Saturday, December 19, 2009

Glutton: A poem to the glory of gluttony

Glutton by Fat Bastard


http://farm1.static.flickr.com/220/522797885_c6c9582195_o.jpg
G is for the giant portions I eat.

http://www.toonpool.com/user/750/files/glutton_445995.jpg
L is for the lust I have for food

http://www.artsandopinion.com/2006_v5_n3/volume_images/glutton-1.jpg
U is for my uber underbelly



TT is for the teeth that help me chew





O is for my over eating nature


N is for the nastiness of me


Put it all together it spells GLUTTON.



Something that I really love to be.

I hope all my readers enjoyed this poem. I'm happy top report that my appetite is slowly returning and soon I will be back to my piggy proportions soon. This will be a wonderful journey in unbridled food lust or as the crazy cunts in the FA movement say HAES (Health At Every Size). Who's going to me the first reader to give me an OINK!

12 comments:

Fat Bastardo said...

While I am happy that soon I will be in hyper glutton mode and I will get even fatter I'm not really pleased to be losing all that muscle and becoming a Nancy boy. I'm Fat Bastard! You are a docile Teddy Bear Teddy Bear but I am a cantankerous grizzly bear. You are the thoughtful serene bear while I am a dangerous predator and protector. Nonetheless we two are true heavyweights in the new fat acceptance. We in our own unique ways along with PFA represent the people's fat acceptance. You do it with charm, great intellect and guile while I tend to use the brute force of an H-bomb. Both methods work. Teddy, I don't want to lose my edge and my identity. I really like throwing my weight around and while at times I envy your serenity I crave my grizzly large and in charge aggression more.

PFA thinks he can get me some HGH and some anabolic steroids. With the stent I probably could pump some iron and bulk up with muscle as well as fat but being that I am a lazy greedy glutton I probably won't do that. PFA has promised to crack the whip and there is a Harrdee's right by the gym he goes to. I also tells me that I can complete my work out in about ten minutes. PFA know a lot about training. Also, anabolic steroids make you eat like a pig. Now that I am off my insulin I need something to make me eat like a pig. PFA says I can trade my insulin for some steroids. Then when I reach pig proportions I will need the insulin again between the two I will really pack it on. OINK!

I am not worried about speeding up my metabolism. That will only make me hungrier and that will make me eat more. I see that as a fun challenge. I can go to China Buffet and awe people with my power eating. Maybe I can even win an eating contest. Wouldn't that be something?! HMMMM Maybe one of us should write an article on power eating. Proud FA has some great insights. I am so fortunate to have him as a friend during this trying time. I have at my beck and call the Dean of Feederism and I can go to your blog for inspiration. I will emerge from the abyss because of my support system. OINK!

I have really enjoyed the comment of Big Lard Ass. I love his fattitude. I'd love to sit down with him an polish off a few pizzas, buckets of wings and a few 12 packs and then light our farts. That would be hog heaven.

We along with the entire fatosphere are waiting with baited breath for your next article. PFA would like to see one on female somatypes starting with size zero and going up up up up up to infinity.

I really will have an identity crisis if I become emasculated. I'd lose my edge. I have been a fat bastard all my life. I was a bit of a bully. PFA was a childhood friend and he would get picked on and I would pounce on his enemies and crush them. I recall doing a belly flop on this stick boy who was giving PFA shit and I broke three of his ribs. For me fat = power. Fat = respect. A good big man will beat a good smal man every time. I know that there are those who would say that it is not the size of the dog in the fight but rather it's the size of the fight in the dog but we aren't talking dogs here. We're talking bears and I will always put my money on a wild bear than a puny dog. Or we can use the boar vs dog analogy and in a fight a wild boar would destroy a dog. Come to think of it Big Lard Ass reminds me of a wild boar.

formerfatty said...

I wouldn't worry Fat Bastard. Just practice some Health at Every Size and soon your size and appetite will be back to normal.

Can someone tell me why the "fatosphere" bloggers have such a huge obsession with eating disorders?

