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Is Obesity A Choice?

Monday, January 3, 2011

The Biggest Gainer.

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OK I admit it. I watch the Biggest Loser. I guess we all like to see train wrecks but while watching it over at Fat Bastard's place we both thought about pitching a show to the networks called the Biggest Gainer. Watching fat people huff and puff, get yelled at and collapse on treadmills may be entertaining from a Jackass/Bam Magera sort of way but food is a hell of a lot more fun than watching fatlings sweat. Eating it is even more fun.

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Bam Margera and his fatling father Phil.


The Biggest Gainer could be a much bigger hit than the Biggest Loser.

One of the things that make the Biggest Loser entertaining are the weigh-in and the athletic competition. The Biggest Gainer could have all that and then some. Eating is great competition. There could be on eating competition after another. Fatling gainers could eat everything from wieners to pies.

If you are a gainer and you want to increase your belly obesity you won't miss moment of this show. This show will have a built in audience of feeders, feedees and gainers.

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Fatlings love tractor pulling contests. Imagine a power scooter pulling contest. That would be cool.

Prizes could go to the fatlings with the highest blood pressures, most cardiovascular disease, medications, trips to the ER and blood sugar levels.

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Git er done!

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A mixed doubles feeder feeder competition would be outstanding!

Some of you may think that the networks won't listen to me and Fat Bastard but when they find out that Bigger Fatter Blog is the leading FA Blog in the world they will listen. When they figure out that Bigger Fatter Blog is the leading authority and most frequently quoted source on all things fat they will sit up and take notice.

Fat Bastard and I would like our reader's input on this such as where the show should be taped, (I say New Orleans Louisiana is the fattest state) who the hosts should be, (I say Emeril Lagasse and Paula Deen the butter Queen) who the coaches should be, I say Coach Gaines and the Chef. Fat Bastard would be the executive producer. "Dr" Gerald "Teddy" Bear would be the technical adviser. Rev BLA would be the spiritual adviser in case some of them die and Belly Boy would be the expert commentator.

Now for some gratuitous pictures of BBWs!


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28 comments:

Pete Porksum said...

WOW! I'd watch that show!

Proud Plumpette said...

Sign me up! I give this idea an OINK! of approval.

I think it would be an interesting challenge to have each fatling pick their favourite junk joint and have to eat atleast one of everything on the menu. This would be a massive test of fattitude, and a great advertising opportunity for our favourite fast food funhouses. More money to make more food, more food is more love, and more love means peace on earth!

Fat Bastard said...

Proud Plumpette,

Proud FA and I have been brain storming on this for quite sometime. We appreciate your oink of approval.

I think a fattitude contest is a great idea. Maybe add a competition where they go on a glutton spree. Weigh them in before the spree. Send them out with $50 and the winner is the the one who can by an eat the most food based on calories within a time limit.

This show would promote world peace. PEACE THROUGH GLUTTONY!

Anonymous said...

Mirar chicas gordas comer hace que mi pene erecto.

BLA said...

I think the show should be hosted by Aretha Franklin and Steven Seagal. Deen and Emeril could provide cooking tip segments maybe, but making them the hosts would confuse the audience. Maybe Rosie O'Donnel could be a host, Kirstie Alley, Artie Lang - between the celebs I mentioned we should be able to get 2 to agree.

For special musical guests, we would have the Fat Boys; although unfortunately The Human Beatbox died of a heart attack in 1995, the other 2 members reformed the group with Doug E. Fresh, so if he gains like 100 lbs, then that can be the musical element of the show.

I, Big Lard Ass, would provide counseling, emotional support, and spiritual support to the fatlings in need, and I'd host special memorial episodes when the contestants passed away from heart attacks or strokes. I would also bang the SSBBWs, since The Chef has no wood for them.

We'd have sumo wrestling events, the 10 yard dash (with donuts at the end), oinking contests, the Lift an Ana event, and of course, a Butterbrau drinking contest. Butterbrau is a drink I invented to go with Belly Boy Burgers, and it consists of 5 parts rum, 3 parts melted butter, 2 parts melted vanilla ice cream, some cinnamon, and some nutmeg. Garnish with a raw egg. It is delicious.

