Alli will make you shit your pants!
The diet industry has been a major FAIL for dieters but it has been highly profitable. There are too many worthless and dangerous diet products to mention. Let's say some lummox like be or Rev Big Lard Ass, Teddy Bear or dare I say Belly Boy were to take alli and one of us cut loose with an involuntary shit storm it could make the oil spill look like a very minor even.
There are not diet products that work. If there were most people today would be thinlings. Gluttony is the cause of obesity. The only person with a cure for gluttony is CG Brady.
Coming soon to Bigger Fatter Blog a review of ABC's new show Huge staring gorgeous girl glutton Nikki Blonsky
Gorgeous Glutton Nikki Blonsky
23 comments:
why do fat girls love dying their hair so much
Dear Fat Bastard,
I think it would be an awesome prank if we put BB on Alli! Oh man, the nursing staff would just go nuts, having to clean all of that up every few hours, only to have to do it again and again.
The nurses are all making the new nurses do the BB cleanup duty, for the most part. The others help out according to a schedule they made. They try to get me to clean it and I just can't even consider doing that. They're getting paid to do it, it's part of their job, y'know?
I am wondering what things will be like in 40 years, when about 33% of the adult population will weigh 800 lbs or more, 50% will weigh 400 lbs to 799 lbs, 7% will weigh between 200 lbs and 399 lbs, and 20% will weigh under 200 lbs.
Will the medium fatlings voluntarily care for the biggest fatlings? What about the thinlings? We will need them in the military to protect us from being conquered, so there will be less manpower available to bathe, clean, and massage the biggest fatlings, as well as to provide for their... other needs. Y'all know what I'm talkin' 'bout. BB is lonely, but he has nobody to comfort him in that way, but oh well, he at least has food.
Anyway, I think it's weird that Alli tells you to wear dark pants at work. "Hey everybody, it smells like shit in here. Did someone take a dump? Larry, was it you?" And Larry goes "Naw man, I'm wearing brown pants."
They should just recommend that you wear an adult diaper. Wouldn't that be better, if you're expecting to shit yourself?
Also, what's with this sanctimonious BS about "might want to" and soforth? Are they saying some people WON'T crap themselves? Because as I understand it, Alli basically just blocks a lot of your fats from being absorbed, and thus, you block out lots of calories. This would be the BANE of Proud FA, because it cuts out the heart of his "fat fattens best" strategy.
So the unabsorbed fats, they gotta go somewhere. They don't just evaporate. So they come out the other end- there is nowhere else for them to go. Just like the Olestra potato chips.
Anyway, thanks for sounding the warning bell. Fat Bastard has scouting teams that feed him information- he is not only a glutton for food, but also a glutton for information that can help other fatlings, and the enabling community, as well as the admiring community. It's really the synthesis of those three overlapping groups that makes the New Fat Acceptance Movement what it is today.
The NAAFA movement is basically driven by angry fat women who want to fantasize that they are thin, but then they go "I'm proud of myself being a fatass anyway, and athletic, attractive men with good paying jobs who can attract thin women who are more attractive than us should still choose to be with us even though we have less to offer, and also we won't want to be with fat men because we do not want to settle for less than the best, even though this means we will end up being alone our entire lives." It's a mouthful. Maybe if we gave the NAAFA people some Alli, their crappy rhetoric would be expelled into their depends.
I just hope they're wearing dark pants.
Regards,
Big Lard Ass
I enjoy reading this blog.
One more thing you should know about Alli - Some of the contents in your shit will be orange. As some of the fats are supposedly not being absorbed when taking this product.
I'm actually very much looking forward to Huge, but I'm not a fan of the advertisement they've been doing. Having Nikki standing in a bathing suit, clutching herself as if she's ashamed of her size? I thought the point in this show was to show that you can be confident being a plus size woman. So I'm a little skeptical for now. I'll have to wait to see what the show unfolds.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/28/arts/television/28huge.html
The New York Times did an article on the new fat show "Huge" and recognized feederism as an integral part of Fat Acceptance (which as everyone knows it is).
This is pissing off a lot of the Old Fat Acceptance types still deep in denial, and it's pretty funny to see the reactions.
Actually I guess it is more "gainerism" which is basically another side of the same coin.
The Old FA types just need to finally accept themselves and realize that they just like food like the kids at the fat farm in "Huge."
Maybe then they can finally progress to New FA.
Sorry folks but I have not had internet access as my service went down and being fat and lazy I was too fat and lazy to waddle down to an internet cafe even though they have muffins the size of manhole covers.
Gluttonous George,
Welcome to our humble Bigger Fatter Blog and the new fat acceptance movement.
I saw the first episode of HUGE and I nearly fell in love with the heroine. What a diabolical and sly little piggy she is. OINK OINK OINK. I hope the camp counselors don't break her. I hope she packs on 50 more pounds.
