Thursday, November 11, 2010

Food IS Love!

As many of our readers know I, Fat Bastard, have panned McDonalds for offering too many "healthy" menu items but today McDonalds the granddaddy of fast food has more than redeemed itself in the eye all of us greedy gluttons. While it is true that McDonalds should not have caved into the food Nazis, their latest McRib commercial sends the righteous and powerful message - FOOD REALLY IS LOfVE!



Love is patient and kind. So is food!

Love does not judge and neither does food.

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com/broken-heart.jpg
Food will not break your heart.

http://www.endlesssimmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/jumbo-slice.jpg
True love is unconditional and food is unconditional love.

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Nightline/ap_twinkie_070426_mn.jpg
Food will not ignore you.

http://thestockmasters.com/files/u3/fat_Joe_KFC.jpg
Food will not reject you.

http://stephentong.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/fat_lady_eating_cake-3755.jpg
Food asks for nothing in return. 


http://fantasyfeeder.com/cms/infusions/ff_articles/img/tmb_roidgutbellysphere.jpg
Food is your best friend!

http://www.ootonline.com/OOTnews/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/giant-burger.jpg
 FOOD IS LOVE!

Stop pedophiles BOYCOTT AMAZON!

18 comments:

Big Lard Ass said...

Speaking of Twinkies, I am reminded of Dan White. He served in the Army for 7 years in Vietnam, even though he was the valedictorian of his high school class and could have been exempt from the draft by going to college on a full scholarship because of his excellent grades. Then he was a police officer but was forced to quit after he got in trouble for reporting another officer who he saw abusing a handcuffed suspect, and joined the fire department, where he saved a woman and a baby from a 7th floor apartment by himself.

Then he got involved in politics, representing a middle class white part of San Francisco that was opposed to left-wing type politics. He had some problems, became very depressed, etc and eventually he became infamous for murdering City Supervisor Harvey Milk and Mayor Moscone of San Francisco. Milk was famous for being an outspoken and openly gay politician, in an era where that was unthinkable - even more than it is today.

According to the media at least, Dan White's lawyers used the Twinkie Defense. When he got depressed he stopped eating health food which he always ate before, and started eating mostly Twinkies and soda. The media said that the lawyers were arguing that the chemicals in the Twinkies made him go crazy and kill the two other politicians, then he turned himself in at his old police station. The jury felt sorry for him, and cried while listening to the tapes of his confession. He ended up getting convicted of voluntary manslaughter, and was sentenced to 7 years in prison.

He was paroled after 5 years, did some probation, but then his marriage started failing and he killed himself in '85.

So, I wonder if the Twinkies - if he had eaten more of them, would everything have worked out okay and violence-free?

Also, the 1970s saw the unfair maligning of Kool-Aide, not just Twinkies. I think that we should have an annual Kool-Aide and Twinkies Remembrance Day to remind people that it is not foods that cause violence, but people.

Big Lard Ass

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Big Lard Ass.

Actually, it's not food at all, but hunger that causes violence. Starvation may drive people to do violence.

But a well fed glutton is very gentle and docile, especially us obese pear-shaped guys. We are sissified gentle and docile obese and happy little wimps, and real Nancy Boys!

OK, now about Amazon . . . . .

Yes, after having read that Amazon was promoting a book written by Octavius Altair, AKA Viamund The Rake, titled Viamund The Boy-Love Vampyre, I closed my account with Amazon and I have been boycotting them for almost a year now.

Now, normally, I'm against censorship, but Kiddie Porn is NOT free speech. It's slavery.

Oh yes! A pedophile might think that kiddie porn is free speech, but to produce kiddie porn, children are coerced and intimidated, forced against their will to take part in the production of films or tapes.

So, it's slavery, and NOT free speech.

Now, I don't order books or CDs or DVDs from Amazon anymore.

I have switched over to Barns & Nobel instead because they had refused to have anything to do with selling that vial piece for garbage written by Viamund The Rake.

I hate pedophiles with a passion, and I believe they should get the death penalty.

When I was 17 years old, I was beaten and raped by an older man in his 40s.

I once believed in the ACLU, American Civil Liberties Union, but not anymore because they are supporting NAMBLA, the North American Man/Boy Love Association in their fight to get the age of consent laws lowered to a younger age, and eventually repealed altogether, just so that rich old men who probably smell bad can have butt-sex with babies!

Also, thanks to the ACLU, just speaking out against pedophiles can get you charged with a "hate crime" and sent to prison where you might get butt-raped.