Belly Boy has agreed to be the commentator, but he also wants co-producer credit, a Reuben sandwich, and permission to get buzzed (perhaps on Butterbrau) before he goes on the air. Belly Boy drives a hard bargain, and he's difficult to argue with because he pouts when he doesn't get his way, and he once threw such a fit that he began soiling himself while yelling at me.

I also have an idea for a spin-off program called America's Next Top Gainer. We'd start off with underweight people, and whichever gained the most weight over the 52 weeks would get $1,000,000. We'd do 26 episodes of 1 hour each, covering a week per half hour. And at the end, we'd see them explode from like 100 lbs up to 400+ lbs if they followed my gaining instructions. The final 3 contestants would have to face off in a butterbrau drinking + Belly Boy Burger eating competition to whittle them down to 2 contestants, and then they'd get 2 more weeks to gain as much as possible before the final weigh-in.

Regards,

BLA

Wolf said...

Amusing and tantalizing idea but I predict it’s going to be a hard sell. The fat haters who make many of the rules in our society and their blissfully ignorant minions are not going to let this happen. This would require that they set aside their faux crusade against obesity and embrace the fact that fat people are just another chapter in the never ending saga of human development.
If this ever became a reality; just imagine the over the top hysterics, disgust and ear piercing screeching that would come from the likes of MeMe Roth, Michelle Obama, the medical community and not to mention your friends over at NAFAA, who will see this as fat exploitation. The outcry produced by these phony do-gooders of “save the landwhales” would be ringing in the streets from coast to coast and the public and political pressure that would be placed on any network organization interested in carrying and promoting such a program would become far too much to deal with.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to be a buzz kill here as I would dearly love to see this kind of programming become a reality. I might even be able to coax my wife into being a contestant. I personally think we would make a force to be reckoned with during the feeder/feedee challenge.

Notorious BLA said...

@Wolf

I hear what you're saying, but you are forgetting that obesity is going mainstream. Just like there was a running phase in the 70s with Prefontane, in the 2010s there is a gaining phase with Donna Simpson and Belly Boy. Everyone knows at least 1 gainer or feeder, and most adults choose to become obese at some point in their lives.

Let's face it, retirement is now a joke, with pensions being slashed and unions backed against the wall, and states going bankrupt trying to pay the teachers unions etc. And private sector workers lose their pensions to Enron and Madoff, or just a general market downturn, plus you waste like 30% of your money paying fees to the stock brokers / advisers etc who then blow all your hard earned money on drugs and hookers.

People are realizing that Social Security isn't going to be enough, and basically once you get too old to work, you are going to become homeless, unless you know someone to take you in, or if you have a business or huge investments to live off of like me. Everyone else, they know they're going to be homeless at 65 or 70, so they figure they might as well live it up, and get full enjoyment out of their 65 or 70 years rather than live to 80 and spend the last 10 or 15 years of it homeless or in a nursing home.

Obesity is bad for the individual, but good for society in general, so long as most obese people are still fit enough to work until age 62. Why? The fatal heart attack at 62 saves on 20 years of Social Security payments to you, medical expenses, nursing homes, welfare, etc. In the meantime, you've spent down all your money on food and luxury items to live a happy life, which helps the economy, rather than saving it and just helping married stock brokers cheat on their wives with prostitutes.

I differ from Fat Bastard on the core issue of working, though. He thinks we can make work obsolete with technology, but I see that as more of a utopian pipe dream. I envision a world of the Working Fat Man, who is Large and In Charge, with fat women working as nurses, teachers, secretaries, or stay-at-home moms. The fat man comes home to his sedentary and even fatter wife, who has a nice pie a la mode waiting for him, as well as some folds for him to do. And I'm not talking about laundry folds.

Oh, Wolf, did you read what I said about www.bigjohntoiletseat.com?

Regards,

BLA

Wolf said...

@ BLA,

I hear everything you have to say and I quite agree, but I’m still not convinced that our society as a whole is ready to watch massively obese people eat themselves into an early grave on prime time. I for one would love for it to happen, I just don’t think it will carry mass appeal especially once the evil anti-obesity crowd winds up its public relations spin machine in opposition. People, even most of the fat ones aren’t quite ready to throw off the herd mentality just yet where issues of perceived moral failing are concerned. Perhaps once Obamacare is neutered and Mrs. Obamas anti obesity initiative fails people will wake up to the reality of this big fat world of over consumption.