The old Fat Acceptance hags had better get with the program. Fat people love food!
@Big Lard Ass
If you can get a picture of Belly Boy cutting loose after a few Boom Shakka Lakka Burgers and a Mega dose of Alli hat would be great. A bout of explosive diarrhea could create a federal disaster areas and they will have to call people of the Gulf oil spill too put booms around Belly Boy.
When 33% are super mega obese? Necessity being the mother of invention it will lead the the development of anti gravity devices. I have written and article or two about that. If Belly Boy could just float he would require less care and the ravages of his ultra obesity would be nil. Imagine Belly Boy floating over some nasty country in the Middle East and dropping giant turds a forty thousand feet on the enemies of gluttony, capitalism and the American way. Take that Abdul SSSSSSSSSLAT!
Will medium fatlings care for the giant fatlings? YES. They do already but fatlings don't stay medium for very long. The young fatling pups will care for the regal giants but gluttony is contagious and what a wonderful disease to catch, there will need to be thinlings. I wrote an aricel on this blog called save the thinlings. We are going to need hen like the South needed slaves. That is why I allow MeMe Roth to go toe to toe with me with out delivering the knock out punch like I have with the angry fat girls of the old fat acceptance. We need MeMe to be successful if we are to survive and grow even more gluttonous. We need thinlings. If fact if it were not for skinny chicks with low standards and low self-esteem, fat guys like me would never get laid.
As to Alli and leaking liquid poo, Proud FA, would probably keep feeding them till they crapped it all out or maybe he's give them a big soap suds enema for flush it out.
The NAAFA girls are dreadful man haters. The reason they have to go to a NAFFA convention to get laid by fat admirers is because their ugly turn off is not their bodies but they shit that comes out of their mouths/butts.
@ Lindsey I think he show is going to be a big tease of Willamina waffling but deep down she will remain the sly gorgeous gorging girl glutton suffragette they fans expect her to be.
I predict she will seduce the hunk camp counselor and turn him into a fat admirer. Skinny guys like porking fat girls because when you bang them hard the stay in one place and you don't have to stop to pull them back so that they don't bang their heads on the head board.
Proud FA tells me that one can "drill down more" because your up higher so the angle of attack is different.
Anon,
Fat girls fuss with their hair and nails a lot because it's the only part of them that isn't fat. OINK!
Some men are grossed out by fat girls so fat girls think they can compensate by dying there hair and getting manicure to draw attention away form their fat.
As a former FA I liked the musk of a fat girl but one with a leaky butt from Alli could turn of the most ardent muff diver.
Hey everyone.
I got sad news. Belly Boy told me he never wants to see me again, and he is blaming me for his condition. I have never seen him so angry before, and I thought in a few days he would cool off, but he hasn't. So I don't think I will be able to give you updates about him except for what I hear through others.
He is ordering in food to the hospital to keep his calorie level up, but he plans to lose weight and eventually become an Olympic athlete or Para-Olympic athlete since his is missing a foot. I feel he is being unrealistic, and that a hedonistic early death due to over-eating is his only option.
He may have had a mini-stroke again, because he is acting mean to me. He also left the Church of the Faedari, forever.
This is devastating news for me. It's going to be a huge struggle for me- I felt like I was eating vicariously through BB, and now I can't do that anymore and it is going to intensify my cravings.
It's a good thing my acolyte is here to keep me company.
Regards,
Big Lard Ass
As a former FA I liked the musk of a fat girl but one with a leaky butt from Alli could turn of the most ardent muff diver.
July 2, 2010 7:37 PM
Anonymous Big Lard Ass said...
Hey everyone.
I got sad news. Belly Boy told me he never wants to see me again, and he is blaming me for his condition. I have never seen him so angry before, and I thought in a few days he would cool off, but he hasn't. So I don't think I will be able to give you updates about him except for what I hear through others.
He is ordering in food to the hospital to keep his calorie level up, but he plans to lose weight and eventually become an Olympic athlete or Para-Olympic athlete since his is missing a foot. I feel he is being unrealistic, and that a hedonistic early death due to over-eating is his only option.
He may have had a mini-stroke again, because he is acting mean to me. He also left the Church of the Faedari, forever.
This is devastating news for me. It's going to be a huge struggle for me- I felt like I was eating vicariously through BB, and now I can't do that anymore and it is going to intensify my cravings.
It's a good thing my acolyte is here to keep me company.
Regards,
Big Lard Ass
***********************************
They say that no good deed unpunished and they are right, who ever they are. You have treated Belly Boy like a king and got a cold hard slap for your efforts but don't blame Belly Boy for he knows not what he is doing. They have him doped up and are brain washing him. I suspect they have a hidden camera in his room and they have seen you bringing him food.
