ass. How would you have reacted Teddy?"

Well, since I'm pear-shaped, I wear my pants up around my waist like a fat bitch, so my fat ass is covered.

But if I were apple-shaped with my pants halfway down my ass and showing off my butt-crack, and if some stick-boy were to stick a quarter in my butt-crack, I would be too lazy to run after him.

But then, if I were apple-shaped with all that manly upper-body fat, I might be more Macho and aggressive, but I might still be too lazy to chase after him.

I would probably laugh the whole thing off because I am a jolly fat person.

It would be just one more thing to serve as a reminder of how obese I have become, and I would expect people to make jokes about how I go around showing off my bellybutton and butt-crack.

It probably wouldn't bother me at all, because it would be fun to have such a massive upper-body that I can't keep my pants up, and can't reach around my huge upper-body to pull my pants up.

I would have to have a friend follow behind me when I'm out walking to keep pulling my pant up for me as they keep sliding down on my butt.

So, yes, I think it might be fun!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Also, I forgot to add . . . . .

If I were apple-shaped and going around showing off my bellybutton and butt-crack, and if I were married, I would let my wife rule the house, set down all the rules, and "wear the pants" in my family since I would not be able to keep my own pants from falling down.

Anonymous said...

I bet you have a tough time wiping your ass Teddy Bear.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Harpoon said...

"I bet you have a tough time wiping your ass Teddy Bear."
------------------

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do!

I measure about 70 inches around my hips and butt, and when I'm sitting down, my hips spread out to almost 80 inches around.

So, I have to use a pair of tongs as a toilet paper holder, and it works just fine! Thank you!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Anonymous said...

"You use a pair of tongs to help you reach far enough to wipe your ass?

WOW!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is the funniest thing I have ever read. You are no longer human if you are too fat to wipe your own ass!"
-----------

You know, it's not just us fat people ho have a hard tome reaching back there.

Dwarfs with Achondroplasia, meaning that they have large bodies and very short legs, and short arms, they have a hard time reaching around to wipe, and they also need devices to help them.

Would you say than an Achondroplasic dwarf is not human?

There are all kinds of people on this planet. Some are giants, some are dwarfs, and some are very fat people. We are ALL human beings. We are all God's children!

To say I'm not human just because I'm fat, that is like saying that a dwarf or a giant is not human, or anybody who is different in any way.

It just goes to show just how ignorant and prejudice you are.

Also, another reason I have a hard time reaching behind me is because my legs and arms are kind of short in proportion to my height.

I'm 5 feet 6 inches tall, and with most guys my height, the torso length from shoulder to crotch is about 23 inches and the crotch height, or leg length, is about 32 inches, so normally, the torso length is less then the leg length.

But in my case, my torso length is 30 inches, and my legs are only 26 inches long, so my torso length is greater than my leg length, and I have somewhat shorter arms. It's the way I'm built.

So, because I'm built like a Teddy Bear with a larger body and shorter limbs, I'm just naturally going to be fat like a Teddy Bear, hence my namesake on these forums.

But having a longer torso and shorter limbs does not make me less than human.

If that is the way you think, then you are the most prejudiced and bigoted moron I have even known.

You probably like to burn crosses in people's front yards!

Fat Bastardo said...

Can't we all just get along?

This is not a race thing folks. Anonymous is just playing the macho card. I am a cardiac cripple and Teddy is a sissy boy but WE HAVE BACK UP! Proud FA will tear your head of if you piss him off.

I remember when he was porking this lovely SSBBW who was married to a muscle headed roid monkey. He got into it with Proud FA. This guy was much bigger than Proud FA but you know what they say,"it's not the size of the dog in the fight, It's the size of the fight in the dog" Proud FA is a 150 pounds soaking wet but he is quick as a cat and deceptively strong. He has the endurance of a diesel and that is why the BBWs at the NAAFA conventions fight over him. That is why we book a suite and call it The Pig Pen.

Fat Bastardo said...