BTW, I saw your link to the big john toilet seat and was quite impressed. I guess you didn’t see my response down near the end of the associated comment page.

Fat Bastard said...

@BLA, that's veritable plethora of great ideas.

I really like the idea of the 10 yard dash but who'd be the winner, the one with the fastest time or the slowest time?

Belly Boy would be a natural. I would like to feature him on the Jumbotron from a different remote location every week.

The Next Top Gainer is the natural progression.

I don't think we can have Aretha because she is dying of pancreatic cancer and sadly that is a death sentence for the Queen of Soul. I can only hope that the fat haters don't blame her obesity for the pancreatic cancer. I hope they show her a little R E S P E C T.

I think that John Goodman and Roseanne would be good hosts.

We may have to use a relative unknowns for eating coaches. Coach Gaines would be my first choice.

What I had in mind for you BLA is for you to give a final thought at the end of the show the way Jerry Springer does. He would make an excellent host!

BLA, you are what is know as a big picture guy. You have a grasp of the gestalt. You see the forest for the trees. You see the buffet for the cupcakes. That's why you can sum up all the parts and put them into a meaningful whole.

Fat Bastard said...

@ Wolf, I appreciate your concerns but that is old defeatest thinking that sounds way too much like NAAFA. We fatlings are the overwhelming majority.

Money talks and bullshit walks in this greedy gluttonous crony capitalist society. Sponsors call the shots. The market share for a show like this would be so huge that the fat hating sophistries would be squashed like a fat admirer under the butt of an SSBBW at a NAFFA convention.

Every fatling would tune in and eat. The fast food companies would kill each other to sponsor this show not to mention the medical supply companies.

As to NAAFA, they bitch about everything. They can't agree on anything so they bitch and play the role of the tragic victim. NAAFA speaks for .000000000001% of the fat people in America. Bigger Fatter Blog on the other hand speaks for nearly all fat people and that is why we are the number 1 fat acceptance and obesity promotion organization in the entire would and probably in the entire known universe.

I don't worry about MeMe Roth or MissHell Obama. If things don't work out with me and Skinny Lynny I plan on marrying MeMe Roth.

As to Mrs Obama this is just a voting grabbing thing. This is meant to fire up the fat girls who just love skinny guys like Barrack. Fat girls are always flicking their switches over guy like him that they know they have no chance of landing.

Proud FA and I have talked about talking to a production company for a pilot. We would love to have you and your sexy sow of a wife be in it. I'll have my people talk to your people.

Belly Boy said...

Hey everyone, Belly Boy here.

I think The Biggest Gainer is a great idea for a show! Plenty of fun-filled food-eating action, showing how fat people are the real athletes. I am actually one of the top athletes in the nation, since I am so fat.

I should be a nose tackle in the NFL, able to stuff the run, and eat hot dogs on the sidelines like that Jets player. The Jets are the best team because Rex Ryan has the most fattitude in the NFL, his team will win the Super Bowl this year. As you will notice, thinling Mike Singletary was fired, because he wasn't eating enough to keep his strength up. That is why he lost.

So I'm 'bout to drop some rhymes on you.

Boom shakka lakka, the biggest gainer is the name of our show
Boom shakka lakka, our contestants are gonna put on a show
Boom shakka lakka, only one is elite
Boom shakka lakka, EAT EAT EAT!

Then it cuts to me, wearing a giant speedo covering part of my belly so it doesn't look like I'm naked, and I give a recap of the previous episode. During the competition, I will make comments and analyze the action after downing some more butterbrau off-camera.

Actually Teddy would prefer if I just wore the speedo regular style, even though I'd look naked. So actually, that's what we would do. However, Teddy would give an explanation that while I may appear to be naked, I am actually wearing a speedo. Three muscle dudes would then lift up my belly for the camera.

Dr. Bear would also oversee all of the insulin adjustments, to make sure that before the competitions, they have taken extra insulin so that they can handle it.

Maybe one of the events would be Go-Kart top speed. A computer would start the go-karts and whosevers goes the slowest top speed wins that event. We'd have Thinnette in one for comparison. (Look out, Danica Patrick!) Eventually at like my weight, the go-kart would just die.

Unfortunately I can't fit in a normal size fat cart scooter. I need a super bariatric version, with a fridge and some drinks, as well as a driver, because I don't want to drink and scoot. That is such a discrimination against fat people, we can't shop drunk like other people because we drive scooters instead of walking.

