Wednesday, December 23, 2009

In the Kitchen With Fat Bastard and Proud FA

This will be a recurring theme on Bigger Fatter Blog. We're fat and we like to eat. We like our food fast, easy and tasty. This part of Bigger Fatter Blog will be dedicated to simple, quick and yummy dishes that will satisfy the most discriminating glutton. There will be no complicated or time consuming recipes featured here. This is not Malto Mario, Ina Garten or Iron Chef. This is real cooking for real gluttons and those people who like to feed them.

Sweet and Savory Meatball Delight

http://thefoodaddicts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/swedishmeatballs01.jpg

This is a sweet and savory holiday favorite that is so tasty it will make you want to slap Kate Harding. Well, we all want to slap that nasty dog faced bitch.

Ingredients:

Precooked frozen Sam's Club Meatballs. (I buy the six pound bag)
4 - 12 oz bottles of Heinz Chili Sauce (Don't use a substitute)
2 - 12 oz jar of grape jelly (I prefer Welch's but if you have a favorite brand use that)

Pour the chili sauce and and the jelly into a Crock Pot of other slow cooker and then at frozen meatballs. Make sure the are all covered. Usually about half the bag. Place the lid on the Crock Pot and turn it on hi for an hour then turn it to low. This is not critical

Note. The longer they cook the better they will taste.

Serve in a bowl or fill a hoagie roll. Eat and enjoy.

Calories per serving 1200.

The next recipe is one Proud FA calls Bar Cookie Decadence Lasagna. Cookies can be very time consuming with steps like measuring and mixing the ingredients, greasing the cookie sheets cookie sheets, spooning the cookie dough onto the sheets, putting them on the sheets, checking them to see if they are done and then taking them of the sheets. Who wants to do all that? We want to Eat!

A Variation on the Theme "Cock Tale" Wiener Deluxe


Image result for cocktail weenies bacon brown sugar



Once they've had you sweet and savory balls it time to introduce them to your hot hot and spicy wiener action.

4 - pounds smoked cocktail wieners

24 - ounce apple jelly

24 - ounce Guldens Spicy Brown mustard

Place all ingredients into a super sized Crock Pot http://z.about.com/d/inventors/1/G/N/U/RT.GIF and simmer for 1 hour. Serve warm.

Serves 4 BBWs or 2 SSBBW's

Image result for crockpot ideas

Bar Cookie Decadence
Lasagna
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2141/1583286318_3792f51366.jpg

Ingredients:

8 - Tubes of cookie dough. Mix and match and be creative.

4 - Bags Giradelli chocolate chips

4 - Bags butterscotch chips

2 - Sticks of butter softened

8 - Cups of red and green M&Ms

Preheat oven to 350

Smear four cookie sheets with one stick of butter.

Using your hands spread a tube of cookie dough into each cookie sheet an sprinkle a thick layer chocolate chips and or the butterscotch chips on the first layer then smooth on another tube of cookie dough over the first layer.

Cover the tops with 2 cups of M&Ms each and back for 20 - 25 minutes. Do not over bake! Let cool.

EAT!

They say that candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. BBW's love Bailey's Irish Cream but they will swoon when the get a taste of Chocolate Eggnog Seduction.

Proud FA's Chocolate Eggnog Seduction.

http://hostedmedia.reimanpub.com/TOH/Images/Photos/37/exps19462_TH10301D31B.jpg

Ingredients:

1/2 Gallon Eggnog (Cold)

1 - Quart heavy cream (Cold

2 Cans Hershey's Genuine Chocolate Syrup

1 - Quart Creme de cacao

1 - Pint Spiced Rum)

1 - Pint Brandy

http://image2.clips4sale.com/accounts10/26086/clip_images/Chubby%20Bunny%20Image.gif
Fat girls love marshmallows!

Marshmallows (optional) Float a generous handful in each cup.

