Fat liberation blogger Big Fat Dynamo (I l0ve that name) throws in the towel. Discouraged by the dishonesty and absurdity of current fat acceptance movement Big Fat Dynamo can no longer in good conscience continue the charade. Sadly, Big Fat Dynamo has closed her blog. Her final blog entry shows how the chicanery and misrepresentations by groups like NAAFA, Dimensions, Big Fat Blog and charlatans like lawyer Paul Campos, Marylin Wann, Kelly Bliss, and that mouthy Joy Nash have once again sullied the cause of fat people. Their sophistries are laughable and embarrassing to most fat people. We know we are gluttons. We don't need the jokers in the fat acceptance movement lying on our behalf.
The goal of this blog is much more than to get fat people feeling good about their bodies. Current fat acceptance is the problem not the solution. We don't need ass clowns and reality deniers like lawyer scumbag Paul Campos, Jennifer Portnick, Kelly Bliss and that loud mouth Joy Nash stating the case for the two thirds of Americans who are fat. We can speak for ourselves thank you very much! Gluttony is good and NAAFA knows this but in their gross hypocrisy they speak out against Feederism inspite of their cozy relationship with Dimensions Magazine and Conrad Blickenstorfer, the czar of feederism and dean of the feeding arts. This is why 99.99999% of fat people are not part of the fat liberation movement. They know bullshit when they hear it.
Big Fat Dynamo sums it up in her final farewell to today's ugly, ignominious, and farcical fat acceptance movement. Here is her sad and sober goodbye.
Big Fat Dynamo
Monday, September 15, 2008
Why I Quit Blogging - A Farewell LetterMy blog was a lie. A lie to those who read it and myself.
I am not a fat acceptance advocate. Why? Because I can't accept myself at 300+ pounds anymore.
You see the title of the blog, Big Fat Dynamo. It's a line from an episode of The Simpsons. The plot requires Homer Simpson to weigh 300 pounds so he can work from home on disability. He ends up gaining 315.
When I first saw the episode, I told myself I would never let myself get up to 300 pounds. It was one of my greatest fears - I was an "acceptable" fat person at the time. I am now over 300 pounds, and I absolutely hate myself.
At least I know why I'm 300+ pounds - I eat too much. And I don't exercise. For years, I told people I was making a conscious effort to eat better and get in shape so they would accept me. At least I was trying to do something about my fat.
I have an addiction to fast food, especially McDonald's. It's not uncommon for me to eat it the majority of the week. Nor is it uncommon for me to eat it twice a day. It's extremely sad and embarrassing.
Exercise? Forget it. I don't exercise. Walking up and down the stairs is the only exercise I get. And I only do it so people won't think I'm that fat girl who's so lazy, she has to take the elevator.
OK, so I don't have any health problems. And it's pretty amazing that I don't, seeing that I've been eating a steady stream of crap for years. According to the BMI, I should be dead. I'm not even "morbidly" obese anymore - I'm "super" obese.
Nobody should be "super" obese. There is no freaking way a woman that stands at 5'4" is genetically programmed to be over 300 pounds. I brought this upon myself, because I am lazy and comfortable with my sedentary lifestyle.
Want to know about my body? It's disgusting. My ass is a lump that sticks out about five miles and frequently knocks things over. My lower belly is a giant glob of fat. I have deep purple stretch marks on both sides. My breasts hang down and have lost any "perkiness" they once had. I have two lumps of fat on my back that show through anything I wear. My thighs are two giant hams that are lumpy. My upper arms have flab too - and stretch marks. I have a double chin I can't hide anymore. I've never seen my clavicle. The only "thin" parts of my body are the shoulders and elbows. Somehow, both of these areas have stayed bony. My arms aren't to that point where the fat hangs over the elbow, but I'm sure it will get to that if I don't do something about it.