Anyway Wolf, I am glad that your wife is gaining lots of weight. You are wise to make it into her idea to eat, so that she does not accuse you of fattening her up. Definitely follow BLA's advice. I've seen his acolytes and the ones he is fattening up, have blown up from under 100 lbs to now over 200 lbs in just about 10 months, and they don't even live with him. He is a master feeder.

In case our other readers want advice, what are your wife's favorite foods? What are your tips for keeping your lovely land whale gaining?

BELLY BOY

Wolf said...

@ Fat Bastard:

I don’t consider my thinking defeatist and you shouldn’t either. I’m just saying if you attempt something like this in today’s fat-o-phobic cultural, expect to take some heat. Not everyone is going to be onboard with a concept as hedonistic and wonderful as the biggest gainer. There is always going to be some very vocal puritanical kill-joys in every crowd.

@ Belly Boy:

What are my wife’s favorite foods? Well let’s see; she pretty much will eat anything you put in front of her but as far as favorites go I’d have to say pizza, prime rib, mashed potatoes, fried eggs any style with a side of scrapple and good Chinese food are at the top of her list. She is also partial to big salads especially during the summer but she usually negates any low calorie aspect by loading then with cheeses, and gobs of creamy salad dressings. For desert she is extremely fond of carrot cake with cream cheese icing or cheese cake with a good fruit compote on top. Friendly’s butter pecan ice cream with whipped cream and wet walnuts is also a favorite. Speaking of whipped cream I usually go to Costco or Sam’s club and get a case of the whip cream spray cans so she can snack on straight whipped cream right out of the can while watching TV. She is also an icing freak; it’s not uncommon for her to eat a container of cake frosting while watching TV or to order a cake with butter cream frosting from the local bakery and eat the whole thing in one sitting.

As for how do I keep her fat and gaining it’s pretty simple, really; I just let her natural penchant for gluttony do its thing. She comes from a whole family of fatties and was overfed as a child by an extremely fat food addicted mother. So it’s not that hard to just let her run out of control. All I do is make the food available and I let her do all the self indulgence she wants at her own pace.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not all smooth sailing, at times she does get upset with how much she is eating. She doesn’t exactly like what she calls the circus freak factor that comes with being as big as she is. But it’s usually short lived. Their have been times when she has actually tried dieting this happens about once or twice a year but if she doesn’t sabotage herself within a few days, I discretely do it for her.

Another thing I find that helps her gain is to limit her physical activity as much as possible. What I mean by that is I go out of my way to do as many of the daily physical things she would normally have to do if she were thin and more mobile. It can be hard work but if done thoroughly and correctly it makes her quality of life so much better and for me that’s what it’s all about. Seeing to my wife’s needs and allowing her to be the gorgeous and gluttonous hambeast she was meant to be is what makes life worth while.

Fat Bastard said...

@ Wolf,

The fat phobic culture is dying and the only way to kill it once and for all is with the vigilante promotion of gluttony and obesity.

I really think that fat phobia is a paper tiger and we fatlings should use that paper tiger as a napkin to wipe our greedy mouths and a rag to wipe our butts.

The people with the most fat phobia are the NAAFA girls. Fattitude beats fat phobia. Increase your fattitude.

Teddy Bear said...

Hello Fat Bastard, Proud FA, Belly Boy and everybody else here.

====================
Belly Boy said...

"Then it cuts to me, wearing a giant speedo covering part of my belly so it doesn't look like I'm naked, and I give a recap of the previous episode. During the competition, I will make comments and analyze the action after downing some more butterbrau off-camera.

Actually Teddy would prefer if I just wore the speedo regular style, even though I'd look naked. So actually, that's what we would do. However, Teddy would give an explanation that while I may appear to be naked, I am actually wearing a speedo. Three muscle dudes would then lift up my belly for the camera."
====================

Well, actually, if your belly hangs down over the front of your speedo and down over your thighs, your belly would be so massive that it might not be possible for anyone to lift it up high enough to reveal your speedo.

I would suggest that you just go ahead come out on the stage shirt-less in front of the video camera with your magnificent belly hanging down over the front of your little speedo completely covering it.