Belly Boy has to make the choice to lose weight freely without pressure and coercion.
Guys that get as fat as Belly Boy never lose the weight and keep it off. He will be miserable if he isn't feeding his face. Food is his true love. While his life may be longer if he loses weight but he will be miserable.
The doctors want to keep him alive and milk him like a cash cow.
Alli is awful stuff. I causes intestinal bleeding.
Hey everybody, it's Belly Boy here.
Yes, that's right, I have computer access now. I have a belly top computer now, and the hospital has wi-fi, so I can cruise the internet and even visit the Bigger Fatter Blog right from my bariatric hospital bed.
I had a falling out with the Great Evil One, who you call Big Lard Ass. I call him the Big Ass Hole. He is the one who convinced me to go for the world weight record, and told me it would be glamorous and that it would be cool, and now that I have achieved it, it's nothing like what I thought it would be.
I am going to get into Olympic athlete shape within the next few months probably, because that is how dedicated I am. It's going to be the world's greatest story. I am going to go on a four month fast where I will just live off of my fat reserves, and then I will be thin at the end of my fast.
You're going to see, I am going to become thin and strong, and then I'm gonna kick Big Lard Ass's Big Lard Ass in an officially sanctioned boxing match.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, YOU THINK I'M TOO FAT. BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I THINK I'M ALL THAT. BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, GONNA LOSE A LOTTA WEIGHT. BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA YOU CAN'T ESCAPE YOUR FATE. CUZ I'M A FAT MAN, BUT I'M A BIG MAN, GONNA MAKE THE RIGHT PLAN, AIN'T GONNA GO OUT LIKE THAT EATIN' BURGERS AND FRIES, AIN'T GONNA DO IT MAN I CAN'T TAKE ALL YOUR LIES.
Belly Boy
Dear Belly Boy,
You really are a boy. Just a pathetic, fat, insecure loser. If you go on a 4 month fast you will not survive it. You are going to starve to death if you do that, but you will still be fat when you die. You won't get enough nutrients from just your fat, you fool.
I have done a lot for you, feeding and caring for you for many weeks on end, out of my own pocket, asking for nothing in return. And then suddenly you turn your gigantic back on me and say that you want nothing more to do with me. Fine. If that's the way you want it, then so be it.
But remember that you are always going to be fat. Even if you lost 1,000 lbs you would still weigh about 700 lbs, so face it, you're always going to be fat. What did you think was going to happen, as you kept on gaining and gaining without a care in the world? Did you think you would ever be able to have a normal life weighing what you weigh? No.
I am done with you. We are not going to box, we're not going to have anything to do with each other. If I boxed you that would not be fair, and no state boxing commission would ever give you a boxing license because you are just too fat, and immobile, and unhealthy. You would just be a freakshow. Maybe they would license you in a third world country somewhere just for the laughs. But I will take no part in it.
Regards,
Big Lard Ass
P.S. I am going to rename all of the food items that I named after you, if that is what I decide to do.
Belly Boy and Rev,
I think I need to spank the two of you. It breaks my heart to see fatlings fighting. This is NOT NAAFA!!
First off Belly Boy I will start with you. The most Reverend Big Lardass was helping you in your quest to be fat and gluttonous and being that obesity and gluttony are good he thought he was helping you. Sure obesity are gluttony have a down side and as BFB has pointed out obesity is not for everyone. You changed your mind about wanting to be gluttonous and obese... or at least you think you changed your mind. BFB respects what ever you do. If you want to be an Olympic athlete you can still be fat as hell.
You could be a goalie for the ice hockey team and as big as you are you can block the whole net. The same thing goes for water polo.
If you got skinny and fought the Rev he'd pummel you.
The Rev has been a good friend and minister to you. He and I named many tasty treats after you.
Again, BB we will respect what ever you do regarding your weight but we will not tolerate you slandering the New FA's spiritual leader. The Rev is like our pontiff. Speak of him with reverence and respect.
@ Rev,
Please keep in mind that Belly Boy may be drugged and brainwashed. I smell MeMe Roth and I am not just having a fat boy masturbatory fantasy. She could be behind this or maybe it is that sweet boy Richard Simmons. Then again, you know BB and this situation better than I do. You may want to contact CG and Teddy Bear and get their input. Thinnette thinks BB needs to do some serious non pressured soul searching and I agree.
CG Brady agrees with your nutritional appraisal and suggests that is BB is indeed serious about weight loss he do it in a safer and more gradual manner. BB hating his body will not help things. Thinnette's sister Annamia hated her body until I convinced her that she was in the top 99th percentile of bonable thinlings and now she is happy with her super hot 18 BMI and size zero smokin hot MeMe Roth body.
I hope your tough love approach with BB is the medicine he needs.
Please take time to cool off both of you. You have been frinds too long to end up like this.