Well, I'm going to publicly speak out against pedophiles and if the ACLU decides to charge me with a hate crime and it looks like I'll get sent to prison, then . . .

I'll take my own life!

I'll eat myself to death, and go out the way a true glutton is suppose to go out.

In a Goliath Casket!

Big Lard Ass said...

Dear Teddy Bear,

I agree completely with your analysis about the pedophiles, except for the death penalty part, but that's not really what I want to discuss, it's just a difference of opinion and I totally understand that that's a valid opinion.

In case you don't know, there was a scandal regarding Amazon today where someone self-published a book about that vile subject (not vial - a vial is something you find in a lab, vile means disgusting), and initially Amazon said that they would not take it down because of freedom of speech. But then shortly thereafter they took it down saying that it went against their policy not to sell books that encourage crimes.

The ACLU has a history of controversial views. They stuck up for the American Nazi Party when it wanted to do a rally in Chicago, and they got banned, and so then they wanted to move it to Skoke, Illinois where like 80% of the population was Holocaust survivors and their children/relatives. A Jewish lawyer form the ACLU represented that vile group, and ultimately got Chicago to agree to let them do their rally there. But then all the shops in the neighborhood closed for that day so that there would be no bathroom access, and the rally failed. But the ACLU wants them to be able to rally.

And yeah, the ACLU wants it to be legal to publish books telling people how to commit crimes against children, or encouraging it, and even I think they support people who make illegal videos of crimes forcing children to do things. I didn't like the ACLU to begin with, but for me those two things really made me dislike it a whole lot. I bet you probably feel the same way about the ACLU supporting the wanna-be Nazis.

I think that rape in prisons and mental institutions is one of the biggest unacknowledged problems facing America today. Over 500,000 men are raped every year in prisons/jails/institutions, or are forced into literal sex slavery and are "sold" to other inmates for cigarettes, and there is no AIDS screening except in two states, so they often get AIDS. And then when they say anything about it, the guards just say it was consensual.

continued...

Big Lard Ass said...

In fact, there is a video on YouTube called "Turned Out", which is about rape and sex slavery in US prisons. In it, the warden says that he doesn't approve of rape, but that it helps maintain order in the prison, and that he would not want to be the warden in a prison where there wasn't at least some "vices", which I took to include rape.

It's viewed as a way of keeping the bigger stronger inmates in line - they get to rape the weak young inmates and make them literal slaves, and therefore they have less of a desire to try to break out, or cause problems for guards because their sexual needs are being met.

One of the organizations I strongly support is Just Detention International, which is led by a man who spent about 4 years in prison from about 17 to 21. He found a toy gun, went to a photo-hut and jokingly said "your money or your life!" and got arrested for robbery. Well, they sent him to an adult prison, and the other prisoners forced him into slavery, and even made him dress up like a woman and wear makeup. The guards wouldn't help him, and there was nothing he could do.

To me, this type of thing breeds criminality, and is a big unspoken problem that needs to be addressed and resolved. Just because someone gets convicted of something, that doesn't mean that rape should be the punishment. And even if it were to be the punishment, then - don't single out the weak, small, young, white inmates, while the stronger, bigger gang-connected people can rape and spread AIDS to people who are in prison for 8 years for doing something like setting a dumpster on fire. It would need to be across the board to be fair.

I also want to let you know that it is legal for you to express your opinions about the ACLU and the creeps they support. That's YOUR first amendment right!! You are legally allowed to speak out against pedophiles, as long as you don't try to incite others to do something violent against them, or threaten to do something illegal/violent to them, then nobody can get you in trouble.

Let me know what you think about the YouTube video "Turned Out", if you have time/interest in seeing it, because it really opened my eyes to the horrors of what people have to go through.

Maybe I should start going to offer pastoral counseling at the nearby prison.

BLA said...

Dear Teddy B.,

Hm, actually I am not sure if the warden was talking about that he was ok with the inmates raping each other, or if he meant that he is partially glad that they have booze and drugs. Either way, it's crazy to say that you think it's okay because it helps maintain order. Prisons are supposed to be for punishment and rehabilitation so that people won't re-offend; they can learn a lesson and move on in life. So turning a blind eye to drugs is horrible, I think.

The other thing I made a mistake about was when I said only 2 states have AIDS screening. Well all the states screen for it, but only 2 states quarrantine the AIDS inmates to prevent them from infecting other inmates. I think that is a good idea because it seems to be the most feasible way to stop rape victims from getting AIDS in prison.