Then some people would shout "HEY, YOU CAN'T COME OUT ON THE STAGE IN THE NUDE! GET SOME PANTS ON FAT BOY!" to which you would reply "But, I'm not naked! I'm actually wearing a speedo!" and then you turn around so everybody can see you from the back view to show everyone there that you are indeed wearing a little speedo that is sliding about half-way down on your butt!

Then everybody would cheer as you do a little dance on the stage, maybe two or three steps, then you'll have to sit down on a stool to catch your breath. And as you sat down, your great big belly would completely cover your thighs and protrude out beyond your knees!

Or how about an outdoor beach or pool scene! as you are walking around, the life guard approaches you and says "HEY FAT BOY! THIS ISN'T A NUDE BEACH! NOW GO HOME AND GET SOME SHORTS ON!" and then your turn around to show the life guard that you are actually wearing your little speedo that is half-way down on your butt.

Be sure it's a bright red speedo.

Now, that would be truly awesome!

Wolf said...

@ Fat Bastard,

Don’t worry my fatitude is just fine. It’s just that when you marry, live with, love, and care for an ultra supersized loved one in this thin crazed culture you tend to develop a defensive posture that is very hard to step away from. I pray that your ideas and concepts become a reality daily. I truly think you get it and that you have the correct ideas regarding society and the obesity issue. But I also fear that your incredibly pragmatic approach to this issue is wishful thinking and that the evil-doers within the anti-obesity crowd will not simply go gently into the night and simply shut up. They will not go down without a fight and I just hope and pray that our fat comrades have the stomach for it.

BELLY BOY said...

Hey Teddy Bear!

I like the theory of your ideas, however, my back fat hangs down below my butt, and my belly hangs down well below my knees.

So in other words, even if you saw me from behind, you still would not be able to see my speedo. Someone would have to somehow lift up my belly or back rolls in order to show my speedo, because it just isn't visible no matter what angle you look from. Also I don't know if speedo makes any that would fit me.

BELLY BOY

Wolf said...

@ Belly Boy,

Your back fat hangs below your butt? Wow that's one impressive set of flesh curtains. My hat is off to you.

Fat Bastard said...

Blogger Wolf said...

@ Fat Bastard,

Don’t worry my fatitude is just fine. It’s just that when you marry, live with, love, and care for an ultra supersized loved one in this thin crazed culture you tend to develop a defensive posture that is very hard to step away from. I pray that your ideas and concepts become a reality daily. I truly think you get it and that you have the correct ideas regarding society and the obesity issue. But I also fear that your incredibly pragmatic approach to this issue is wishful thinking and that the evil-doers within the anti-obesity crowd will not simply go gently into the night and simply shut up. They will not go down without a fight and I just hope and pray that our fat comrades have the stomach for it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

FDR said that all we have to fear is fear itself. I think it's a bit naive to think that thinling who are the minority can oppress us fatlings who are the majority. If they are it is because we are allowing it. Seeing as how the fat hens at NAAFA would not allow a fat rooster in the hen house I fat Bastard along with Proud FA started the new fat acceptance movement.

As you know I Fat Bastard amd not a size bigot and neither is Proud FA. The angry NAAFA girls are most certainly size bigots.

If some skinny guy calls me a lard ass I take it as a compliment. Fattitude will allow you to do that. Fat guys have a lot of fattitude both internal and external. We don't deny our gluttony. We embrace it.

I have have experienced size bigotry but 90% has been from fat girls who would pick Proud FA over me every time.

Right now I am watching Tyra Banks and there is a fat girl dissing a thinling girl. Thinling women are also victims of size discrimination and thin phobia.

If you look at who our followers are you will see that many are thinling women because Bigger Fatter Blog is a safe place for them.

Fat girls play the passive aggressive and the tragic victim to a T. The real victims of size discrimination are fatling male and thinling females.

Those of us here at Bigger Fatter Blog are intellectually honest fatlings and we are not victims. We see the future and the future is fat. The fat have always been the ruling class and if you read the posting on BLA, Proud FA. Proud Plumpette, Teddy Bear, Rotunda Hindenberg, Pig, Belly Boy and the Chef you will see that Fatlings are on target to be the ruling class. They get it.

Before I got too fat to work I had a large and in charge boss why had a saying, "I don't get headaches I give em".

