As your go to source for all things fat, Bigger Fatter Blog salutes Friendly Restaurants for their latest kid friendly, fat friendly, glutton friendly creation the Mac & Cheese Quesadilla. As usual the fat phobic alarmists and Chicken Littles like MeMe Roth and her army jack booted thugs at National Action Against Obesity and her fat phobic blog are whining about a tasty meal Friendly's Restaurants has created for our piglets and future gluttons. Taking a page from the Heart Attack Grill's cookbook, Friendly's is giving to kids what the Heart Attack Grill is giving to adults.
I have always said that fat kids are cute and Friendly's agrees and they are do their part to plump up our pre-teen piglets. Leave it to MeMe Roth and her fanatical fat phobics in the food Gestapo to rale against a fat and glutton friendly eatery like Friendly's. Here are what the food kops have written. I, Fat Bastard, will insert my comments in in red.
Friendly's knows how to get attention: Find a ridiculously unhealthy meal, and then make it even more artery-clogging. (Try incredibly yummy and stick to the ribs meal)
The chain has come up with a way to put even more cheese in a quesadilla, releasing a Mac & Cheese Quesadilla. And it's even on the kids' menu. (..And what's wrong with that?) The menu recommends you add bacon (Bacon is good because it comes from the noble pig.) or a "Friendly Frank" (Who'd want an Unfriendly Frank?) to complete your meal -- but not before you pick your drink, which can be cotton-candy flavored, (Kids love cotton candy!) and an ice-cream dessert. Combine the quesadilla with the unhealthiest drink and dessert, and the meal sets your kid back 2,270 calories, 45 grams of saturated fat, 3,320 mg of sodium and 23 grams of carbohydrates, according to The Consumerist. (...so fucking what?!)
This isn't the first time Friendly's has released fattening fare. (Good for Friendly's for giving customers what they want)! Back in June, they announced the Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt, which actually has grilled cheese sandwiches for buns, on the adult menu. The only way to top that was to offer something equally unhealthy, but for the children. Let's hope this quesadilla comes with a required jog around the restaurant. (Kids might barf up all that food if they start running around.)
Well fed kids are sedate. Pre diabetes is a cure for ADHD and ADD. Sugary treats calm kids down.
Friendly's fat kid friendly menu.
Cute little glutton. Food is love mom.
Yeah yeah yeah I can here it now from the crazy jealous man-hating fat girls in the old fat acceptance who always have their yeasty panties in a bunch about something, "why are they using a skinny BOY instead of a fat girl like Little Lotta?" That typical knee jerk reaction misses the point of Friendly's marketing genius. Why show a fat kid who is in less needs of fattening up? Seeing this skinny tyke will induce fat mothers to feed their kids even more fattening food and besides Little Lotta had a plus size modeling assignment for Orville Reddenbacher's Popcorn.
22 comments:
Hey Teddy, I beat you to the BFB Buffet this time. The reason I did is I think it might be nice if you could create a 2010 version of the cartoon classic Little Lotta. She even predated Fat Albert....HEY HEY HEY!
Good evening Fat Bastard.
Hey! I remember Little Lotta comic books when I was a kid.
You know, she was very strong, and she didn't put up with any shit from the bullies, and she protected her friend from bullies.
She was so strong, she could lift a car over her head, and WOW! Could that gal eat!!!
I believe that the comic book, Little Lotta was a positive role model for fat kids, and all kids fat or thin.
But you forgot to include comic books like Herbie-AKA-Fat Fury and also, Fat Man The Human Flying Saucer the only super hero with three identities, and Humphrey Pennyworth, another fat comic book character that I use to see in the Sunday papers when I was a kid.
Here is a direct link to an image of Humphrey Pennyworth that you might want to add to this blog.
http://scoop.diamondgalleries.com/public/news_images/4/41358_87374_4.jpg
And here is a direct link to an image of Fat Fury - AKA - Herbie Popnecker that you may want to add.
http://livingbetweenwednesdays.com/wp-content/uploads/image/Tiina/hfatfury.jpg
And finally, a direct link to an image of Fat Man The Human Flying Saucer - AKA - Van Crawford.
http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/a/awefour.jpg
These were my favorite comic book heroes when I was a kid.
