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Saturday, July 31, 2010

Fat Singers are the BEST Singers

Who's better than Ann Wilson from the legendary Canadian rock band Heart? Susan Boyle? Maybe and Susan Boyle is also fat. Who can forget Ann's name sake Carney Wilson of Wilson Phillips? Then we have the immortal Mama Cass and the Queen of Soul Aretha Frankin. What thinling can sing better than any of them? Barbara Streisand you say? Babs to is now fat and she really is like butter. Another great under rated singer was the late great Nell Carter. Nell was an SSBBW and boy could that fat girl sing! We mustn't forget Jordin Sparks the latest target for MeMe Roth's venom. While still only a pup, Jordin has the potential to surpass greats like Mama Cass, and the plump Patti LaBelle and dare I say the Queen of Soul herself, Aretha Franklin. Keep eating Jordin and grow your waist and butt along with your career.
Ann Wilson is more that twice as big as her hot thinling sister Nancy and she sings twice as good. Can you think of another female rocker better that Ann Wilson? Of course you can't!

You can have your Dixie Chicks, Lorretta Lynn, Shania Twain ect.. ect.. ect.. but when in comes to country music no one come close to Wynona Judd. With a name like Wynona she has to be fat.
Gorgeous girl glutton Wynona flashing the sign of the fork.

So impressed with Wynona, Primus bass play Les Claypool penned the following lyric.

Wynona's got herself a big brown beaver
And she shows it off to all her friends.
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her,
So she caged him up with cyclone fence.
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said Recognize that smell?
Smells like seven layers,
That beaver eats Taco Bell.

Now Rex he was a Texan out of New Orleans
And he traveled with the carnival shows.
He ran bumper cars, sucked cheap cigars
And he candied up his nose.
He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek,
But the beaver was quick and he grabbed him by the kiwis
Now he ain't pissed for a week.
(And a half!)

Now Wynona took her big brown beaver,
And she stuck him up in the air.
Said I sure do love this big brown beaver
And I wish I did have a pair.
Now the beaver once slept for seven days
And it gave us all an awful fright.
So I tickled his chin and I gave him a pinch
And the bastard tried to bite me.
Wynona loved her big brown beaver
And she stroked him all the time.
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her
She might have a porcupine
Jordin Sparks may be a mere pup now but Aretha was even smaller when she first hit the charts and with today's glutton fare so available and with the enabling and normalization of gluttony and obesity Jordin stands a very good chance of weighing as much as Aretha and Wynona combined! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! You can do it! The good news is, Jordin Sparks is FAT!

OK I have to admit it. There are exceptions to the rule. Barbara Streisand did look better thin and she sang great even when she was a hot thinling.
 Like butter, Babs beginning her blimp phase but still just a pup.
Babs breaking into full blimp mode.*SE-1crqsRmTyrPyfMHE8H9sDgT-qX3-9FSm7CAp7Wl0ywaac1y4nb*zRD9uSguvBmAvKN/barbra20streisand.jpg
Beautiful Babs Before Blimping
Bigger is better! Not only is Aretha the Queen of Soul but she is also the queen of soul food and singing better than ever!
Aretha, as pretty as you were then you are even better now!

What tribute to fat girl singers would be complete without mentioning Mama Cass. Not only did Mama Cass have the greatest voice in folk rock she died while eating a sandwich.
Look at that impressive tonal neck blubber!

I can see it now. Her handlers are going to slim her down instead of plumping her up. I fear that is what is in store for Susan Boyle. If Susan Boyle loses the weight she will lose her voice. It's true!
A young undiscovered Susan Boyle. If she had come to the US she would have added the thick tonal blubber that now sets her voice apart from the pack.
Look at her now! Look at the food on her upper lip!! Look at that tone enhancing neck blubber!!!

As always on Bigger Fatter Blog it's ladies first but let's not forget the men.

There may be some debate as to who the greatest opera singer of all time was, Luciano Pavaratti or Enrico Caruso.  I gotta go with Pavaratti. As fat as he was more than a few women in Italy and the rest of the world flicked their switches when ever Pavaratti took the stage and unleashed the awesome power of his legendary tenor voice. Even though he was a fat pasta eating lummox he got more ass than most rock stars.

Per i nostri lettori italiani: Pavaratti scopata donne più belle di Mick Jagger. Non era un nano e lui non è andato sul palco e muovere il culo magro come un omosessuale.