I understand that they don't like skinny girls, but there seems to be no middle ground for them between someone who counts calories and someone who is obsessed over weight.

Apparently nutrition labels are a gateway drug to bulimia.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good morning Fat Bastard.

PLEASE, do not mess around with anabolic steroids.

Yes, it may build up your muscles, but it can also cause some shrinkage of the penis and testicles.

Some weight lifters use insulin instead of anabolic steroids, even when they are NOT diabetic, because insulin acts almost like a growth hormone.

But this is also a dangerous practice.

But if you're already diabetic and using insulin, then it's OK to use it to your advantage when lifting weight to build muscles.

When you eat a lot, insulin causes you to gain fat, and when you exercise, insulin causes you to gain muscle mass.

Insulin can really pump you up!

Both fat-wise and muscle-wise.

But please, please, pretty please, do mess around with anabolic steroids.

They can be very dangerous.

formerfatty said...

sorry, I mean "intuitive eating," not HAES

right now my "body" is telling me that I need a fucking cupcake, and I need one NOW

Fat Bastardo said...

The keep HAES and intuitive eating ambiguous and mysterious so they don't have to admit they are gluttons. Those of us in the New Fat Acceptance movement embrace our gluttony and where it like a badge of honor.

I don't pork fat girls because it is very difficult for two fatlings to make bacon. I only bang skinny chicks because they have low self esteem and the mechanics work out better.

Proud FA only used to pork fat girls but he is in a fairly serious relationship with a skinny chick. He may even marry her because he doesn't want kids with a fat girl. I mean who would want their baby having to wiggle out of the yeasty maw of a fat girl?

I here you about the "juice" Teddy but it will be a short lived thing. I am off my insulin for now because my sugar is perfect. In fact I ate a small boz of Russell Stover candies and I was fine.

Formerly fat girl, meet Teddy Bear. Teddy is a real heavyweight in the new fat acceptance movement. Please check out his blog. It is must reading.

BTW, those of us in the New Fat Acceptance movement are not anti-diet so we will not view you as a traitor. You are free to say whatever you wish on this blog as we respect your constitutional protected right to free speech. We go by the US constitution as our guide. Teddy Bear, Proud FA and I are all patriots.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good morning Fat Bastard and Proud FA!

Last night I have posted another NEW ARTICLE at my blog, THE BIGGEST FATTEST BLOG at:

http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com/

It is titled . . . . .

ANTHROMORPHOLOGY, MY VERY OWN STUDY OF ALL HUMAN BODY SHAPES, AND ENDOMORPHOLOGY, MY OWN STUDY OF THE OBESE ENDOMORPHIC HUMAN BODY SHAPE

Description . . .

THIS IS MY VERY OWN PERSONAL STUDY OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES THAT IS BASED ON MY OWN OBSERVATIONS AND MY OWN THEORIES OR HYPOTHESES. I CALL MY OWN PERSONAL STUDY OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES "ANTHROMORPHOLOGY" WHICH IS MY OWN STUDY OF ALL KINDS OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES, AND ALSO IN PARTICULAR, MY OWN PERSONAL STUDY WHICH I CALL "ENDOMORPHOLOGY" WHICH HAS TO DO WITH THE STUDY OF OBESE HUMAN BODY SHAPES, THE MAIN FOCUS OF THIS TOPIC, BECAUSE WE OBESE PEOPLE COME IN A MUCH WIDER VARIETY OF DIFFERENT SHAPES.

ANTHROMORPHOLOGY - MY OWN STUDY OF ALL HUMAN BODY SHAPES.

ENDOMORPHOLOGY - MY OWN STUDY OF OBESE HUMAN BODY SHAPES.

This article is not only about body shapes but also about body proportions.

For example:

If you happen to have really short legs and a long torso then you look better being fat, because having really short legs on a long body looks weird, so you would look much better being obese.

I'm 5 feet 6 inches or 66 inches tall, and normally a male my height would have a torso length from shoulder to crotch measuring 23 inches and the leg length or crotch height would be 23 inches. So the legs are usually longer than the torso length.