As for immigrating to Canada, it is a very difficult process unless you find a Canadian woman (or man) to marry you. You have to pay them $200,000 Canadian basically to sort of compensate the government for the benefits you'd become entitled to, and to show that you probably have what it takes to contribute to the nation's wealth. Doctors, dentists, podiatrists, and nurses don't have to pay because those jobs are in very high demand in Canada.

If you were an Orthodox Jew, you could immigrate to Israel very easily, but I am not sure about what they think about converts. I do know that they consider non-Orthodox Jews to be the same as Gentiles for immigration purposes, so keep that in mind. But if you do qualify, then they would pay for your relocation and give you some assistance, (finding a job, etc) and you would be exempt from military service.

Most countries, before they will let you immigrate there permanently, make you basically prove to them that you have a job that can make X amount of dollars, or if you can show your parents were citizens, or you have relatives living there now, etc.

So, I think it is your best bet to stay in the US. Besides, if you leave this country, our nation's obesity percentage will decrease!! The US might start to float into the ocean if your weighty body is not here to anchor it!

Dear Big Lard Ass,

I'm not convinced about your military ideas. However, I do think that we need to start recognizing the top 10 most important meals of the day, and emphaSIZE putting more Twinkies into our diet. If a Twinkie lasts for 50+ years, that means it's built with quality engineering, and is therefore good and scientific to eat.

Fat Bastardo said...

Obesity could solve the violence in prison problem. Fat sated people are calm. If I were a warden I would insist that my inmates were at least a 40BMI and for every point they get above 40 I would take time off their sentence for good gluttonous behavior.

Ah the noble Hostess Twinkie. It will go down in history with great achievements like the Taj Mahal, the pryramids, the great wall of China, Belly Boy and the Moon Landing.

Pig said...

OINK!

Fat Bastardo said...

Republicans are far far more likely to be pedophiles. They fund NAMBLA!

Big Fat Heretic said...

OK everybody!

First of all, let me say, I have been a registered Democrat ever since I was old enough to vote, and I have always voted Democratic.

But here lately, I have actually become disgusted with BOTH parties. OK?

Although I'm a Democrat, I have to admit that my party has screwed up many times over.

But President Bush ruined this country, where as Clinton only ruined a dress!

Right now though, I have come to really hate the Republican party.

I'll tell you all why.

I have always been interested in science, especially Astronomy.

My mother taught me how to read and write before I even started school. When I was only in the 2ed or 3rd grade, I was already able to read at the high school and adult level, and when I was 13 years old I scored 150 points on a standard IQ test.

Now, I believe in Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Although I'm not an atheist, because I do believe there's a God and all that, and I'm converting to Judaism, still, I don't take everything in the Torah so literally. I believe that ALL religions have their myths, stories, and legends, including both Christianity and Judaism. Why should they be the exception?

Therefore, I believe that the Genesis account of creation in 6 days, is not to be taken literally, that it is only a myth, a story. It's not a scientific account on the origins of life or the how the universe came about. It's only a myth. OK?

I don't believe that a man was made from a handful of dirt, or a woman made from a man's rib, or in a magical tree with magical fruit, or in a talking snake with legs.

It's only a myth. OK?

But here lately, here in Texas, our State Board of Education (Indoctrination) removed Thomas Jefferson from the history textbooks because he was a Deist and not a Christian, and he talked about separation of church and state.

Thomas Jefferson is being replaced with John Calvin, who a few centuries ago had people tortured to death in the name of his religion, and the CONservative Republican members of our Board of Education look up to John Calvin as some kind of hero, which is not surprising, because under the Bush Administration we tortured war prisoners, which is something the USA had never done before.

Also, the CONservative Republican members of our Texas State Board of Education want to insert Creationism into the science curriculum in our high school, and gradually remove Darwin's Evolution from our science textbooks.

They are also against Stem Cell Research which could eventually lead to a cure for diabetes and many other genetically inherited diseases.

And today, I came across a NEWS article in Salon, that some Republicans attacked Einstein's Theory of Relativity, which was something Adolf Hitler did, because the Nazis were hostile toward Einstein's Relativity, and now, some Republican feel the same hostility.

These Tea Party Republicans all HATE SCIENCE!!!

I love science, but now, I don't feel safe living in the USA anymore.

Someday, I just might vote with my feet!

Fat Bastardo said...

Rev,

I am not making this partisan as I was a a life long Republican and I consider myself a fiscal conservative and a social liberal like Jessie Ventura and a bit like the old style Conservatives. Most Republicans are fatlings ie Limbaugh, who is a pedophile, Karl Rove, Dickie Morris and Newt Gingrich. They do not represent that party of Reagan, Goldwater and Ron Paul.