To BB and the Rev.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA Stop this fight!
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA You know I'm right!
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA Bury the hatchet!
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA Got an itch gonna scratch it!
I just received a email form CG Brady. Here is a piece of it.
Fat Bastard,
I read with great interest and concern the situation with Belly Boy and while the falling out between Big Lard Ass and Belly Boy is sad my concern is this "fast" Belly Boy is on. He is quite mistaken if he thinks he can "live off his fat".
***********************************
I, Fat Bastard agree with CG on this. CG goes on to say.
Belly Boy is essentially on a ketogenic diet. His cells are running of ketones instead of glucose as his liver is not totally depleted of glycogen, the storage form of glucose. That would be OK but there are two basic problems with that. He WILL develop gall stones and more likely than not they WILL become symptomatic. The other problem is called ketogenic psychosis. That would explain his mood swings and his lashing out at his minister Big Lard Ass. Please tell Belly Boy to stop this nightmare of a weight loss scheme and gradually restrict his calories.
***********************************
There you have it Belly Boy. If you try to starve yourself thin it will either damage you or kill you. If you really want to lose weight and it is totally your idea then go for it but be smart about it. CG Brady is the only successful weight loss coach on the planet. When we discovered him it sent tremors through the fatosphere but after realizing we fatlins need thinlings we no longer view CG's work as a threat.
Hey Everybody, it's Belly Boy here.
I am losing weight, but I started having terrible stomach cramps. I had just been eating lots of celery all day. I have not been losing much weight really, because my drinking seems to have somehow increased itself in order to compensate.
Not only do I have at least 20 drinks per day, I also drink lots of water and some orange juice in my screwdrivers, so I should be getting enough nutrients to support myself. I'm not stupid, I know that I need vitamins and minerals in my diet too, so that's why I switched from beer to mixed drinks with fruit and stuff in them.
As for whether Richard Simmons has helped me at all, I am not going to get into that. There is a reality show being filmed that has chronicled my struggles, but it's probably not going to get put on the air anyway. Anyway, it is time for my next drinking session, where I will have 8 drinks to dull the pain of my fasting.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, YEAH, I LIKE TO EAT
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA BUT I DON'T FEEL COMPLETE
GONNA LOSE 1,500 POUNDS LIKE IT'S ALL THE WAY EASY
GONNA LOOK SO GOOD ALL THE GUYS WILL BE QUEASY
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, IT'S A FACT
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, WE DID MAKE A PACT
BIG LARD ASS BETRAYED ME,
BUT NOW MAYBE,
ONE DAY SOON, ME AND HIM WILL BE TOGETHER, IN A BOXING RING, OR A WATER BED TOGETHER
Belly Boy OUT
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA WHAT YOU SAY?
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA THE REV IS GAY?
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA THE REV'S BEEN KIND.
FRIENDS LIKE REV ARE HARD TO FIND
Rev tells me that you BB have liver cancer caused by alcohol. Proud FA, Thinnette and I, Fat Bastard are keeping you in our thoughts.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA get well soon.
Hi all! Just reading a little into the blog and wanted to drop you a line about the company I'm currently working for per Bally's request so be sure to check it out!Its called Tailor4Less and here is a little background information...
Tailor4Less is an online retailer and custom tailor specializing in fully customizable shirts, suits, and coats for both men and women. We put you in contact with some of the world’s finest tailors to deliver elegance straight to your doorstep, regardless of your location. Simply choose your desired design, enter your measurements and our tailors do the rest; each garment is unique and completely customizable to your individual needs. Our goal is to provide each of our customers with a high level of elegance at an affordable cost. Visit www.Tailor4Less.com/us today and get the best prices offered worldwide.
Dear Tailor4Less,
Hey, it's Belly Boy here. I weigh about 1750 pounds, do you think you could create a suit that would fit me, and maybe even make me look good? Also, how cheap would it be? I need something to wear to formal occasions but I don't want to look like a circus freak.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, YOU POSTED SOME SPAM
BOOM SHAKA LAKKA, I JUST ATE SOME HAM
WITH A SIDE ORDER OF GARLIC FRIES, Y'ALL! OHHH YEAH, THAT'S HOW BELLY BOY LIKES IT! YOU KNOW IT!
E'RYBODY SAY HEYYYAH! (HEYYYAH!)
AIGHT, I'MMA EAT SOME PASTA NOW.
Belly Boy
Boom Shakka Lakka we don't mind spam
Boom Shakka Lakka are you made of ham?
Boom Shakka Lakka let the tailor tail.
And make sharp clothes for a big land whale.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM SHAKKA LAKKA!
@ Tailor 4 Less,
Sadly we cannot write an article about your company because you are not featuring any fat models. While your suits look nice there is no examples of fat guys wearing them.
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