God On Gluttony
Like always God is speaking with a forked tongue. Many fat hating Christians like the 7th Day Adventists (They are all skinny) site the following verses from the Bible in order to support their dietary laws.
Proverbs 23:20-21 warns, “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”
Proverbs 28:7 declares, “He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.”
Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
Proverbs 23:20-21 warns, “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.”
Proverbs 28:7 declares, “He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.”
Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
Then that lovable trickster God changes his mind. GOD LOVES FAT PEOPLE! (when he's not hating and killing them.)
First of all, it is important to understand that the Christian God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. (He's probably overweight himself.) All the fat is the Lord's. -- Leviticus 3:16
Even God's sword is fat (and bloody). The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. -- Isaiah 34:6
God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat. Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ... Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ... And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. -- Ezekiel 39:17-19
God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.) The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 13:4
- If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.
- He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25
God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.) The liberal soul shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 11:25 This has to be true because when you push aside the tea bagging garbage Obama is far more conservative than Reagan but Bush's liberal borrowing and spending must have been of set by his neo con war mongering and only made Karl Rove fat.
- Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.
- The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat and flourishing. -- Psalm 92:12-14
AS A CHRISTIAN!
Is it a insult to God to not enjoy his bounty through Christ our Lord? It would appear so.
The body IS the temple for the Holy Spirit so it would follow that butchering the body with WLS is an abomination. God is even against tattoos. It's really easy to rub God the wrong way.
Just so you don't offend God, say a prayer before you eat.
Prayer one is; Good food, good meat, good Lord let's EAT!
The other one is short sweet and to the point as well. Rubba dub dub. Thanks for the grub. YEAH GOD!
This one is for special pig outs in Catholic homes.
In the name of the Father, skip the ghost
The ones who eats fastest get the most!
I suppose it matters what sort of mood God is in when you die as to whether he will send you to heaven or Hell. If I were a Christian I, Fat Bastard, like our Christian fatlings would choose gluttony. There are only 3 verses admonishing gluttony but there are six verses promoting it. What would Jesus do? He'd EAT..... A LOT!
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| Miss Pearus Beanbag |
12 comments:
Well, it looks like I'm the first to post a message here.
OK, gluttony is only a sin when you hoard food and never share with other people.
As I have said before, I'm a glutton, but I'm not greedy. I love to share food with other people.
I had some friend over today for TURKEY DAY.
No, I don't call it Thanksgiving, because this day has lost all religious significance, due to the fact, that the Pilgrims who came here were scum, the dregs of English society.
Their claim that they came here for religious freedom and to escape persecution is just bullshit, because they eventually inflicted their own brand of persecution on anyone not of their faith, and they were especially hard on the gentle Quakers.
And then, the Puritans held the Salem Witch Trials in which many innocent people were wrongly accused and sent to the gallows.
And so, I just call it TURKEY DAY, and use it as an excuse to pig out and chow down.
Anyway, I had friends over, and we had the usual turkey with stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pecan pies.
Then we gathered around Ye Olde Computer and watched a 20 video series on YouTube, the History Of The Inquisition.
Anyway . . . . .
I really like the photo of obese lady at the bottom of this latest article, the one wearing the sleeveless white blouse and the blue shorts, and the great big belly covering her thighs.
WOW! That's one fantastic belly she has, the kind of belly I hope to achieve someday.
But, those sure are some skinny legs she's got there!
Fat Bastard said...
"Yeah, that woman at the bottom of the article is a sight to behold. Those skinny arms and legs contrasted against that HUGE ever widening belly is impressive to say the least.
Teddy you have a good look the way you are. Sure a giant pear belly would be nice but your shape the size it is is classic fat man. It commands respect and awe. You have the Henry the 8th look although you would not behead anyone. You look royal and majestic like me."
====================
Thank you.
But I'm still envious of her magnificent belly.
I'm glad my legs are much fatter than her's.
But Oh! That belly! That most magnificent belly!
My belly is getting bigger, so maybe it's just a matter of time before my belly gets to be just as big, and then I would still want to add even more to it.
I would be wearing a white T shirt with light blue horizontal stripes to make myself look even wider, and light colored plaid shorts.