Note if she's an SSBBW you may want to substitute Bicardi 151 rum or Everclear for the brandy and spiced rum. The bigger they are the more alcohol it requires.

In a punch bowl thoroughly mix all the ingredients. Serve with some Barry White or Luther Vandross.

fat-1.jpg Fat Girl image by jrl1208

After a few cups of Proud FA's Chocolate Eggnog Seduction these red hot & sexy SSBBWs will be sliding up and down your chimney as you shout out with glee. HO HO! HO!!

http://curvature.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/bbw.jpghttp://www.bofunk.com/media/images/chickendance.jpg
Won't you ride my sleigh tonight?

Happy Holidays from your hosts Fat Bastard and Proud FA.

Image result for Obese santa

19 comments:

Sir Feeds A Lot said...

What a great way to feed for the holidays. Thanks Proud FA and Fat Bastard.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good morning Fat Bastard and Proud FA!

Hey guys!!!

I have also posted another NEW ARTICLE last night at my blog, THE BIGGEST FATTEST BLOG at:

http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com/

It is titled . . . . .

ANTHROMORPHOLOGY, MY VERY OWN STUDY OF ALL HUMAN BODY SHAPES, AND ENDOMORPHOLOGY, MY OWN STUDY OF THE OBESE ENDOMORPHIC HUMAN BODY SHAPE

Description . . .

THIS IS MY VERY OWN PERSONAL STUDY OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES THAT IS BASED ON MY OWN OBSERVATIONS AND MY OWN THEORIES OR HYPOTHESES. I CALL MY OWN PERSONAL STUDY OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES "ANTHROMORPHOLOGY" WHICH IS MY OWN STUDY OF ALL KINDS OF HUMAN BODY SHAPES, AND ALSO IN PARTICULAR, MY OWN PERSONAL STUDY WHICH I CALL "ENDOMORPHOLOGY" WHICH HAS TO DO WITH THE STUDY OF OBESE HUMAN BODY SHAPES, THE MAIN FOCUS OF THIS TOPIC, BECAUSE WE OBESE PEOPLE COME IN A MUCH WIDER VARIETY OF DIFFERENT SHAPES.

ANTHROMORPHOLOGY - MY OWN STUDY OF ALL HUMAN BODY SHAPES.

ENDOMORPHOLOGY - MY OWN STUDY OF OBESE HUMAN BODY SHAPES.

This article is not only about body shapes but also about body proportions.

For example:

If you happen to have really short legs and a long torso then you look better being fat, because having really short legs on a long body looks weird, so you would look much better being obese.

I'm 5 feet 6 inches or 66 inches tall, and normally a male my height would have a torso length from shoulder to crotch measuring 23 inches and the leg length or crotch height would be 23 inches. So the legs are usually longer than the torso length.

But in my case . . . my torso measures 30 inches from shoulder to crotch and my legs are only 26 inches long, so my legs are shorter than the torso length.

So, I'm suppose to be fat, because with my long torso and short legs I would look kind of weird if I were thin.

Therefor, if you have a long torso and short legs, you would look much better being plump and round.

Anyway, check out my latest article at about Hyper-endomorphism at:

http://the-biggest-fattest-blog.blogspot.com/

By the way . . .

FANTASTIC RECIPES!

Perfect for all of us happy gluttons!

Thanks!

Fat Bastardo said...

Your work with obese somatypes make Sheldon's work pale by comparison. I've set it before and I will say it again. Your work belongs in every major university worldwide.

http://www.kheper.net/topics/typology/somatotypes.html

Fat Bastardo said...

One more thing, I'm sure that all of these recipes can be made Kosher. Hebrew National Wieners would work wonderfully.

Mike Hunt said...

Merry XXX-Mas

Mike Hunt said...

My chocolate eggnog can even get fat guys laid. BBW's can't resist it. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac and add a stiff shot of alcohol and your BBW will go down easier than a fat slut at a NAAFA convention.