Yeah, I'm going to start working on a 2010 version of Little Lotta.
Thank for the idea.
Teddy you come through again! I would really love it if you could do an article on these retro cartoons. I don't have the artistic skills to do it but you do.
I particularly loved your modernized 21st century version of Fat Albert. It would be a real treat and public service to all fatlings and lovers of cartoon and comic book art if you could work your magic. I know how busy you are fighting Christer Nazis who would remove science from out educational system and replace it with fairy tales but if you get a break in the action even a short article updating these wonderful cartoon characters of yesteryear.
I was not allowed to read comic books when I was a kid but I do remember reading Little Lotta at the barbershop. I bet you could buy the rights to it and modernize it to fit today's body sizes.
I am not familiar with modern comic books but I would guess there are not a lot of great fat characters. That's sad because back in the days of Little Lotta there were not many fatlings.
We need fat friendly comic books.
One more thing. I would like to write an article about fat friendly comics but I generally only publish 1 article a week so it will be a while. Maybe Proud FA can do something. He did tell me that he used to beat off to Little Lotta comic books.
I did like the comic book Hot Stuff and Casper the Friendly Ghost both of whom could become Hot Fat Stuff and Casper the Fat Friendly Ghost and he could haunt MeMe Roth. LOL! She's such a hot little devil! 8-)
Good evening Fat Bastard.
I'm sorry to hear that you weren't allowed to read comic books when you were a kid.
My mother encouraged me to read, and I had an extensive collection of comic books.
Yes, it was beck in the 1960s when we had Little Lotta, Fat Fury, Fat Man the human Flying saucer, and Humphrey.
Oh! I forgot to mention, Gasoline Alley, there was a fat guy named Slim. He was not enormously obese like Fat Fury, or Humphrey, but he was fat.
Yeah, we don't have hardly any fat cartoon characters anymore. It's a damn shame.
In the meantime, I'm working on my enhanced version of Little Lotta.
I'm depicting here in her late teens about 18 or 19 years old.
I decided to make Little Lotta apple-shaped.
Yes, her legs are much fatter, and right now she's still wearing the same green long sleeved shirt with the white buttons and the same short white pleated skirt.
But I'm going to make another modification, changing the color of the ribbon in her hair, giving her longer shoulder length blond hair, a different color sleeveless blouse, a short pleated skirt a different color so that she looks more contemporary.
But she has become really super super apple-shaped with her great big huge round belly hanging down over the front of her skirt and her shirt won't completely cover her belly, so she will go around out in public, showing off her bellybutton.
Also, her love-handle are now wider than her hips.
The reason why I chose to make her more apple-shaped is because she is a super glutton always stuffing herself, so her belly has become so huge it hangs down over the front of her skirt.
That is because she has really stretched out her stomach from years of eating massive quantities of food.
I remember reading one episode in the comic book where Little Lotta went to an All You Can Eat Buffet. The price was only one dollar, and she had 29 tray loads of food.
Little Lotta is such an unmitigated glutton that she make Prader Willi Syndrome look like anorexia!
So, the way she stuffs her belly, it's no wonder it hangs down over the front of her skirt, and why she became apple-shaped.
Also, obese gals who are more apple-shaped tend to be more aggressive than obese people who are pear-shaped.
And the way she could fight off the bullies, spinning them over her head, when it came to fighting off bullies, she was very aggressive.
So, I decided to go with making Little Lotta apple-shaped.
Anyway, when I'm done, I'm going to E-mail you my drawings as an attachment if that's OK.
I would like for you to see them real soon.
TB, don't forget the classic comic gluttons Garfield and Snoopy! Cookie Monster would be another good character to give a little 21st century bloat to...
Fat Albert and Little Lotta. I see the perfect storm for feederism porn.
When I think Friendly's I think ice cream, and busting on an ice cream parlor for being unhealthy is a bit weak. How many of us bought Friendly's latest special so we could get the free sundae? *raises hand*
If you're worried about your kids' weight and you still take them out to restaurants where ice cream is their biggest seller, you're an idiot and the fault is yours, not Friendly's or your kids for being unable to say no to the awesome desserts they're tempted with.