I represent the old GOP which is why I'm a green dog Dem. Proud is a yellow dog Dem.

It's a sad fact but today's GOP is a cesspool of perverts. http://911review.org/Alex/Republican_Pedophiles.html

I figured because Dems were more socially liberal they would be more sexual but I was proven wrong. The fact is, the Dems have darn few perverts but today's GOP has an epidemic of pedophilia.

Because I oppose the state sanctioned death penalty I don't believe in killing them but if someone other than the government killed one of them - like if Proud FA were to hunt down and kill the fucker who molested Teddy I'd be fine with that. In fact I could do it myself and feel really good about it. Actually I would love to put that fucker in a cage and let Teddy poke him with a stick. Or do a bully beat down thing and put him in a cage with Proud FA. Proud FA is a great fighter. Porking fat girls made him a real animal.

Sadly my beloved GOP is no longer worthy of my allegiance. Sure I love the greed and gluttony that they represent but it is now corporate greed and gluttony. The best "Republican" president we ever had was Bill "Bubba" Clinton. He had fattitude and he was quite the horny glutton. He even porked that fat girl Monica Lewinski but he never molested any kids.

Now with the tea baggers and that sick Bastard Rick Scott the party is chaos. I think that the few grass roots tea baggers will turn on the GOP.

Personal greed is good. Corporate greed is bad.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Fat Bastard.

I never liked Rush Limbaugh, and have always thought he was a real ass-hole.

But I never thought he was a pedophile.

But again, nothing will surprise me anymore.

The Republicans all claim to be good Christians with "good conservative Christian moral values" but again, I'm not surprised to hear that most Republicans are either pedophiles themselves, or else, support pedophiles.

And why not???

Pedophilia and kiddie porn makes big bucks, and when it comes to anything that makes lots of money, then the Republicans are perfectly willing to toss morality out the window and into the trash can!

So, I'm sure the Republicans would support NAMBLA because they are rich old perverts with big bucks!

Of course, there are probably some Democrats who are pedophiles but I don't think the party would tolerate them for very long.

Democrats are accused of having loose sexual morals, because of President Bill Clinton for example.

Yeah, he did have an adulterous affair, which I think is morally wrong, because I think adultery is wrong.

But at least he didn't have sex with some under-aged child. Monica Lewinsky was an adult.

Adultery is morally wrong, but pedophilia is a Hell of a lot worse.

Adultery may ruin a marriage, but pedophiles destroy the lives of innocent little children.

I once knew a young lady who said that she might be willing to forgive her husband if he cheated on her with another woman or even with another man, but that she would kill him if he ever harmed an innocent under-aged child.

I'm a social liberal in many ways when it comes to a lot of social, political, and economic issues.

But in some ways, I'm so old fashioned that I would put most so-called Christians to shame.

I firmly believe that adultery, cheating on your spouse is morally wrong, and having sex with under-aged children is even worse.

I'm willing to forgive adultery and was willing to forgive Clinton for his wild sexual escapades with Monica Lewinsky.

But I can never abide anybody who harms an innocent child.

That, I can NEVER forgive!!!

If I had kids of my own, and one of my kid was molested by a pedophile, then . . .

. . . this timid and gentle obese little Teddy Bear would turn into a killer grizzly bear!!!

I will kill!!!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Oh, I forgot to add . . . . .

Republicans are Christians when it comes to opposing science and wanting to insert their Creationist fairy tales into the school science curriculum, and eventually doing away with the teaching of science.

But when it comes to making lots of money, then they are perfectly willing to support pedophilia and kiddie porn, and get down on their knees and give blow jobs to Satan!

Anything to make a buck!!!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Hello again Fat Bastard.

Yes, nothing surprises me anymore!

Rush Limbaugh is the absolute scum of the earth, so I am not surprised that he's a pedophile.

Before today, I didn't know that he is. I knew he was a lot of other vile and despicable things, so being a pedophile is one more thing to add to his list.

OH, just now I added the following to the bottom of every one of my blog articles

====================

Stop pedophiles BOYCOTT AMAZON!


Just like you added it to the bottom of your blog articles.

Thanks for giving me the idea.

Of course, all the credit goes to you and Proud FA.

Fat Bastardo said...

Teddy,

Amazon got too big too fast and hopefully this will take those slime balls down.

Big Fat Heretic said...

I just got to say . . .

Yes, food is love!