Halloween marks the beginning of gaining season. and it reaches its zenith on X-mas.

Teddy, I am preparing some remarks for you latest article. I will read it again. It was a great read and very informative.

Carolina Maiden said...

Hi Fat Bastard,

Those look like some mighty tasty recipes you posted. I made the Chocolate Eggnog Seduction and OMG was it so GOOD. I didn't make the whole recipe because I only had a quart of eggnog and I used half and half in place of heavy cream but it was still delish.

I have to ask. Is this blog for real? I am a member of Big Fat Blog and they are telling me that this is not a real fat acceptance site. They are really mean to me over there because I am not afraid to say that I eat a lot and that is why I'm fat. I don't mean to offend you but do you believe that most fat people are fat because they eat too much? Your mission statement seems to indicate that's the case.

OMG! Teddy Bear I looked at a bigger version of your pix. You are soooooooo cute and cuddly just like a real teddy bear! My hear be still.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Carolina Maiden!

Thank you very much!

Yes, we are for real.

I'm sorry to hear that they gave you a hard time over at the old Big Fat Blog web site.

But yes, were are for real.

We have gone way way way beyond mere "size acceptance" or "fat acceptance" all the way to OBESITY LOVING!

We don't merely accept being fat.

Oh no! We LOVE BEING OBESE!

And we acknowledge that we are gluttons!

We are obese because we are gluttons, and we love it!

And some of us here, like myself, we hope to become even more obese.

Some of us would even like to set a new world's record if possible.

So, the next time you go back to Big Fat Blog, you tell them that we are for real.

You tell them about me, Teddy Bear, and how I have deliberately self-induced hypogonadism through increasing obesity, how I have deliberately eaten away my manhood to become a soft and weak obese little sissified Nancy Boy, and I love being asexual and impotent, and not being able to get it up anymore!

I love being a soft and weak obese little cream puff!

You tell them over there, that these are my word exactly.

Once again, than you very much.

kate said...

looks like something I'd see on Paula Deen's show

Big Fat Heretic said...

Hello again Carolina Maiden!

I forgot got to mention, here at our blogs, we all have our own unique interests and/or fetishes.

While I enjoy being an asexual impotent sissified cream puff, both Fat Bastard and Proud FA are more the manly Macho types.

Fat Bastard is more Macho and aggressive, but he has his gentle side. I look up to him as a protector of us soft and weak cream puffs.

Fat Bastard is apple-shaped while I'm slightly pear shaped.

My measurements are:

Chest 56 inches
waist 64 inches
hips 70 inches
thighs 36 inches


Both Fat Bastard and Proud FA will tell you that apple-shaped obese males are more manly and masculine, while we pear-shaped obese males are more gentle, docile, sissified and effeminate in our mannerisms.

Now, obese males who are pear-shaped do live much longer than obese males who are apple-shaped.

But, I actually envy the ones who are apple-shaped.

Here is what I like about being pear-shaped.

Because I measure 70 inches around my hips, when I'm sitting down, my hips spread out to almost 80 inches around. I have some difficulty reaching around behind myself to wipe my own butt, so I have to use a pair of tongs as a toilet-paper holder so that I can wipe myself.

That is what is the most fun about being pear-shaped with a big fat ass.

Also, my lower belly below my waist hangs down over my shrunken penis, and that make it almost impossible for me to have an erection.

As a result, my testosterone levels are very low, so my penis is only about 2 inches long and my testicles are about the size of two grapes.

This condition is what is known as hypo-gonadism. Ah! I love that sound of that word! Hypo-gonadism.

That is what I love the most about being pear-shaped.

Also, because of my low testosterone levels, I feel sleepy most of the time. I have no interest in sex. Having sex sounds too much like strenuous exercise, so I prefer to just eat and sleep, and grow more and more obese.

But here are the reasons why I envy apple-shaped obese male.

I believe that it would be fun having a huge round upper belly that hangs down over the waist-band of my pants, and down over my groin, and down over my thighs.