If I had a belly like her's, I would feel quite helpless, but I would feel very happy and contented, sitting on the edge of my bed, my lower belly below the waist completely covering my short fat thighs and protruding way out beyond my knees, my hands resting on top of my belly, and when standing up my lower belly would be hanging down below my knees.
That is the perfect belly.
A gluttons dream!
Teddy,
I know more than a few fatlings with pannys and a lot of them don't like them. I know that they make a pregnancy harness... kinda like a belly bra.
Proud used to pork an SSBBW who had huge panny and huge boobs. She has a lot of sores and scabbing. She always had some sort of infection brewing. Proud used to swab her with povodone iodine, Gold Bond Medicated powder some prescription fungal cream.
Again, you have a classic look. Size is not everything. Don't fall into that trap that body builders fall into. They look in the mirror at 250 pounds and 5'8' and solid muscle and they see a skinny guy staring back. It's sort of the opposite anorexia. I don't know for sure that the name of it is. I think it's called body dysmorphia.
I can see how it can be tempting when you see guys like Michael Hebranko and our own Belly Boy.
I think that I am more into being a glutton that being fat and speaking of which, Thinnette is a great cook. I had always heard that I should never trust a skinny chef. I guess Thinnette is the exception that proves the rule.
I have another date with Skinny Linny. She was very impressed with my ability to pack away food.
@ Teddy Bear
I think you have a certain regal kind of obesity. In the middle ages, perhaps you would have been a morbidly obese king, a kindly and fat ruler, and not a tyrant. I'm pretty sure that that's how they determined who gets to be the ruler, right? Based on who is the fattest?
On the other hand, being so relaxed and passive does not make for a good leader, and in due time a neighboring country might try to invade and take your food. Your morbidly obese knights would not be able to mount their horses to defend the realm, and unfortunately, the BBW and SSBBW women who were not married would then want to marry FAs in the invading army, since fat women like skinny guys who can "really throw the javelin" as they said in those days. They didn't call him Lancealot for nothing.
@ Fat Bastard
The giant panny is a double-edged sword. It can get you into trouble, or it can save your life. For example, you could use your panny to hide a defibrillator kit in case of a heart attack, or keep a bucket of KFC there for snacking-on-the-go. The possibilities are endless!
On the other hand, there is chafing. That's why Belly Boy needs skin moisturizers to be applied to him very regularly, a task that I have delegated to one of the gay FA Faedari members. Belly Boy is open-minded, and I don't like to ask questions about what goes on behind closed doors.
Skinny Linny sounds like a catch for you, Fat Bastard. I am glad that she doesn't mind a man who has been with many drug-addicted prostitutes, plus she's actually attracted to your gluttony. Nothing impresses a FA like a healthy feeding session at an expensive restaurant. Just be sure that you don't take her to Arby's until at least the 8th date, I made that mistake once and I had to buy her an $89 boquet for her to take me back. Skinny women are so much harder to please than the BeeBeeDubs.
Things are going well with me and Anna Wrecksit, my 95 lbs girlfriend. She doesn't care about fat, she's impressed with my strong religious and business background. I've cut down on boning my acolytes in favor of boning her, and she is very happy and grateful.
Back when I used to be with fat women, I had lower self esteem. But I like the skinny women better because they look and smell better, and are not slutty.
Regards,
BLA
Big Lard Ass said...
"@ Teddy Bear
I think you have a certain regal kind of obesity. In the middle ages, perhaps you would have been a morbidly obese king, a kindly and fat ruler, and not a tyrant. I'm pretty sure that that's how they determined who gets to be the ruler, right? Based on who is the fattest?
On the other hand, being so relaxed and passive does not make for a good leader, and in due time a neighboring country might try to invade and take your food. Your morbidly obese knights would not be able to mount their horses to defend the realm, and etc. etc.
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Yes, if I had been a king back in the 16 century, I would be a fat and jolly and generous king.
I would set aside forest land as a public hunting reserve where even the peasants could hunt game, unlike the feudal landlords back then who owned all the land and only Nobility could hunt while the peasants lived on nothing but starchy vegetables.
No, I would be ahead of the times, and put aside forest land for public use, and also lakes for public use where the peasants could catch fish.
Although I would be a rather passive and gentle king, I can get tough if I had to. I would not tolerate men beating their wives, or anyone harming children. Men who commit rape on women and pedophiles who sexually abuse children would either be hanged or beheaded. So, I can be a real bitch at times if the need arises.