I sound really attractive, don't I? I really cannot blame people for hating me based on physical looks, because it's obvious that I have no respect for my body. Sure, you can't really see all this through what I wear on a daily basis. But you can't exactly hide excess weight. I don't even shop for clothing anymore, because it's near impossible to find something that will fit me. And as an individual who enjoys fashion, it absolutely kills me to go out in public looking like a slob. I can't wear a nice dress, because the shape of my body won't allow it. I have to find shirts that will "cut" off in the middle of my butt, in order to make it look more presentable in public. I've given up on jeans, and I can't bring myself to wear stretch pants.
The fat acceptance movement - when I found it over a year ago - bumped up my confidence to a place I never thought it could go. However, it also depressed me. I started reading all the familiar stories of how fat people get treated in public and by health professionals. It really got to me, because I could relate.
A few months ago, I was getting into a "zone" of sorts. I was practicing Health at Every Size, telling myself that health should come before weight. I actually dropped 10 pounds through the process, which was a bit of a wake-up call for me. My body was trying me that a healthy lifestyle should come before dieting. I was really happy, truly happy, for the first time in my life. I actually looked in the mirror naked, and was pleased with what I saw.
I don't know what happened. A life of fast food and laziness beckoned. I don't know if that has to do with my busy work/school schedule or what, but I totally fell off my happiness wagon into the pit of despair I live in now. Not ONE day goes by where I think about how fat I am and the weight I have to lose. Beating myself up is part of my daily schedule, I'm quite sure.
Where do I go from here? I honestly don't know. I plan on quitting my fast food habit immediately. I just won't go anymore. I don't need it, and I won't get sick or die from the withdrawal of it.
Diet? That hasn't worked in the past, but I WANT to lose weight now. That is why I can't be a fat acceptance advocate from now on. I want a normal weight and a normal BMI. With the growing animosity toward fat people in society, I fear for my future. I have to do something now, before somebody else decides to.
I've studied all the science behind fat and such, but I'm not really convinced anymore. It can't be denied that there are more obese children and adults in society today. It can't be denied that rising health costs are due to excess weight, sedentary habits, and unhealthy foods.
And the fat acceptance movement? It's mostly made up of people who are "acceptable" to society - like a size 14. These people eat normal and get activity in. It's much easier for society to accept these people, because they are not part of that group of "abnormal" fat people like me who admit to eating junk and not exercising.
I'm an embarrassment to the movement, the world, and myself. It hurts to see others laughing at me on a daily basis, but I guess I deserve it. I really brought it all upon myself. I am a walking joke.
I'm sorry, FA advocates. I don't have your bravery anymore.
posted by Big Fat Dynamo http://bigfatdynamo.blogspot.com/
Big Fat Dynamo, you did not let the fat acceptance movement down. They let you down. Like all fat people you are a glutton but unfortunately today's bullshit fat accpetance movement likes to deny that. There is nothing wrong with you eating what ever the fuck you want to eat and conversely there is nothing wrong you wanting to be smaller and going on a diet. If gluttony is not your thing Bigger Fatter Blog is cool with that. We are not anti-diet. Whether you are fat thin or in between you are not a failure. Whether you eat like a pig or a bird, you are not a failure or a bad person. If you are unhappy with your body and lifestyle change it but make sure it is your body that you are unhappy with. For most fat people the pleasures of food and sloth outweight the consequences of gluttony. You may need to come to terms with that. You have 2 options. You can lose the weight but because you are a glutton that probably will not happen. We gluttons rarely comply with any sort of weight loss plan. If you are willing to do that more power to you and Bigger Fatter Blog would support you in that choice. If you decide to continue your gluttonous ways you also have our support and encouragement. Unlike the snakes in today's fat acceptance serving their kool aid we do not judge or psychologically abuse anyone for any reason.
We do not judge. We would hope that your fat body is something that you think is hot. Many men are really turned on by super fat women. If you don't believe that simply do a google image search using search terms like BBW, Obese, Plumper, SSBBW ect.. with the safe mode off and you will see a bevy of buxom beauties flaunting their fabulous flab. Do the same for skinny women and you will find mostly up tight fully clothed women.
If you read this Big Fat Dynamo please know that you have a soft place to fall here at Bigger Fatter Blog as does everyone who has been disenfranchised by the schizophrenic cluster fuck that is today's fat acceptance.