Also, to have a pair of love-handles that are much wider than my hips, and a great big roll of fat on my lower back that protrudes out further than my butt.

Then, it would be impossible to find shirts large enough to completely cover my belly and I would go around showing off my bellybutton, and my pants would slide halfway down on my ass, exposing my butt-crack.

It looks like it would be fun, going around out in public, showing off my bellybutton and butt-crack! And mooning everybody around me!

Also, having arms that are bigger around then my legs!

Yes, apple-shaped obese males don't live as long as pear-shaped obese males.

But apple-shaped obese males have a lot more fun!

That's why I envy the apple-shaped obese male body.

But in my case, I happen to be pear-shaped, and I hope some day that my butt will protrude out about 3 feet behind me, that my hips will become 7 feet wide and my lower belly will protrude about 3 feet in front of me and hange down to my knees.

That would also be fun!

Big Lard Ass said...

Hey Teddy Bear, you forgot to mention ME!

I am a super-hyper-morbidly obese apple shaped man, and I am aiming to achieve the state of the Perfect Apple Shaped Male, which would mean that my upper arms would each be bigger around than my hips, and my belly would be about 4 or 5 times as big around as my hips.

I want to weigh over 1,000 lbs before I die. I want most of that weight to be on my upper body- with huge rippling muscles under my huger layers of fat- basically like a huge 300 lbs bodybuilder, but with an additional 700 lbs of fat on there as well. This way, I could open up my own bar and be the bouncer, or something like that. Maybe start a porn site, who knows!? I'm getting tired of this corporate shit I've been doing most of my life. It's time for a change!

Anyway, these recipes sound pretty great, and I think that they will help me find fat chicks to get laid by, in addition to my girlfriend Brenda, with whom I have an open relationship, but currently it is only her who is taking advantage of that, she has three or four "friends with benefits" who each come over about once per week, and I do get a little jealous, so I have to make sure that I am ready to jump in there ASAP once the other guy leaves, just to re-establish that our sexual relationship is alive and well too.

Anyway, welcome to the community, Carolina Maiden!!

Fat Bastardo said...

Hi Kate, Carolina Maiden and Big Lard Ass.

Kate, we at BFB love Paula Deen the Butter Queen and her big fat husband. Don't forget, fat fattens best.

Carolina Maiden, welcome to BFB and the new fat acceptance. We like to think of ourselves as the rational alternative to those wackos over on Big Fat Blog. Even Paul McAleer couldn't deal with the crazies there. Think of this site as a place to explore your gluttony and food lust.

Big Lard Ass, I am pleased to know that this site is helping you to become they big lard ass that you aspire to be.

As to getting laid, I haven't had much luck porking fat girls period. I have seduced them with food but when there is food around I don't want sex. I only bone skinny chicks and I ply them with coke or ice. A coke whore will do anything. It like a fat girl will do anything for food but with a skinny coke or ice whore its even easier and unlike a fat girl they do all the work. Ride em cowgirl!

When you reach your goal weight you will be mighty impressive. Body builders will grovel at your feet because you can crush them.

As to your GF, there are a lot of guys like Proud FA who pork fat girls. Fat girls are the best sluts. Most of the fat girls Proud FA used to pork are married fat girls whose fat husbands were to fat to penetrate them. A big apple belly can get in the way. Believe me I know. That is why I bone skinny sluts and leave the fat sluts to guys like Proud FA. BTW, Proud FA is an equal opportunity lover of women. He is now in an exclusive relationship with a really HOT size 2 chick who can handle his skinny guy libido. Like Tupac Shakur once said, "skinny niggas can really throw the dick" and my Nigga Proud FA can really throw the dick. He banged over 20 BBW's one night at the 2006 NAAFA convention.

Aldo said...

Sono grasso e ti dirò cosa. Le mie braccia sono troppo brevi per cancellare il mio ano. Io sono grasso e ho un gluteo come due lune non mi nuotare nell'oceano perché ho paura di arpioni.