Michael Jackson may be the king of pop but the best voice in pop belongs to the meat master general himself, the immortal man of meat, Meatloaf! With all due respect to Michael Jackson, all the crotch grabbing in the world will never match the power of the meat! 
Mighty Mighty Meatloaf majestically meting out the musical meat!
Even his name is great! Ruben (sandwich the stud) Studdard wowed even the hyper critical Simon Cowel to win American Idol and defeat that classless sweet boy Clay (my ass is) Aiken. The last pussy Aiken saw was when he slithered out of his mama. Our man Ruben is getting more ass than a toilet seat and speaking of getting ass no two men are responsible for setting the mood for seduction than Barry White and his Love Unlimited Orchestra and the late great Luther Vandross.
The deep soulful tones of Barry's voice along with the romantic musical arrangements of his Love Unlimited Orchestra put millions of ladies in the mood to make sweet love with men like me, Fat Bastard. Rev BLA and our latest contributor and gourmet The Chef.
The only thinling soul singers who can hold a candle to Luther is Smokey Robinson and Wilson Picket and maybe Al Green and maybe Marvin Gaye.
When it come to singing the blues the clear winner is BB King. Muddy Waters, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Bobby Blue Bland, Slim Harpo, Robert Cray,and even Robert Johnson are all a close second to BB King.
Hunka hunka burning love! The king of rock rocked! There is no arguing that the skinny Elvis was great but he would have been a mere flash in the pan and overshadowed by Jerry Lee Lewis, Chubby Checker and Fats Domino had Elvis Aaron Presley remained a thinling. The fatter the King got, the more women swooned.
Elvis died on the toilet from an fecal impacted bowel. His drug use and power eating caused the King to die in a manner worthy of a fatling. He will be remembered as much for his majestic fatling death and for his bigger than life life.

There is no telling how big the King could have and would have become if he had a hot thinling nurse around to give him an enema to release that hunka hunka steaming poop.
The best Elvis impersonators portray an Elvis as if he were alive today..... OR is this really the King  pretending to be an Elvis impersonator? Hmm....???
You probably don't even recognize this runt. This is the once great John Popper of the legendary Blues Traveler. When John Popper and Blues Traveler were topping the charts with smash hits like Run Around and the Heart Brings you back John was a big fat sweating lummox but since his weight loss John and the band are no longer selling our arenas. His singing is not as good and neither is his harmonica playing. Like most fat boys John developed his educated harmonica playing tongue eat pussy but now that he's skinny he's probably throwing the dick into his groupies and dropping even more weight.
John Popper and Blues Traveler in their heyday

Let's recap. Who's HOT and who's NOT? Ann Wilson and Heart = Hot!  Meatloaf after his weight loss = NOT! Aretha Frankin = Still HOT! Ruben Studdard = HOT pastrami on dark rye! BB King = No sign of cooling! Wynona = Sizzling like country ham! Barry White = The body heat generated by career IS the real reason the polar ice caps are melting.  Luther Vandross = The Spanish fly of music with a French tickler. John Popper NOT!

There you have it folks; some of the great fat singers. Please feel free make other suggestions but I think I've covered it pretty well and as always think you for reading Bigger Fatter Blog the leader in fat acceptance. EAT!


Meat Face said...

You make a great point Fat Bastard and I can think of another fat guy whose career nose dived after losing weight and that is John Popper of Blues Traveler but Charlie Daniels is fatter and more popular than ever.

Anonymous said...

you forgot Carnie Wilson

Fat Bastard said...

Anonymous said...

you forgot Carnie Wilson

I did mention Carnie but I spelled her name wrong. Thank you for pointing it out to me. <8-)

Fat Bastard said...

@Meat Face,

You got that right about Pauper and Charlie Daniels. Daniels got fat and his career is going strong but Pauper is on the D list.

I think the belly God smiles down on us fatlings.

Big Lard Ass said...

Dear Fat Bastard,

Your update was excellent as usual. However, you should also put in The Fat Boys! They were a top rap group from the late 80s and early 90s, and they rapped about eating food! One of their hits was called "All You Can Eat" and it was about them going to a buffet and tearing the place up.