Also, I would import Sumo wrestlers from ancient Japan because they are big and strong and would make good warriors to defend my kingdom.
My palace guards would be super obese apple-shaped men 6 feet tall with shaved heads, a solid gold ring in their left ears (right ear if gay) and wearing loin cloths and each armed with a sword. Super obese men who are tall and apple-shaped would make excellent palace guards because apple-shaped obese men are more aggressive and can be very intimidating.
So, by all means, I would make sure my kingdom is defended.
Also, back then, since the printing press was invented, I would set up book stores in all the villages and books would sell for a reasonable price. I would want everybody to be able to read and write. The peasants would get an education and eventually achieve middle class status.
And finally, The Holy Office of The Inquisition would not be allowed to set foot in my kingdom. The Inquisitors would be shot on sight by big fat guards armed with crossbows and I would send my Sumo Warriors out to invade the Vatican and kill the Pope and bring back all their secret documents which would be read out loud to the public. The Vatican would go down in down in disgrace ad shame.
That's what I would have done if I were a king.
@ Teddy and BLA,
It's a given that fat boys either beat off or hire hookers. Skinny Linny gets it. I use a condom when I am with any street meat.
Teddy would make a great ruler. He'd be like the Sun king only wiser and fatter. His fat armies would be invincible because Teddy would have very smart generals and he would have a mix of fat soldiers and FA soldiers. An invading army would not stand a chance. Because Teddy's kingdom would have the most beautiful BBW FA's from far and near would emigrate to his Fatopia.
Brains beat brute force every time.
THE FORK IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!
People in Fatopia would be so well fed and the FA's would be getting laid so much that nobody would have time to fight or the desire.
Obesity is the key to world peace. Think about it. Fat kids usually are not bullies. Fat dogs don't start fights or chase cars.
Julius Caesar wanted his senators to be fat and bald but they weren't. If people did not have that lean and hungry look we'd get along.
Next to religion, starvation is the biggest cause of war. Teddy the Bear King would not allow famine.
Food is love and food is my God. If people knew that leading a fat and abundant life leads to an after life in Faedarian who would misbehave?
Teddy would make a great ruler. He's wise.
You guys crack me up!
CG Brady said...
You guys crack me up!
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Well, be that at it may . . .
Yeah, I suppose my speculations on what I would have done as a 16th century king is kind of amusing.
But one fact remains.
I hate and despise the Catholic Church for all that in has wrought down through the centuries.
And so, I say . . .
POOP ON THE POPE!!!
Now, in the meantime . . .
I have come across a rather interesting series of 20 YouTube videos about the Inquisition.
Just go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lDNapxgMys&feature=related
That will take you to the first one in the series, and then you can go to the rest of them from there.
The Inquisition E01P01
The Inquisition E01P02
The Inquisition E01P03
The Inquisition E01P04
The Inquisition E01P05
====================
The Inquisition E02P01
The Inquisition E02P02
The Inquisition E02P03
The Inquisition E02P04
The Inquisition E02P05
====================
The Inquisition E03P01
The Inquisition E03P02
The Inquisition E03P03
The Inquisition E03P04
The Inquisition E03P05
====================
The Inquisition E04P01
The Inquisition E04P02
The Inquisition E04P03
The Inquisition E04P04
The Inquisition E04P05
==========
Those are the titles of the 20 videos in the series. It will take about 3 hours to watch all of them.
Oh! And Incidentally . . . . .
The Holy Office of The Inquisition still exists, only now it has been renamed The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
Yeah! Real nice! Isn't it?
I just read about how the Catholic church helped the Nazis. SHOCKING!
Fat Bastard said...
"I just read about how the Catholic church helped the Nazis. SHOCKING!"
====================
Well, I have always known about that.
Pope Benedict XVI was once a member of a Nazi organization, The Hitler Youth when he was 14 years old.
Before he was elected Pope and had his name changed to Benedict XVI, his name was Joseph Ratzinger and was known by the nickname "God's Rottweiler" now isn't that nice!
Well, all the Popes were shit-eating scum-dogs as far as I'm concerned.
I think it was Pope Pius that helped the Nazis. Poop Ratty was a Hitler youth at the time.
LoL, fat Jesus Peter!
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