Teddy, I am so glad you are doing this. Maybe when the crazy NAAFA girls see modern Little Lotta they will actually gain the empowerment that they claim to have now. Like you said Little Lotta was an extreme glutton. With today's glutton friendly foods Little Lotta would be the size of our own Belly Boy. Back in Little Lotta's day a Coke was 6 ounces.
IMO and in the opinion of Proud FA Little Lotta should be the poster girl for female fat acceptance.
You are so right about apples being more aggressive than pears. Pears are soft and mushy compared to apple and the same is true for people. When I gave that punk in the Golden Corral that oinking and I knocked his table over that was classic apple behavior. I must say that I owe by deeper understanding of apple vs pear to the fact that I read your cutting edge work on the subject.
You would have handled that punk differently than I did. I am sure you would have used your keen wit to cut him to the quick but then again you are a Teddy pear bear and I an an ornery grizzly bear.
@ Man of Girth,
Parents most certainly are in control of what kids eat. We need some parents to feed their kids in a Spartan manner because we are running out of thinlings but overall it is cruel to make kids eat vegetables and deprive them of the tasty glutton fare that is so available today. We would not have glutton fare were it not for gluttons. Yankee stadium may be the house that Babe Ruth built but us fatlings built the fast food industry and I for one take great pride in knowing that I was a small part of that.
I bet if you took all the fast food restaurants in the world and placed them end to end they would be bigger than the Great Wall of China and a hell of a lot more fun.
@FB
It just makes me mad when parents instill the whole guilt/glutton thing into kiddies when they don't know any better. When the young'uns grow into adults and then they want to gluttonize, that's their choice.
Maybe I'm projecting my own past as a fat kid on the topic, but I would have HATED my parents for taking me to Friendly's and was forced to eat the yucky salad while everyone else was chowing down on burgers, fries, milkshakes, and 8,000 calorie Frankensundae's. Instead of trying to teach a kid to pick the diet water on a menu, I personally think it's smarter to teach them that when they eat out, 97.61546516161282% of the choices/portion sizes on the menu will cause you to gain weight, and if you don't want to gain weight, you don't eat at restaurants. Besides, paying $15 for a salad and Diet Coke is a bit silly.
@Man of Girth,
This is a good teaching moment. The only difference between a parent indulging their kids or making them be a Spartan the results will be the same. Both kids will get fat but the kids of the gluttonous parents will have a huge head start. Some kids will follow what their Spartan parents teaching into adulthood and that is a good thing because we need thinlings to service us.
Only an abusive parent would deny their kids all the goodies they want. I think somebody should turn MeMe Roth in for child abuse. Her kids are like kids were in the 60's and 70's. They're skinny and they run around like Banshees. Sure they will have a longer life but quality beats quantity every time.
@ Teddy Bear,
I have been thinking more about this fat super hero the thing and we fatlings and gluttons need a super hero now more than ever.
Today Little Lotta would be bed bound or in a giant power chair. The future Little Lotta of any other Fat Super hero would rely on technology like atomic powered fat mobiles.
The thinling have Batman so what about a character based on Batman called Fatman? His youthful ward could be a bed bound fat kid like our own Belly Boy but he could be a cyber crusader and computer genius. The Bat mobile would be that fat mobile like a big SUV based on the Cadilac Escalade.
Instead of scaling building Fat man a Round Robin can create earthquakes and tsunamis to vanquish their foes. Round Robin could also create a flabbalanche to trap his foes.
I know that you are too humble to do this but I think you may want to base a super hero on yourself and make him head of the Legion of Lard.
Good evening Fat Bastard.
Actually, Little Lotta, as a super morbidly obese apple-shaped young adult would not be bed bound.
If you remember, when she was only a child in grade school, she had great strength.
When bullies would tease her about being fat, she would pick them up with one hand and spin them over her head.
She could lift a car over her head!
She enjoyed taking long walks out in the country for fresh air, and one day she saw a construction worker painting a line down the middle of a road, and he goofed. The line had some curves in it and he was so embarrassed. It was a curving road, and she just picked up the end of the road and yanked real hard on it, and the road became straight all the way to the horizon, thus straightening the line as well.