The differences between the new fat acceptance and the old NAAFA style are many and varied but the main thing is we don't take any shit. Not only do we not apologize for our size we also embrace our gluttony and promote gluttony and obesity. The old NAAFA style FA movement also does that but they simply are not honest about it.

There is a reason for why Bigger Fatter Blog gets more page hits than all the other fat acceptance sites combined. Most fat people and most all people know bullshit when they see it. When they come here they know they have come to a bullshit free zone.

We don't bullshit the public but more importantly we don't bullshit ourselves.

We don't play the victim.

We eat eat eat eat eat eat eat and we celebrate our greedy gluttony.

We don't whine about bullies.

Look at how we handled MeMe Roth. We did not get all histrionic on her. We did not call her horrible name like anorexic Nazi. We respectfully disagree with her. The angry and jealous fat girls are too out of control to do that.

Fat Bastard said...

One more thing wolf. We don't go on the defensive. We don't play the victim. Instead we fight the good fight.

The NAAFA girls have given all fat people a bad name. We don't lie. Fat people are gluttons and we do not shy away from that word.

We don't deny that obesity has health risks but we think that the pleasure of food is worth it and so do most people. We promote guilt free gluttony.

EAT!

Wolf said...

@ Fat Bastard,

Unfortunately you obviously misunderstand. When I say defensive I mean ready and willing to fight. A good defense is an aggressive offense and I have the scares and broken knuckles to back what I say up. I’ve never been one to swallow shit but I also believe that even the thinling minority still has some teeth left and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. They own the media and the Hollywood elite. They can still influence popular opinion because people; even some fat people by nature are sheep. People flock to those they think have the answers because the vast majority of them cannot think for themselves. Over confidence is a failing that many of the vanquished have been guilty of throughout history. Take heed Fat bastard and listen good do not be so smug in your achievements your brand of fat acceptance is still controversial. This is evident by the fact that many schools across the country have kowtowed to anti-obesity organizations and government pressure and have revised their nutritional programs. Toy and entertainment product manufactures have caved and are now providing child entertainment that requires physical activity. Restaurants and fast food consortiums have created alternate low calorie menus on behest of governmental pressure and threats. And the weight loss industry is still a multi-billion dollar monster that ruins more lives each year than cancer. Beware and tame that over confident attitude because this is a war and it is a war to win hearts and minds and that kind of conflict is the most dangerous.

Ghetto Kid said...

Yo yo yo!

That picture of that white bitch, the one with the blue bikini, y'all's man Ghetto Kid tapped that, y'all!!

Met her ass on mah vacation in Florida, at Dizzizznay, and bought her ass some hot fudge sundae. I am 98% shore it was her, dawgs! She had dat weird 3-part belly, with them lumps on they side anndit shaped like a T in the middle cuz the FOLDS. Them BELLY FOLDS, dawg!

She got dem elefant legs, like a rhinoceris, knamean?

But she dinn understand it was justa one time thang. I banged her two mo' times on my vay-cay, and gave her a phone number fo' KFC when she axed me my numba. That colonel is a fat white chick's best friend.

Man, I am lucky I'm hung, or it'd be hard to get mah beak wet in them SSBB-dubs. I never eat they muff tho. Ever. I prolly should become a professional pornos SSBBW banger. Get some cash money fo' my troubles, legal style, yo!

Ghetto Kid

Anonymous said...

Hey that's my daughter Bristol you ghetto punk. Don't be messing with my kids or you'll end up as Alaskan brown bear bait.

Sarah Palin.

Fat Bastard said...

Ghetto Kid said...

Yo yo yo!

That picture of that white bitch, the one with the blue bikini, y'all's man Ghetto Kid tapped that, y'all!!

Met her ass on mah vacation in Florida, at Dizzizznay, and bought her ass some hot fudge sundae. I am 98% shore it was her, dawgs! She had dat weird 3-part belly, with them lumps on they side anndit shaped like a T in the middle cuz the FOLDS. Them BELLY FOLDS, dawg!

She got dem elefant legs, like a rhinoceris, knamean?

But she dinn understand it was justa one time thang. I banged her two mo' times on my vay-cay, and gave her a phone number fo' KFC when she axed me my numba. That colonel is a fat white chick's best friend.

Man, I am lucky I'm hung, or it'd be hard to get mah beak wet in them SSBB-dubs. I never eat they muff tho. Ever. I prolly should become a professional pornos SSBBW banger. Get some cash money fo' my troubles, legal style, yo!

