Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Fat Accpetance Terms

Lexicon of Fat Acceptance Terms

According to an Sarcastic Antifat Acceptance Blogger

Anorexia: A very common condition that results in the deaths of MILLIONS of women each year. The primary cause is skinny models, and Hollywood waifs.

Bing Eating: A term that is used to describe a non existent condition.

Comment Section: A section of a blog where adherents post loud praise for the fat acceptance blog author’s post .

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Dan Savage: The most evil man alive!


Diet: An extreme form of calorie restriction that occasionally results in temporary weight loss. This activity poses a high risk or causing anorexia.

Diet Industry: An evil Cabal of Jews, Trilaterialists, and late night infomercial advertisers who are attempting to dominate the world through manipulating health studies to encourage the sale of hoodia, and frozen meal entrees.

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Douchehound: An intellectual term that Kate Harding uses to describe those who she particularly disagrees with.

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Exercise: Strenuous physical activity, often engaged in by fat acceptance types, for example: playing with Cats. However, exercise has not been shown to result in weight loss. In fact many Fat Acceptance adherents exercised 2 hours a day with no results while eating nothing but lettuce, and found that no weight loss occurred.

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Fashion Industry: A conspiratorial organization that is hell bent on forcing women of size to wear frumpy clothing, and to promote anorexia by utilizing uber-skinny models.

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Fat and Fit: A scientific fact proven by the next to last place finishes by “fat girl on a bike” in many competitive triathlons.
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Fat Hate Bingo: A method in which valid arguments are answered by shouting “Bingo” in a juvenile fashion.

Genetic Set point: If one eats intuitively (i.e. what ever the heck you want), your body will eventually reach its’ genetic weight set point. Note: sometimes a genetic set point will shift; typically upward do not be alarmed.

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Intuitive Eating: Eat whatever the hell you want!

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Kate Harding: A feminist prophet who offers obscenities of wisdom to those who willing to ignore science and accept her angry faith.

Lifestyle Change: See Diet. There is no known difference.

Myfatspouse.com: The most evil web site in the entire universe. It is highly inadvisable to link to www.myfatspouse.com.

Obesity Epidemic: An over exaggerated media catch phrase. Simply saying “booga, booga” makes it go away.

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Real Women: Overweight women who are sexier than skinnier women. This should be an obvious fact when discussing this subject on a fat acceptance blog. Remember, that all women are real women when discussing the subject with non fat acceptance types.

Second (2nd) Law of Thermodynamics (calories out must equal calories in): Physics is sexist!

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Straw Men: A valid argument against fat acceptance.

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Troll: Someone who posts a comment on a fat acceptance blog who does not match the author’s ideology EXACTLY.

6 comments:

BELLY BOY said...

Hello Bigger Fatter Bloggers,

I was recently in a very severe Eating Accident and I almost died.

I was having some fried chicken and a bone became lodged in my throat, almost completely cutting off my air supply. I rang for the butler but he couldn't do Heimlich since my belly is too large. He called 911, and asked for a bariatric ambulance.

Of course, they sent a standard thinling ambulance, and called for the bariatric one. By this time I was nearly unconscious from the diminished oxygen flow. If the bone had been a little bigger it would have completely obstructed my breathing and I would have died within 5 minutes.

Well, when they were moving me to bring me onto the ambulance, the bone shifted and completely blocked my windpipe. I couldn't breathe at all and I was flailing around desperately to get their attention and I made the "chocking" motion with my hands, and so one of the EMTs had to do an emergency tracheotomy, cutting a hole below where the bone was stuck. Suddenly, after 2 minutes with no air, I was able to breathe again, coughing up the blood that was streaming down into the hole in my throat.

Both of my legs were fractured when I fell out of my bed when I started choking initially. Anyway, the doctors saved me, and my throat has been patched up. They have also assigned me a social worker to talk to, and she's really been helping me through some of the tough issues of my days. They're not pushing bariatric surgery on me, and tell me that I have to make my own choices about what kind of life I want, and that it could be possible for me to have a normal life since I am so young still, but it would be a lot of hard work, and I don't like the sound of hard work.

I like a hot plate of food, not a lot of work, with no big plates of food as a reward.

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know what is going on in Belly Boy's world, and where I've been for the last few weeks. It's been a long road of recovery. Rev. Lard Ass has been by my side constantly, and has had 2 more individuals arrested for going against him.

They tried to burglarize the Rev's house, breaking in through the glass door at the back of his house, and Rev came down with his 12 gauge military-style shotgun and held him there while Jesslyn called the police. He was alerted by his twin German Shepards, Dusseldorf and Hamburg.

The Rev is considering going into hiding, or moving abroad, in order to avoid future attacks. Some person or some organization with vast resources keeps sending hired goons to try to take him down, but thankfully they have failed.

BELLY BOY, OUT

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good morning Belly Boy:

I'm so glad you survived your recent ordeal. That must have been very traumatic.

Sorry to hear that Reverend Lard Ass is now being harassed by thugs who mean to do him harm.

He needs to get some great big guard dogs to protect his residence.

Sorry I haven't been posting much lately.

I have been working on my YouTube channel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/BigFatHeretic

I've been adding more educational Playlists on science and evolution.

I plan to get back to working on my Biggest Fattest Blog soon.

In the meantime.

I wish you guys the best.

May the Great Belly God bless you.

Fat Bastardo said...

@ BellyBoy,

WOW! What an ordeal! Glad to hear you made a full recovery. I bet eating became difficult with the hole they put in your throat.

Hey, is that social worker they assigned you a hottie?

SHEESH! Then they fucked with the Rev!! That's cold!

I have always been a big fan of military shotguns and German Shepherds. There is nothing cooler looking than a fat guy with a mil speck 12 gauge and dual German Shepherd snarling at some punk.

Fat Bastardo said...

@ Teddy,

I share your concerns for the Rev. I don't know why they don't train attack pigs. Pigs are the smartest of all four legged critters. I would love to have few 500 pound angry boars to sic on some of the punks who oink at me. I'd say to them, "You want an oink? I got your oink right here." and then I would sic 1500 pounds of angry poricine fury on them. A pig can not only inflict a horrible bite but it can gore it victims with its tusks and unlike a dog it won't stop with just a mere biting it will eat them alive. Pigs know about eating!

Unknown said...

Yeah I kind of don't like the whole "anti" theme of some bloggers. I personally think that you can be both fat and healthy and skinny and healthy. I actually read an article about just that
http://www.bigfatandhealthy.com/fat-and-healthy/

Fat Bastardo said...

We take a different view.

We know that obesity makes people unhealthy but we think eating all that food is worth 20 less years of life and diabetes and stuff.