But in my case . . . my torso measures 30 inches from shoulder to crotch and my legs are only 26 inches long, so my legs are shorter than the torso length.

So, I'm suppose to be fat, because with my long torso and short legs I would look kind of weird if I were thin.

Therefor, if you have a long torso and short legs, you would look much better being plump and round.

Anyway, check out my latest article at about Hyper-endomorphism at:

http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com/

Mike Hunt said...

Gluttony and HAES have a lot in common. I am still an active feeder but there is no sex involved. I guess HAES is a step in the right direction for the girls in the old and crumbling fat acceptance movement who don't want to call what they do gluttony.

Real fat boys like Fat Bastard, Teddy Bear and out new friend Big Lard Ass enthusiastically embrace gluttony. Fat Bastard's role as the leader of the New Fat Acceptance Movement and Teddy's role as Fat Acceptance's premier theoretician, nutritionist and educator know all too well the value of gluttony to the movement and to the evolution of the obese.

As the Dean of feederism it is my job to encourage fat girls to embrace and increase their gluttonous ways. "O" really is for their over eating nature which brings us to the question of nature vs nurture. I think with true hyper gluttons like Teddy and Fat Bastard it is both nature and nurture. I would like Teddy's thought on that.

Big Lard Ass said...

Dear Everybody,

I agree that the New Fat Acceptance Movement should not and does not censor opposing viewpoints.

We firmly believe that both the food that goes into our mouths, and the words that come out of our mouths should not be restricted by others who disagree with us.

Gluttony is a basic human right! While freedom of the press is important, freedom of the pressed Cuban sandwich is equally important.

If the world learned to get very fat, we would all live in a perfect utopia. There would be no wars because fat people don't make decent soldiers. There would be no hunger because everyone would be a glutton. There would be no overpopulation because it is harder for fat people to have sex, and some fat people lose interest in sex completely. There would be no more anorexia.

There would be very few suicides, because fat people are much less likely to kill themselves compared to skinny people. (There are skinny millionaire models who kill themselves, but do you hear about fat guys killing themselves? Nope.) Kids would have higher self esteem and learn more in school without having to worry about being bullied for being fat. Our diets and nutrition would improve dramatically.

We would see an end to most addictions and substance abuse, because us fat people are usually too busy eating to get involved with drugs.

Child abuse would be less common because there would be fewer children, and they would be bigger and therefore more able to defend themselves. (For example, a 400 lbs 8 year old girl could defend herself much better than a typical 40 lbs 8 year old girl. If she were attacked by a 400 lbs man, then being at his weight would make him think twice about attacking her, whereas if he was 10 times her weight, he would be 10 times as likely to attack her.)

We would have more variety of clothes.

We would have a class-based society where Apples, Pears, and Oranges would live in harmony. Us apples would do most of the physical labor and child-creating, while the pears would do office work. The oranges would lord over us as the Chosen Caste, since they would be capable of both apple and pear activities. The minimum weight to hold public office would be 500 lbs, and to be President, you'd have to be at least 750 lbs.

The new flag of Earth would be tri-colored. Orange, green, and red, representing the oranges, pears, and apple shaped people of Earth living in harmony.

Regards,

Big Lard Ass

Big red said...

You say oink..I say..sssuuuuuwwwwweeeee

Big red said...

Look here you fat lazy sinful fatass. first the bible says gluttony is a sin.a 400 lb 8yr old would be murder by the parents. And thirdly I weigh 105 lbs and 5 ft 1. And 52 years old and I will beat your lard ass right now. I would knock your fat nasty stupid as out cold before you could stand your fat as up from sitting on your nasty.you are an idiot.I bet you need a toilet bowl brush to wash your assistance if you even wash your ass. Probably can't reach it with your short pig arm.so go back to your trough pig

Big red said...

You say oink..I say..sssuuuuuwwwwweeeee

Fat Bastardo said...

OINK!

5' 1" and 105 pounds? BOING!! Skinny chicks rock. Keep posting Big Red. Piss of the angry fat girls.

xoxoxoxox