Friday, June 10, 2011

George Carlin On Fat People: I'm Glad This Fat Hater is DEAD!

I Fat Bastard jumped for joy when Jack LaLanne bought the farm and I jumped to joy when this gluttony phobic George Carlin croaked. Now this skinny runt is worm food. ROT IN HELL STICK BOY!

Comments?

5 comments:

Big Fat Heretic said...

Hello Fat Bastard.

You know, there was once a time when I use to enjoy listening to George Carlin, when he was my favorite comedian.

But then, after his hate filled comments about fat people, I didn't listen to him anymore.

I did not think what he had said was funny.

OK, now I don't mind some comedian getting up on the stage and telling jokes or stories about fat people, or even making fun of fat people.

But only as long as it doesn't involve hate filled comments.

Hell, I even joke about my own obesity, and sometimes make I even fun of myself!

I actually like some fat jokes! I think some are actually very funny!

I mean, like, seriously! I think we fat people are kind of comical the way we waddle when we walk, and struggling to squeeze through doors too narrow for us, and how our wide butts hang down over the sides of a chair or stool, and how we can't sit in chairs with arm-rests or how some of us need to sit on two or three chairs.

I actually find it amusing!

Also, we fat people make the best comedians. I have seen fat comedians making fun of themselves and joking about their own obesity.

I love being obese! It's fun to be obese! We fat people come in such a wide variety of different shapes.

It would be a very dull and uninteresting and boring world without us fat people.

Being a fat person myself, when I go out shopping, like, at a Walmart, I love seeing other fat people around.

We are fun to watch!

So, to all the comedians out there, go ahead and make fun of us fat people, and laugh at us, and make jokes about how big we are.

I love fat jokes!

I believe that being obese should be a party.

Also, I think we fat people should not wear dark colors, especially during the summer.

I believe we fat people should wear light cool colors, or even bright happy colors, even if wearing wild patterns makes us look bigger and fatter, especially if wearing bright colors and wild patterns make us look bigger and fatter!

Fat people should wear shirts with horizontal strips and wear pants with plaid, and not long pants either, but shorts, and proudly show off our fat legs and dimpled knees!

And apple-shaped guys should wear their pants half-way down on their butts and were shirts that don't completely cover the belly, and proudly go around out in public showing off your bellybutton and butt-crack.

And pear-shaped guys should wear baggy plaid or checkered shorts to make their butts look broader, and clothes that make a pear-shaped fat guy look more effeminate.

And pear-shaped women should wear light colored pleated short skirts to make their hips look even broader.

And so, we should proudly wear colors and patterns to emphasize our size!

To be continued below . . . . .

Big Fat Heretic said...

. . . continued from above.

We should publicly celebrate our obesity, and be proud of our great round shapes and growing to enormous size!

In fact, we should have a public dancing party.

This should be our theme song . . .

--------------------
I'm big and fat and roly-poly!

I'm Big and fat!

Big and fat and roly-poly!

I'm Big and fat!

Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!

Fat and roly-poly! Oh! Roly-poly!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!
Oh! Roly-poly! Oh! roly-poly!

Repeat, and fade . . . . .
--------------------

And while the music is playing with a heavy rock beat, and deep stereo base, like a boom box . . .

We would all be dancing on our short fat legs, waving our fat flabby arms high above our heads, and stomping our feet, and swaying our hips, and jiggling our great big bellies.

Obesity is something to celebrate.

So, go ahead all you comedians.

Go ahead and make fun of us fat people.

Because, we do have a sense of humor, because, we are, after all, fat and jolly! And are even able to laugh at ourselves! OK?

But also, remember this . . .

While we don't mind, and even enjoy humorous comments about our obesity, Please, please, just refrain from saying anything full of hate.

Because we have feelings too.

A fat person's face is actually, even more expressive of our emotions.

When a fat person is happy, with a big smile on his/her face, you'll notice the dimples in the chubby cheeks, and when we laugh, our double-chins quiver, and our bellies jiggle, so even our bodies are more expressive of our emotions, we are a-quiver all over.

But also . . .

When a fat person is sad, you'll notice the tears flowing down our chubby cheeks, and down on our plump round faces.

We fat people are actually more emotional, and passionate.

Our feelings, both happy and sad, run very deep, and when you're really obese, then that is really deep!

Because of our great size, there is more of us to feel both the joy, and the sorrow.

So, to all you comedians out there.

Make jokes if you must.

Just stop with the hate filled comments. OK?

Because we have not don't anything to harm anybody.

Most of us fat people are really gentle and harmless creatures.

That's because, having a lot of fat on our bodies slows us down, and tends to take away the aggression, causing us be be more gentle, and docile.

And sometimes, even more easily taken advantage of.

And that lease us more vulnerable to hurt, and emotional pain.

The fat we have on our bodies may protect us from the cold, and act as padding to protect us from injuries.

But it dose not block out the sting form emotionally painful, and hurtful, and hate filled comments.

So, please do refrain.

Fat Bastardo said...

I think that Carlin deep down was jealous of us fatlings. Maybe a fat girl rejected him or beat him up.

A lot of the things he puts down are good things. I love malls and convenient stores and they are very fat friendly. The food court in the mall is great!!! It's a glutton paradise.

Convenient store are great but it sucks having to pump your own gas.

When Proud FA used to work as a 7/11 as a manager he created a policy to pump gas for his disabled customers. That way he would pump gas for BBWs and bring them candy. He also used to box up the day old donuts than would normally be tossed into the dumpster and give them to the BBWs. He used to say that the way to a BBW's heart and twat was through and under her belly. He got in trouble for doing it that in spite of the fact that gas sales were way up. He porked hundreds of them but the district manager stopped the policy because he, like George Carling was a fat phobic.

I have a great idea. Let me know what you think of it. I would pay a gas jockey a buck to pump my gas and I am sure a lot of people, not just us fatlings would do that. It's a real pain in the ass waddling out of my Escalade just to pump gas and like me my Escalade is fuel hungry and like me it needs to be fueled up a lot.

I would love to just sit in the comfort of my car while some thingling especially a hot skinny chick gases up my Escalade, checks my tires and oil, washes my windshield, and brings me a donut and a cappacino. I'd pay extra for that especially if it's raining.

Fat Bastardo said...

As to comedians...fatlings are by far the funniest. Who's better than John Candy, John Belushi, Jackie Gleason, Curly from the Three Stooges, WC Fields, Chris Farley, Ralphie May who was once nearly 800 pounds (He was funniest then)Gabriel Ingesias, Oliver Hardy, Cedric the Entertainer, Rodney Dangerfield, ect ect ect???

Fat men really are jolly but fat girls are often miserable although they are funny the way they waddle.

Anonymous said...

If you think you've got a big body dont be concerned, i have a lean body and people insult me as well saying I cant even lift 100lbs, so what are you supposed to do? One or the other? It's all simply a joke for some jester to show off to some people because the glowing box in their livingroom says they should. Ignore it, it's in your best interest.