Then there was another adventure where a lady was stopped at a railroad crossing and the train was stopped not moving at all, and she was in a hurry to get somewhere. So, Little Lotta picked up her car with one hand, held it over her head, climbed up the ladder on the side of the boxcar, then carried her car over the top of the box car, and climbed down the ladder on the other side, and set her car gently down on the road so that that she could drive on to her destination.
Little Lotta is as strong as Superman!
You notice she has really thick legs, and those legs of her's are very strong.
You really don't want to mess with Little Lotta!
No, she would not be bed bound at all. Not with her great strength.
Now, in my more adult version of Little Lotta, she is in her late teens, about 18 or 19 years old, and she weighs over a ton, and she can tap dance and do the ballet despite being apple-shaped with her huge round belly hanging down over the front of her skirt and down to her knees. So, she must wear longer skirts now that are longer then knee length so people can see she's wearing a skirt.
Also, in my more up to date version, Little Lotta is not known as Big Lana! She is now about 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighs about 3,580 pounds!
So, as a young adult, she is even stronger than she was as a little child.
Now, when she goes to an All You Can Eat Buffet, instead of having 29 tray loads of food, she eats about 150 tray load of food.
Then when she come home, she polishes off about 10 gallons of ice cream and she's still hungry!
And she's about to graduate from high school, and all the bullies and all the jocks are afraid of her because she once beat up the entire football team after some of them had bullied around some computer nerd.
She will be going to college, and the football team has been put on notice, not to bully anybody around, because Big Lana is coming to their University.
She will be the big boss lady on campus!
@ Teddy,
You are right. Little Lotta had super human strength so it would follow that the fatter she got the stronger she would get.
I guess I would like a super obese chair bound or bed bound super hero for the millions of fatling who are unable to ambulate or ambulate well.
Maybe a bed bound fat super hero with mega hacking skills or psychic or telekenetic ability.
Hubert St. Johns - The Incredible Fat:
http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/stjohnshubert.htm
I actually owned that comic.
@Man of Girth,
Thank you for your research and contribution. There certainly were some great fatlings of yesteryear.
I would like see an Ana Girl and Fat Boy comic. A fat boy who protects Ana Girl from mean fat girls and Ana Girl adores Fat Boy.
Feeder Men would also be a good series. They would be like the A-Team and Charlies Angels only they would drive a big lunch wagon and give away free food to fat girls and the would have a multi-billionaire benefactor who funds their mission.
Here is a link to an image of Hubert St Johns. This is the kind of stuff I am talking about!
http://www.leaderslair.com/noexcuses/hulkan14pic3.gif
Thank you again Man of Girth!
Unfortunately, like most people with extra gravitational pull, Hubert died way too soon (he only lasted one issue :( ), but if you can find Incredible Hulk Annual #14 in a bargain bin someplace, it's worth a read.
Big Bertha's another SSBBWBBQ heroine in the Marvel Universe:
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Big_Bertha_%28comics%29
At one point she went on a date with Deadpool, which was funny because throughout the comic Deadpool hints that's he's into feederism, but Bertha refuses to go into her fat mode for him (Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular #1 - a very goofy read). Deadpool, btw, is always gorging himself on junk food, but his regen powers revert him to his regular superhero build.
There's the crime lord Kingpin, who's been the butt of Spider-Man jokes for decades. He was drawn as ridiculously fat way back in the Daredevil: Love and War graphic novel by Bill Sienkiewicz. I mean, the Kingpin's wearing your grandmother's couch upholstery as a vest. -That- big.
The Blob's a Marvel villain that appears from time to time. He was briefly in the Wolverine movie in the boxing scene. Blob's shining Marvel moment was when he was running for his life from the Marvel Zombies (he didn't get very far).
The New Mutant Karma became a superfat villian for a short gluttonous period of time, drawn again by Sienkiewicz. Spawn's antagonist the Clown is another gangster of gluttonous girth. There was an X-Men villain who used his mutant son to siphon off all this energy to the point of agonizing pain and he got superfat before he eventually exploded...