Ghetto Kid

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hey yo Ghetto Kid,

A lot those white SSBBWs tend to look a lot a like but you may have indeed porked that one you mention.

When an SSBBW get harpooned with a big thick licorice stick from a chocolate mac daddy they tend to get real clingy.

You were not out of like at all. You porked her good and proper and you gave her the number of KFC so when she calls looking for you and knows you don't want her yeast maw no more she can order some comfort food. Don't let people accuse you of being a playa.

Fat Bastard said...

Wolf said...

@ Fat Bastard,

Unfortunately you obviously misunderstand. When I say defensive I mean ready and willing to fight. A good defense is an aggressive offense and I have the scares and broken knuckles to back what I say up. I’ve never been one to swallow shit but I also believe that even the thinling minority still has some teeth left and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. They own the media and the Hollywood elite. They can still influence popular opinion because people; even some fat people by nature are sheep.

People flock to those they think have the answers because the vast majority of them cannot think for themselves. Over confidence is a failing that many of the vanquished have been guilty of throughout history. Take heed Fat bastard and listen good do not be so smug in your achievements your brand of fat acceptance is still controversial. This is evident by the fact that many schools across the country have kowtowed to anti-obesity organizations and government pressure and have revised their nutritional programs. Toy and entertainment product manufactures have caved and are now providing child entertainment that requires physical activity. Restaurants and fast food consortiums have created alternate low calorie menus on behest of governmental pressure and threats. And the weight loss industry is still a multi-billion dollar monster that ruins more lives each year than cancer. Beware and tame that over confident attitude because this is a war and it is a war to win hearts and minds and that kind of conflict is the most dangerous.

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You make a salient argument but it is trumped by this reality. People are getting fatter and they are ignoring the loud minority. Gluttony remains on the rise. There is no stopping it. We are a growing flabbalanche. We are unstoppbale.

What do you think they can do to stop this tide? This is our fight to lose. The only thing that can defeat us is us.

The strategy is simple. EAT EAT EAT!!!

Thinlings may be sheep but fatlings are pigs and pigs are pushy and aggressive. Our sows squeal in protest as our boars snort aggressively.

In the wild, when domestic pigs escape they thrive like no other animal. We fatlings have broken out. We are growing in numbers, weight and aggressiveness. We are the irresistible force and the immovable object all rolled into one. Our only issues will be how to govern and how to root out the few remaining pockets of resistance.

My "brand of fat acceptance" is merely a reflection and expression of the fatling collective conscience. Can the NAAFA types destroy the movement? Perhaps they can. Their denial of gluttony is counter productive and it turns off many fatlings and thinlings.

This, Wolf, is an information war and the New Fat Acceptance is winning. We have the best weapons and the best leaders.

Can you think of anyone in the NAAFA style movment that can even hold a candle intellectually to Teddy Bear? Teddy Bear has an IQ nearly as high as Albert Einstien.

Then we have The Chef who is a culinary nutritionist and he can totally blow that HAES crap out of the water.

Then we have Belly Boy who is the greatest spokes person for the new FA movement.

Then we have Rev Big Lard Ass who is our spiritual leader. The old movement does not even have a spiritual leader.

Now we have Ghetto Kid who is our cultural liason.

Our organization and command and control is second to none.

Fat Bastard said...

Anonymous said...

Hey that's my daughter Bristol you ghetto punk. Don't be messing with my kids or you'll end up as Alaskan brown bear bait.

Sarah Palin.

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Calm down there Caribou Barbie. Bristol is one hot little slut and Ghetto Boy sees that. You should be honored that Ghetto Boy banged her. Maybe if you play your cards right he will lay the dick to you while Todd watches and beats off.

BLA said...

Hey Fat Bastard,

I guess maybe you were right about how popular your blog is!

Even former VP candidates are reading Bigger Fatter Blog for updates on the latest trends in obesity, and things of that nature.

As you know, the Anti-Childhood Obesity Campaign is well under way. I just consider it the Anti-Childhood Campaign, because food is a part of childhood. It sends the wrong message to tell us that our kids are too fat, we should be helping their self-esteem by encouraging them to nourish themselves with healthy snacks such as hot dogs and nachos, which are loaded with valuable nutrients that kids need to grow up into morbidly obese teenagers and adults.