Food will not beat you and abuse you. Food will not rape you.

Food contributes to my physical growth causing me to become much larger than all the bullies who use to beat up on me.

Food will hug you and embrace you with soft warm layers of fat to protect you from the cold and from serious injuries.

Ah! It feels so good to be surround within the soft warm embrace of obesity.

BELLY BOY said...

OBESITY ALERT
OBESITY ALERT!
OBESITY ALERT!!

Hey everyone, it's me, Belly Boy!

I just did some research and I have discovered a new country that has an adult OBESITY rating of 78.5%!! I am not kidding! The US only has an adult obesity rating of 32.2%!

The country is a small island nation called Nauru, and in second place is another small island nation called Tonga, at 56% adult obesity.

So, I am wondering if I moved to Nauru, would they treat me as some kind of deity? I could not really fit on a plane though because I am over 4 feet wide even going sideways, and I would not possibly be able to fit even in 3 airplane seats because my belly would get in the way of me being able to squeeze into the row of seats, and I also could not fit down the aisle.

From what I read, they eat a lot of canned meat such as spam in Nauru, and fast food snacking is a way of life there.

I think Proud FA should go to Nauru and go on a sexual safari, harpooning the poonanni of the local SSBBWs. This would increase national foreign relations of the USA with Nauru, and therefore Proud FA would become a diplomat. It would also help solve the nation's under-population problem, by resulting in a dramatic increase in the birth rate.

Meanwhile, even Fat Bastard would be able to get laid there. Now I know he is dead-set against SSBBWs and BBWs because his boner is not 15 inches long and therefore is unable to bone such huge women with the mutual fat that gets in the way, however, the women of Nauru are adept at dealing with these problems as they are flexible and skilled in the arts of manly pleasure. Also, it is well known that SSBBWs generally have Ph.D.s (and double Ds) in BJs.

Teddy could move there as well, in order to conduct a true study of morbidly obese body types. He will also appreciate that their culture is one of food sharing, and being nice to everyone. It is a very peaceful nation with no wars, no military, low crime, and very high obesity rates. Its one hospital does not do bariatric surgeries.

Anyway I wanna go to Nauru if I can work out the logistics. I have moved out of the hospital and I'm back home, living in the garage now since the door to the house is too narrow for me, but I can easily fit through the garage door.

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
I FOUND A NEW COUNTRY
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
I'M GONNA EAT A BUNCH-IE
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
PROUD FA WILL BONE SOME ESS ESS BEE DUBS
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
I MIGHT EVEN GET SOME ACTION FOR ME, BUBS!

I SAID A BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
EATING IS FUN
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
CUZ I WEIGH NEARLY A TON
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
BURGERS SHAKES 'N' FRIES
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA
DON'T BELIEVE THE WLS LIES!

BELLY BOY

BELLY BOY said...

P.S.

Here is a website with the info.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7151813.stm

It also indicates that over 30% of Nauruians have diabetes, whereas the USA does not even make the top 10 nations list for diabetes, with probably only around a 10% rate.

The US is #5 on the Adult Obesity ratings, with 32.2%. Surprisingly, Saudi Arabia is beating us with a rating of over 35%, and the United Arab Emirates have a rating of 33.7%.

The UAE has a diabetes rate of 19.5%, and Saudi Arabia's rate is 16.7%. Surprisingly, Tonga's rate is only 12.9% even though its adult obesity rating is 56%. Whereas Nauru's rate for adult diabetes is 30.7%, and its adult obesity rating is 78.5%.

So as we can see, some nations depend more on diabetes for their weight gains compared to other nations, yet Tonga has a huge obesity rating even though its diabetes rating is still only about 1 in 8 of the adult population, yet more than 1 in 2 adults have full-blown obesity.

BELLY BOY

Fat Bastardo said...

Hey Belly Boy!

Japan reveres the obese. They'd love you!

Proud FA is still with Thinnette so he won't be going to what most FAs would see as an FA paradise. However, we appreciate your find because with NAAFA conventions getting smaller and smaller FAs are looking for a new porking zone.

Boom shakka lakka food is love!
Sent by the belly God from above.
Boom shakka lakka it can't be beat.
Boom shakka lakka EAT EAT EAT!

Food kicks ass!

Teddy would be revered in any fat friendly place. While he is not a champ like you Belly Boy he has a lot of fattitude. You Belly Boy are the kind of fatling most of us can only dream about being. You are the Michael Jordin of fatling. For every young basketball player who want to "be like Mike" there is a young fatling who wants to be like BELLY BOY! BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA!