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Is Obesity A Choice?

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Fat People RULE!

Whether it is our regal stature or our intimidating gate when we walk/waddle, FAT PEOPLE ! OINK!
Hot heavy hungry hunny having her way with a hamburger! 

Our growing numbers prove that we are indeed the next big thing. We fatlings are driving the social and biological evolutionary process of the human race. Our greedy gluttony and unbridled food lust is ushering in a new era for human evolution. It is our fattitude that is the driving force behind world events and the future of humanity. Our gluttonous greed is shaping society and is beginning to shape the human genome.We are like wild feral hogs as we undo the yoke of oppression and current societal norms we will be like the domesticated pig who escaped the cruel hog farmer and grew in to this menacing beast.

As we break the chains of the fat hating society will morph into something like this only fatter!
We already refer to ourselves as grizzly bears and teddy bears. In fact the greatest theorist in the fat acceptance movement is "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear. You can read his cutting edge work at Teddy Bear, as he is known in fat acceptance circles is the undisputed leader in the science and social science of fat. If there is ever a man who should be the first professor emeritus in fat studies it should be "Dr" Bear.
"Dr" Professor Gerald "Teddy" Bear

Then we have the esteemed and erudite Reverend Big Lard Ass. This guy makes Jesus, Buddha, L Ron Hubbard, Mohammad ect,, look like a bunch of chumps. In a recent near death experience the Reverend Big Lard Ass was taken of a tour of fatling heaven and he now knows what the afterlife has in store for those of us  who play a good fork and spoon.
Reverend Big Lard Ass (Only the truly faithful will see him in all his majesty) If you can't see his image then you lack the fattitude and weight required.)

We fatlings are ushering in a new age; the age of obesity. Our sheer fat alone will usher in new technologies in both science and medicine. The biggest technology that our needs will drive will be anti-gravity technology. Soon power chairs will go the way of the horse and buggy and ion propulsion anti-gravity devices that will allow us to get as fat as we want while allowing us to go anywhere we want. We will be like people in a Marc Chagall painting only fatter.

The sky will be dark with our fat bodies and we will block enough sun so that global warming will no longer be a problem. Because we produce 10 times the body heat of the average thinling we will be a source of radiant heat for the planet.

Necessity being the mother of invention. As we grow in size and numbers eventually there will not be enough room on earth for us so eventually we will colonize the other planets.Think of it like Star Trek but with everyone being fat like Captain Kirk and Scotty.
Scotty and Kirk before that got fat.



Brend Buffet said...

Fat Bastard,

You are indeed a visionary!

OINK! OINK! you big fat fat bastard!

Rotunda Hindenberg said...

I LOVE the idea of being weightless! I would sure take the strain off my aching bones. To float like a big fluffy cloud would be divine.

J Portnick said...


Wonderful article! I too am working of an article called fat of the future.

Jennifer Portnick.

Kelly Bliss said...

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all we had to do is eat? I'd love!

Anonymous said...


Fupa McGee said...

I am now inspired to start my new fat life, goodbye fit frame, fat here I come! It is the American way after all.

Anonymous said...

I love this!!!! I can't wait until all have massive FUPA.

Teddy Bear said...

Good evening Fat Bastard.

Yes, we fat people RULE!

I've been rather busy lately, but I'm working on a new article for my blog.

It's about Fat Cartoons From Around The Internet.

It will be titled . . .


These internet artists really don't know how to draw obesity cartoons.

So, in my new article I will show the original version, and then my improved and enhanced versions and colorized versions of the black & white originals.

I should be finished with editing my new article sometime tonight.

I can show these cartoon editors how to really do obesity and do it right.

I'm beginning to believe that when it comes to cartoon drawings, only I know how to do obesity.

Fat Bastard said...

Teddy there is no doubt about it. You Teddy are the best fat cartoonist on the net. I should acknowledge that more but I am so bowled over by your keen intellect that I forget.

FUPA all I can say is EAT EAT EAT!

Big Lard Ass said...

Re Brenda Buffet: He is a visionary in a lot of ways. I consider him to be the leader of the new fat acceptance movement. He has the leadership skills that Teddy and I don't have. We each bring our own skillset to the table, kind of like a potluck dinner!

Re Rotunda: Being weightless is one of the great perks of Faedevin! Your bones will not ache anymore, you will just feel contented and able to float slowly, or walk without pain. It takes a few years to get really good at controlling your floating, but the basics are learned in just a few days.

Re Ms. Portnick: I agree that it's a great article! I'd like to see your article soon too when it comes out.