Another was called Jailhouse Rap, and in it they described going to jail because they stole food; of course this was fictional and at the end they were encouraging people to not commit crimes. Anyway, I find that obese musicians set a better example for the youth compared to fit artists.

Big Lard Ass

Meat Face said...

You are right Big Lsrd Ass, Elvis even though he was a major druggie was made an official DEA agent by President Nixon.

He was a big fat sweating lummox and women loved his sweat. I think they liked him best when he got fat.

Hunka Hunka Burnin Love and Hunka Hunka sizzling fat.

Teddy Bear said...

Fat Bastard said...

Teddy my fat friend we haven't seen you for a while. Are you OK?

We are looking forward to your next article and would like your commentary on BFB's latest postings.

Good evening Fat Bastard

Sorry, I have been very busy. I have been working on my new channel at YouTube.

My YouTube user name is:


And my channel is about science, evolution, and academic freedom.

It is titled:

Science Wins! Creationism Loses! We have the fossils! WE WIN!

It's at:

I have downloaded a video that is titled:

Don McLeroy - The Creationist in Charge of Education in Texas

It's an ABC NEWS NIGHTLINE video which I had saved to my computer.

Then, I uploaded it to my channel so that I could edit the video, and add my own comments (annotations) in little text blocks.

It is the feature video that can be seen on my channel.

you can also watch it at:

BigFatMan1951 | July 18, 2010

March 11, 2010 on ABC Nightline:

Fundamentalist Christian dentist (hey! That rhymes!) Don McLeory, promotes drastic curriculum change for school textbooks in the state of Texas.

Among some of the proposed changes would be to remove any mention of Thomas Jefferson from the history textbooks and replace him with John Calvin, a raving maniac who a few centuries ago had people tortured in the name of his religion.

This, of course, is not mentioned in the NEWS clipping on the video above, but many other purposed changes are mentioned.

Don McLeoroy was eventually voted out of the Texas State Board of Education, but it's too late, because the board has selected the Textbooks that will be used for the next 10 years, so we're all screwed!

So, I have been very busy working on my new channel at YouTube.

I have also saved many other user videos to my page of Favorites, all kinds of videos on Darwin's Evolution, which I happen to support.

Eventually I will get a decent microphone and a video camers so that I can create my own videos to upload to my new YouTube channel.

Please do check it out.

Catch ya all later!

Teddy Bear

Fat Bastard said...


You are the activist's activist! There are more things than fat acceptance and making sure science is not replaced with fairy tales is a very important cause.

We will most certainly feature this on Bigger Fatter Blog as well as our sister blog Medical Holocaust.

As you probably know videos can be embedded on blogspot and you would be wise old bear to put those vids on the Biggest Fattest Blog and on as many political forums as you can.

Get the word out about those Texas dumb fucks. You are indeed smarter than the average bear.

You may want to check out the Amazing Atheist's Channel as I think he may have commented on this 170 pounds of shit in a ten gallon hat Don McLeroy. I'd like to tear off his head and shit down his neck.

Tazchick said...

one more nomination, Sadly posthumous :Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole died before his cover of "Over The Rainbow" started showing up everywhere.!

Big Lard Ass said...

Oh yeah, Big Ted is going to make his YouTube channel into an amazing resource for the pro-obesity movement!

Here is what I would suggest: you should get a cheap used video/audio device - maybe spend like $5, from someone who is upgrading theirs. Or see if any of your friends has an old one they don't use anymore that they might even give to you for free.

Then you can start your own series on obesity and everything. You can talk about what it is like to go shopping for new clothes, stories about how you got them to put the bench back at the bus stop, tips on managing your type two diabetes while still eating lots of food, and maybe even show a video of your cooking and drawing!

If you manage to become a YouTube Partner, then you get paid to post new videos, but it is very hard to achieve that status and it requires near daily updates in order to achieve, and then like 1 to 2 updates per week to sustain it.

I believe that you will attract lots of subscribers very quickly as long as you basically just act like yourself, and come up with interesting ideas to post about. Believe in yourself- trust your gut.


Big Lard Ass

Anonymous said...

Teddy Bear has a YouTube channel and it rocks!

Oink said...


Fat Bastard said...


The death of IZ is real tragedy. What a talent! What a loss. Heaven just got a golden throat chubby cherub.

That rendition of Over the Rainbow is the best!

Anonymous said...

Pro obesity rocks

Fat Bastard said...

@ Oink