This is the next phase in political fat acceptance. The days of justifying our fatness by lying and saying we have a mysterious genetic or metabolic disorder are over. We now freely admit to and embrace what the fat haters would call gluttony. We fatlings are no longer apologists for our size nor our greedy gluttony. We are fat because we eat huge amounts of food and we like it. If you don't like it get used to it because fat people are now the overwhelming majority.
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Monday, November 1, 2010
Ladies and gentleman: START YOUR EATING!
Now that you are all warmed up on all that extra Halloween candy it's time to kick your gluttony into high gear. EAT!
Grow that pumpkin!
Fat folks make so much food at Thanksgiving, it's almost divine. Do we really need so many different dishes—three vegetables, four pies, rolls, potatoes, stuffing, turkey, ham, alcohol etc.? The answer is a big fat resounding YES! Zealots like MeMe Roth may prefer a more manageable meal, with fewer dishes—more like an enhanced "normal" meal. Which do you prefer? Would you rather eat more spartanly or go for the full monty of food glorious FOOD?
Eat early! Eat often!
Start your gormandizing on Thanksgiving Eve or sooner. Snacks and chips are dips are always a good option and don't skip breakfast! Thanksgiving pre eating is like the famous Grazenhiemer Technique. Just keep eating and drinking. Beer is great with all the football games but consider some Bailey's Irish Creme especially if you are watching the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. You may want to even have a mock tailgate party.
Get a really big fucking turkey!
Proud FA checking last year's Birdzilla
Even if you can't devour the bird in one sitting it does not mean you should not get a mega gobbler to gobble. If you are a true glutton you will be hungry an hour after the main meal and desert. You'll want some turkey sandwiches with mayo or gravy or both and some extra pie. If you can't handle some Bailey's Irish Creme try some Irish Coffee.
Fat O'Bastard's Irish Coffee
1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish cream liqueur
1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish whiskey
2 cups hot brewed coffee
6 tablespoons whipped cream
1 dash ground nutmeg
In a big goddamn coffee mug, combine Irish cream and Irish whiskey. Fill mug with coffee. Top with a dab of whipped cream and a dash of nutmeg
Pecan, pumpkin, chocolate, mince meat or cheese pie are all good choices and don't skimp on the whipped cream.
Loosen that belt rookie, there's a lot more pie to pack away!
EAT! This is your host Fat Bastard wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving!
WARNING from Liberty Medical and Wilford Brimley!
This Thanksgivingyou are going to be kicking your power eating into overdrive so check your damn blood sugar and check it often! There's no reason not to.
Keep watching Bigger Fatter Blog for our Xmas holiday seasons GREEDings articles and recipes and gift ideas for your favorite fatling.