Notice the not so-subtle insinuation that fat = evil. If I started really thinking and added not-as-fat comic fatlings like Night Owl from Watchmen, Daredevil's friend Foggy Nelson, and Zephyr (Zeppelin) from Valiant's Harbinger, it could be said (not totally sure since I'm in half-assed mode here) that fatlings are also pigeonholed as reluctant hero/comedy relief type of roles.
Someone needs to create a positive fat superhero! If only there were an artist out there...
Unfortunately, like most people with extra gravitational pull, Hubert died way too soon (he only lasted one issue :( ), but if you can find Incredible Hulk Annual #14 in a bargain bin someplace, it's worth a read.
Big Bertha's another SSBBWBBQ heroine in the Marvel Universe:
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Big_Bertha_%28comics%29
At one point she went on a date with Deadpool, which was funny because throughout the comic Deadpool hints that's he's into feederism, but Bertha refuses to go into her fat mode for him (Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular #1 - a very goofy read). Deadpool, btw, is always gorging himself on junk food, but his regen powers revert him to his regular superhero build.
There's the crime lord Kingpin, who's been the butt of Spider-Man jokes for decades. He was drawn as ridiculously fat way back in the Daredevil: Love and War graphic novel by Bill Sienkiewicz. I mean, the Kingpin's wearing your grandmother's couch upholstery as a vest. -That- big.
The Blob's a Marvel villain that appears from time to time. He was briefly in the Wolverine movie in the boxing scene. Blob's shining Marvel moment was when he was running for his life from the Marvel Zombies (he didn't get very far).
The New Mutant Karma became a superfat villian for a short gluttonous period of time, drawn again by Sienkiewicz. Spawn's antagonist the Clown is another gangster of gluttonous girth. There was an X-Men villain who used his mutant son to siphon off all this energy to the point of agonizing pain and he got superfat before he eventually exploded...
Notice the not so-subtle insinuation that fat = evil. If I started really thinking and added not-as-fat comic fatlings like Night Owl from Watchmen, Daredevil's friend Foggy Nelson, and Zephyr (Zeppelin) from Valiant's Harbinger, it could be said (not totally sure since I'm in half-assed mode here) that fatlings are also pigeonholed as reluctant hero/comedy relief type of roles.
(um, delete that last post... and this)
I think that I am the next fat superhero! The docs say it is a medical miracle that I am still alive now despite my weight. I think it's funny that I have gained hundreds of pounds while in their care.
Super Belly Boy is a super hero who discovers his powers while he was at a pie eating contest. He realizes that he has the power to eat a pie in one bite, and his moobs have the power to move about independently, allowing him to "walk" while laying belly down, with his johnson as the third "leg", allowing for excellent tripod style movement.
He has male pattern baldness on his head, which is shiny. He can use the bald spot to focus a beam of light at his opponents to vaporize their bodies within 4 or 5 seconds, all that is left is a pile of ashes.
When he is cornered by too many super villains, he uses a special gas attack to escape, much like an octopus. The gas produces both a strong methane smell, as well as a thick brown cloud that obscures vision.
His other powers include super high blood sugar levels, which allow him to excel at blood sugar contests.
His arch nemesis is known as The Reverend BLAH, who used to be his mentor and was responsible for giving him his super powers, but he became evil.
So yeah, that's my comic. I've started drawing it too. I just have to say though, I am so glad that Big Lard Ass is no longer going to be contributing to Bigger Fatter Blog, he was lame.
Belly Boy, out
Belly Boy said...
I think that I am the next fat superhero! The docs say it is a medical miracle that I am still alive now despite my weight. I think it's funny that I have gained hundreds of pounds while in their care.
Super Belly Boy is a super hero who discovers his powers while he was at a pie eating contest. He realizes that he has the power to eat a pie in one bite, and his moobs have the power to move about independently, allowing him to "walk" while laying belly down, with his johnson as the third "leg", allowing for excellent tripod style movement.
He has male pattern baldness on his head, which is shiny. He can use the bald spot to focus a beam of light at his opponents to vaporize their bodies within 4 or 5 seconds, all that is left is a pile of ashes.
When he is cornered by too many super villains, he uses a special gas attack to escape, much like an octopus. The gas produces both a strong methane smell, as well as a thick brown cloud that obscures vision.