Re Ms. Bliss: It sure is wonderful- and guess what? In Faedevin, that's what awaits you! There are other optional activities as well though, so you can do other things besides eat too. But yeah, the big focus is on eating. Just like in real life for me!

Re Fupa: Glad that you decided that living a long, fit, healthy, attractive life is not for you. Welcome to club fat!! You should take pictures to document your progress and impress people by showing them that you CHOSE to become fat. That makes it more impressive. Also encourage your significant other to do the same. That way you'll need like 4 to 5 plane tickets between the two of you in order to travel by air!

Re Teddy: Glad to hear that you have a new article coming out! I can't wait to read it, and to see your wonderful cartoons of hyper morbid obesity! Sometimes cartoons of supposedly fat people don't look all that fat at all- I say, if you're going to do it you should do it right, and make them HUGE, just like real life major fatties!

Re Fat Bastard: Yeah, I myself almost forgot the fact that Teddy is not only our intellectual leader, he is also our artistic leader. Even despite hand injuries from a crazed former roommate, he is able to make the absolute best artwork of fat people I have ever seen. I also miss his cartoons a lot too. I think he could become a cartoonist if he wanted to.


Big Lard Ass

Fat Bastard said...


Thank you for your gracious acknowlegements to the BFB readers. You have the skill of a great clergy man.

Brenda and Rotunda are frequent posters and the prove that most women are down with the NAFAM.

Jennifer Portnick is the Joan of Arc of fat acceptance. She is famous for her lawsuit against Jazzersize. Jenny still hold onto the genetics and HAES nonsense BUT I think she is seeing the light.

Kelly Bliss is another HAES devotee and is famous for her debates with he very bonable MeMe Roth.

Fupa is a newbie here. Welcome FEPA!

There are not enough words to cover the ground breaking work of Teddy Bear is the NAFAM's Renaissance man. Teddy is an artist, social critic, scientist, theorist, nutritionist, journalist and fat boy.

Big Lard Ass said...

Dear Fat Bastard,

No problem; I'm not one of those guys who just pretends to be friendly, I really do care about everybody.

I actually remember seeing Jennifer Portnick on Bill O'Reilly a few years back, and he seemed to be siding with the Jazzersize people.

Only Michigan and I think some cities like San Fransisco (where she was when this happened to her) have laws on the books against fat discrimination. I think that if you can do the work, you should be able to get the job!!

Every state should have a law that says that if you are fat, and you can still do the job just as well, then they should not be able to discriminate against you. Otherwise, we will have companies firing employees based on who is the fattest, just out of BIGotry. Now, if it's like an Anorexia Magazine, okay, they should be allowed to look for anorexic models.

Same thing if it's like a play or a movie that calls for a skinny person. Or if it's like, a surgeon who has to be able to do surgery for like 8 hours, and a fat guy who can't stand for more than 3 hours without getting tired, then he should be fired if he can't get fit enough or be re-assinged to do other surgeries.

But if it's an aerobics instructor, and she can do all the routines and everything just fine, then why would you not give her the job- would you rather give it to a thin but weak person who can't do everything, or someone without experience? It's just crazy. The anti-fat rage is just pathetic and sad, and it needs to end.

Thankfully there is a growing movement towards fat acceptance, the NAFAM. Unlike the old fat acceptance, its name does not resemble that of the NAACP (lets face it, African Americans faced worse discrimination than us fat people. So we shouldn't have a similar name, because it takes away from what they went through. NAFAM is our own name, for our own cause.)

Also, NAFAM is okay with dieting. We're all about choices. Although I don't think we endorse any type of weight loss surgery, except skin flap removal, to prevent sagging and bagging after weight loss.


Big Lard Ass

-Big Lard Ass

NAAFA Defector said...

Fat Bastard this has been a long time coming. NAAFA dropped the ball. Now they have less than 2000 members. They just became more crazy and cultish and most of us left. THANK YOU for this blog and NAFAM. Fat people everywhere are grateful! We owe you a big fat debt og gratitude.

The Chef said...

Greetins from The Chef,

The Chef was once a member of the NAAFA but when the Chef pointed out that us Black folks had it and still have it tougher than most fat folks those NAAFA girls got all racist on the Chef.

They really got angry when the Chef explained the he didn't hire no fat girls for waitresses cause they be slow and eatin to much. That really got the folks at the NAAFA all riled up.

Big Lard Ass is right about us Black folks having more difficult struggles than White fat folks. You ain't gonna see no fat White folks pulled of for driving while fat.