We're preparing our youth for the future, when thinlings will be harshly discriminated against. Since thinlings never stepped up to protect us, they cannot expect us to do the same for them. So the only solution is to ensure that our kids are adequately obese to compete in our global economy.

In our global economy, who is going to get the big business deals? Skinny chicks with big boobs, and fat dudes with big brains. Foreign businessmen will be intimidated when they see the size of our businessmen, assuming that the bigger the businessman, the bigger the business, since he can afford so much food. And the gut size indicates that he does not exercise, leaving him with more energy to focus on work.

Never trust a skinny man to do a fat man's job. Fat men are great a big picture thinking, and at selling things. If you're buying a used car, look for the fattest salesman, he's the one who will know the most about the car because it takes him longer to get in and out of the car, and he is more likely to read the stats on the cars. Fat guys are just better at most things. That's why Romeo Crennel should have been given more of a chance to coach the Cleveland Browns. Man weighs like 400 lbs.

However, we fatlings need thinling advisers, since fatlings do not work that well together. We also don't have the stamina for long research sessions like thinlings, so it is critical that we have thinlings to do the gruntwork for us of research, and advise us on what decisions to make in critical areas when running a business or a nation.

Even President Taft had thinlings in his cabinet, who helped him to run the country. This gave him more time to work on the big picture things.

Oink oink oink,

BLA

Fat Bastard said...

BLA said...

Hey Fat Bastard,

I guess maybe you were right about how popular your blog is!

Even former VP candidates are reading Bigger Fatter Blog for updates on the latest trends in obesity, and things of that nature.

As you know, the Anti-Childhood Obesity Campaign is well under way. I just consider it the Anti-Childhood Campaign, because food is a part of childhood. It sends the wrong message to tell us that our kids are too fat, we should be helping their self-esteem by encouraging them to nourish themselves with healthy snacks such as hot dogs and nachos, which are loaded with valuable nutrients that kids need to grow up into morbidly obese teenagers and adults.

We're preparing our youth for the future, when thinlings will be harshly discriminated against. Since thinlings never stepped up to protect us, they cannot expect us to do the same for them. So the only solution is to ensure that our kids are adequately obese to compete in our global economy.

In our global economy, who is going to get the big business deals? Skinny chicks with big boobs, and fat dudes with big brains. Foreign businessmen will be intimidated when they see the size of our businessmen, assuming that the bigger the businessman, the bigger the business, since he can afford so much food. And the gut size indicates that he does not exercise, leaving him with more energy to focus on work.

Never trust a skinny man to do a fat man's job. Fat men are great a big picture thinking, and at selling things. If you're buying a used car, look for the fattest salesman, he's the one who will know the most about the car because it takes him longer to get in and out of the car, and he is more likely to read the stats on the cars. Fat guys are just better at most things. That's why Romeo Crennel should have been given more of a chance to coach the Cleveland Browns. Man weighs like 400 lbs.

However, we fatlings need thinling advisers, since fatlings do not work that well together. We also don't have the stamina for long research sessions like thinlings, so it is critical that we have thinlings to do the gruntwork for us of research, and advise us on what decisions to make in critical areas when running a business or a nation.

Even President Taft had thinlings in his cabinet, who helped him to run the country. This gave him more time to work on the big picture things.

Oink oink oink,

BLA
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I have no doubt that all the world leaders are reading Bigger Fatter Blog. I am pleased that Sarah Palin is reading Bigger Fatter Blog. Alaska is a very fat friendly state. It's also the biggest state. Fatlings will rarely overheat there and the state pays you just for living there. Fatlings love freebies!

The anti-obesity movement is a massive failure and I rarely talk about it because I don't want to give it any credibility. It will die on its own. When it does and MeMe Roth has a nervous breakdown I will be there to pick up the pieces and whisk her away in my power scooter chariot.

Thinlings can be tricky and you are right about not trusting them to do a fat man's job. The Chef told me long ago to never trust a skinny Chef.

I also agree about using fatlings in the right roles. My nature we fatlings are macro-managers and you are correct in having the thinlings work out all the details.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and then the winner can be the one who dies first! What a great idea!
Seriously though, there's nothing fun about promoting this horrible horrible lifestyle. And watching fat people eat is the most disgusting thing in the world.