His other powers include super high blood sugar levels, which allow him to excel at blood sugar contests.
His arch nemesis is known as The Reverend BLAH, who used to be his mentor and was responsible for giving him his super powers, but he became evil.
So yeah, that's my comic. I've started drawing it too. I just have to say though, I am so glad that Big Lard Ass is no longer going to be contributing to Bigger Fatter Blog, he was lame.
Belly Boy, out
You gaining while under doctor's care in a hospital where the watch fatling like hawks in a tribute to your sly fat boy ingenuity. I think I can speak for are millions of readers when I say, "WE ARE IMPRESSED!"
I like the Super Belly Boy concept a lot!
We at BFB remain saddened that you and Rev Big Lard Ass are still on the outs. We hope that you guys can bury the hatchet, break bread and chew the fat but sometimes things are not meant to be.
Dear Fat Bastard,
Big Lard Ass called me today and he was very upset, and he feels very rejected by the BFB community unfortunately. He brought a couple pizzas over and he ate half a pizza, while I ate 12 slices of pizza, plus 4 liters of cola, a loaf of garlic bread, and a Belly Boy Burger. Oh how I've been missing those.
So him and I are friends again, and we've decided to let bygones be bygones. He was telling me though that he just can't deal with the anti-Jesus and anti-God vibes he's been getting on here. He's a very sensitive man.
Then we had a liquor drinking contest, which I easily won. Big Lard Ass passed out on the other hospital bed and he's snoring there. He wanted to drive home, but I told him no way because he is so drunk and he'd either cause an accident or get arrested for a DWI. I hid his car keys between my rolls of flesh, so he can't get to them.
His thin acolyte came looking for him and she told me how upset he's been about the whole situation over at BFB, but I guess this just wasn't the right fit for him. He was talking a lot about starting his own site, the Grand Faedari Initiative, and maybe his own restaurant selling Belly Boy Burgers, and maybe using me as the mascot. That would be kinda cool.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I'm in control
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I've got a new goal,
I'm gonna hang out with my buddy- the BLA,
We're gonna get this place rolling and the walls will start to sway,
We're gonna eat up all the food,
Don't mind my attitude,
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I'm just a giant dude!
Belly Boy, out
Belly Boy said...
Dear Fat Bastard,
Big Lard Ass called me today and he was very upset, and he feels very rejected by the BFB community unfortunately. He brought a couple pizzas over and he ate half a pizza, while I ate 12 slices of pizza, plus 4 liters of cola, a loaf of garlic bread, and a Belly Boy Burger. Oh how I've been missing those.
So him and I are friends again, and we've decided to let bygones be bygones. He was telling me though that he just can't deal with the anti-Jesus and anti-God vibes he's been getting on here. He's a very sensitive man.
Then we had a liquor drinking contest, which I easily won. Big Lard Ass passed out on the other hospital bed and he's snoring there. He wanted to drive home, but I told him no way because he is so drunk and he'd either cause an accident or get arrested for a DWI. I hid his car keys between my rolls of flesh, so he can't get to them.
His thin acolyte came looking for him and she told me how upset he's been about the whole situation over at BFB, but I guess this just wasn't the right fit for him. He was talking a lot about starting his own site, the Grand Faedari Initiative, and maybe his own restaurant selling Belly Boy Burgers, and maybe using me as the mascot. That would be kinda cool.
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I'm in control
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I've got a new goal,
I'm gonna hang out with my buddy- the BLA,
We're gonna get this place rolling and the walls will start to sway,
We're gonna eat up all the food,
Don't mind my attitude,
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, I'm just a giant dude!
Belly Boy, out
********************************************************************
BFB has really missed both of you because you brought so much to the table.
Proud FA and I had a falling out when I was hospitalized and lost a bunch of weight.
BLA, would have a wonderful site. There is a huge need for spirituality in the New FA movement.
You too could have the absolute best hyper gaining site on the whole net.
Boom Shakka Lakka eat a lotta food
Boom Shakka Lakka improve the mood
BLA is a stand up guy
Boom Shakka Lakka eat more pie!
Post a Comment