All I can say is when this guy went after Proud FA, PFA ended in very quickly and the attacker ended up in a coma.

I would hope that Anonymous would make peace with us. I think what he needs is to be choked out by Proud FA and pancaked by you and me Teddy about 300 times. LOL

Seriously Anonymous, don't be a hater and get of the roids.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous I think you need to eat a pizza or 3 because you really need to chill out and some wings and a 2 liter of pepsi if you did you would be very full and then take a nap and you would not be so angry fat people are sleepy and jolly and we love it you should get all big and fat too because you would also love it

Big Fat Heretic said...

Hey Anonymous!

I think that you really need to have, like, a major attitude adjustment.

I'm still bummed out by that comment you made when you said that I'm "no longer human" if I'm too fat to wipe my own ass.

Now I'm well aware that large beasts such as elephants, hippos, rhinos, horses,pigs, and cows do not wipe themselves.

But as a human being, I have the intelligence to make and use tools to compensate for any physical disability I might have, so I use a pair of tongs as a toilet paper holder, so that I can wipe myself, and there are other personal hygiene devices available for us really large people.

Now I don't care if people want to laugh at me for being such a ridiculous glutton.

I don't even care if people laugh at me because I've become such a great big fat-ass that I have to use a pair of tongs as a tissue paper holder in order to wipe my own butt.

And if in the future, I become so enormously obese, like 800 pounds or more, and will need to get around in a wheelchair, I still won't mind if people laugh at me because I've been such a greedy glutton that I have eaten myself into a wheelchair.

Also, I have a great big soft round belly that is beginning to hang down over my shrunken penis, so I am unable to have erections anymore, or engage in sex anymore, and my penis and testicles have shrunken due to hypo-gonadism, a condition cause my low testosterone levels, and as a result, I have become a sissified obese little wimp!

Go ahead and laugh at that it you like! I don't care!

Yeah! Go ahead and laugh! I don't mind because I also find it amusing myself.

But don't ever say that I'm "not human" anymore.

Despite my being such a lazy fat-ass, and a greedy glutton, I am still a human being.

Yes, I know, the big belly hanging down over the shrunken penis, the big butt that is hard to reach around to wipe, and the eventual possibility of having to get around in a wheelchair, I know that is all brought on by my own gluttony.

Yeah! I know! It serves me right! I'm getting exactly what I deserve for being such a greedy obese little glutton!

So, go ahead at laugh at me for that, because I know I deserve it. Hell, I thinks it's funny too! I also find it amusing! I even laugh at myself for being such a ridiculous glutton.

Like, Ha! Ha! Ha!

Look at the great big fat fat-ass. He can't even wipe his own butt unless he uses a pair of tongs to holed the tissue paper.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Look at him! He's such a greedy glutton that his belly hangs down over his pecker and he can't have sex anymore! And his pecker and his nuts have shrunken, and he's turned into a wimp! Serves him right for being such a greedy obese glutton. He has literally eaten away his own manhood!

And then some time in the future people might say . . .

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Look at that huge obese glutton. He has eaten so much and has become so fat he can't even walk anymore, and needs to use a wheelchair!

And when, and if that time ever comes, when I'm in a wheelchair, and people are laughing at me, I will just laugh along with them, and pat myself on my huge round belly, smiling, with a happy and contented look on my plump round face, and I will enjoy it very much.

You see, I love life! I love to enjoy my life. I enjoy listen to music, looking at works of art, and I love to eat. I derive great pleasure from eating.

I have feelings just like everybody else. I laugh when I'm happy, even laughing at myself because I know I'm ridiculous, and I cry when I'm sad, and I feel pain just like anybody else. In fact, we fat people are actually more sensitive to pain. We feel all pain with greater intensity than most people. So we feel hunger with greater intensity. When we fat people get hungry, it hurts more. And because I'm a sissified wimp who can't tolerate pain, then I can't stand being hungry, so I eat more, because I'm too much of a big sissy to endure the pain of hunger.