Sono grasso e un cieco può dire con i suoni che faccio e il modo in cui sento l'odore.

Calorie? Circa 1000 al giorno e se ho mangiato meno vorrei ingrassare comunque.

Sono grasso e io sono di cattivo umore. Ho aspettato cinque minuti! Mi serva il mio cibo! perché sono grasso!

Big Fat Heretic said...

OK, I was able to us the language tools at Google.

==========
Aldo said...

"Sono grasso e ti dirò cosa. Le mie braccia sono troppo brevi per cancellare il mio ano. Io sono grasso e ho un gluteo come due lune non mi nuotare nell'oceano perché ho paura di arpioni.

Sono grasso e un cieco può dire con i suoni che faccio e il modo in cui sento l'odore.

Calorie? Circa 1000 al giorno e se ho mangiato meno vorrei ingrassare comunque.

Sono grasso e io sono di cattivo umore. Ho aspettato cinque minuti! Mi serva il mio cibo! perché sono grasso!"
====================

It's in Italian.

====================
Italian to English translation:

"I'm fat and I'll tell you what. My arms are too short to delete my anus. I'm fat and I have a buttock as two moons I swim in the ocean because I'm afraid of harpoons.

Are fat and a blind man can say with the sounds that I do and how I smell.

Calories Around 1000 a day and if I ate less fat I would anyway.

I'm fat and I'm in a bad mood. I waited five minutes! I need my food! they are fat!"
====================

I can even translate text into Hebrew.

====================
English to Hebrew

אני שמנה ואני אגיד לך מה. הזרועות שלי קצר מדי כדי למחוק את פי הטבעת שלי. אני שמנה יש לי ישבן כמו שני ירחים אני שוחה בים כי אני פוחד harpoons.

האם שומן אדם עיוור יכול להגיד עם הצלילים כי אני ואיך אני מריח.

בסביבות שנת 1000 קלוריות ביום, אם אכלתי פחות שומן הייתי ממילא.

אני שמנה ואני במצב רוח רע. חיכיתי חמש דקות! אני צריך את האוכל שלי! הם שמנים
====================

I guess there's no Hebrew word for harpoon.

Oh well!

Mike Hunt said...

The Italians know food. There is nothing sexier than the wide ass of a hot Italian woman.

Big Lard Ass said...

Dear Proud FA,

Us Germans also know and love food as well. Also, my African-Korean fiancee is pretty slammin' hot, as her gut is immense and her thighs rub together when she walks, so she gets severe chafing in between her legs if she walks too much. She's thinking of getting a Jazzy like Teddy Bear.

Regards,

Big Lard Ass

Anonymous said...

"After a few cups of Proud FA's Chocolate Eggnog Seduction these red hot & sexy SSBBWs will be sliding up and down your chimney as you shout out with glee. HO HO! HO!!" Hilarious!

Rev. Lard Ass said...

Dear Everyday BBW,

Hell yeah! Chocolate Eggnog Seduction is great for seducing BBWs, and even SSBBWs (though they take more alcohol to get liquored up, it is definitely well worth the effort).

Most SSBBWs, when they get drunk, go into sexual overdrive, and it becomes extremely easy to have sex with them.

I never let fat women "ride" on top of me though, for two very critical reasons. First is that my enormous gut would get in the way, and it would be impossible for her to get on that position, pretty much. Secondly, BBWs and SSBBWs are not very stable while straddling you, and so there would be a huge risk of her breaking my penis if she lost her balance. Therefore, I just use some of the sexual positions that I have invented especially for porking BBWs and SSBBWs.

Regards,

Rev. Lard Ass

Anonymous said...

Hard to imagine that there are women with intelligence or class that would pose for these pictures. Hope they are not moms or anyone's role models. Trailer park girls.
I'm sure they were paid well to make fools out of themselves.