So yes, I'm a disgusting greedy and lazy glutton!

But I'm still a human being!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Fat Bastard said...

"You know what Teddy I am in a bad mood. I have one thing to say to Mr "You Make Me Sick" FUCK YOU SKINNY BEAN POLE I HOPE YOU GET RICKETTS."
==========

Yeah, and I hope some great big fat person falls over on top of him and he suffocates under all the flab!

You know, I actually get a big kick out of it, when people insult me for being fat. That is, as long as they don't say I'm not human.

Yeah! I'm a pig, but I'm a human pig-boy!

One day, when I was riding home on the bus, my fat-ass taking up my usual two seats, some rude skinny little anorexic bimbo sitting across the isle from me, she called me a "land whale" which I thought was amusung.

So, I said back to her "You know? I think I shall take that as a complement! I love whales! They are gentle and intelligent creatures! I would much rather be a land whale than to be a land shark! You, on the other hand, you're very mean and aggressive, so you are a land shark!" and one elderly lady who overheard what I said, she turned to me and said "Good for you! I like the way you stood up for yourself!" and a few other passengers nodded their heads in agreement.

So, whenever somebody tries to insult me in public, I just smile, and pat myself on my big round belly, and I rub my belly, and I just sit there and laugh.

When I go out, I want people to see that I'm happy being fat, that I love being fat.

As I sit there in the bus, taking up my usual two seats, my hands rest gently on my big round belly, and sometimes I nod off, with a peaceful and contented look on my chubby face, and I will doze off while riding on the bus. I'm just a happy and sleepy little fatty.

I believe that those skinny little bimbos who like to publicly insult me, they are just jealous of the inner peace and contentment that I have, and they will never know.

Fat Bastardo said...

I think you are right. They are jealous of us. We get treated like royalty as well we should. Obesity and morbid obesity is the new normal now. Soon super morbid obesity will be the new normal and then super super morbid obesity and then ultra supper supper duper obesity will be the new norm.

WE ARE THE MAJORITY and THE MAJORITY RULES!!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Fat Bastard said...

"I think you are right. They are jealous of us. We get treated like royalty as well we should. Obesity and morbid obesity is the new normal now. Soon super morbid obesity will be the new normal and then super super morbid obesity and then ultra supper supper duper obesity will be the new norm.

WE ARE THE MAJORITY and THE MAJORITY RULES!!"
==========

Yeah, Fat Bastard, you sure got that right!

In most text books written back in the 1980s on human biology, the "average" male is about 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighs 175 pounds while the average female is about 5 ft 4 inches tall and weighs 145 pounds.

But according to the latest statistics now, the average height for males and females is still the same, but the average male is now 195 pounds and the average female is 165 pounds, so they are now both about 20 pounds heavier on average than they were back in the 1980s.

Also, according to the latest statistics, there is a much faster rate of increase among those of us with the highest BMIs.

For example, I'm 5 feet 6 inches and 400 pounds, so my BMI is about 64.5 which placed me in the category of super super morbidly obese, and that places me in the 98th percentile, meaning that 98 percent of the population has a BMI less than the 60s.

People who are overweight make up about 65% percent of the total population with about 35% percent being obese.

People like me with a BMI of 60 or more, at the present time we make up 5% percent of the population, but our numbers are doubling every year. People with a BMI between 50 and 60, they make up 10% percent of the population and there numbers are increasing by 90% percent every year, while those with a BMI between 40 and 50, they make up about 20% percent of the population, and their numbers are increasing at a rate of 70% percent every year.

So, the higher the BMI, the lower the percentage of the population we make up, but our numbers are increasing the fastest. Eventually we will make up the majority because, even though at the present time we make up the smallest percent, but because our numbers are increasing the fastest, we will eventually over-take the number of people in the lower BMI categories.

In a couple more centuries, the entire population will become so enormously obese that they will all be bed-fat and immobile, and will need robots to take care of them, just like in the movie Wall-E.

When that time comes, there will be no more wars. We will have world peace.