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Monday, November 1, 2010

Thanksgiving Gluttony!

Ladies and gentleman: START YOUR EATING!

Now that you are all warmed up on all that extra Halloween candy it's time to kick your gluttony into high gear. EAT!
Grow that pumpkin!

Fat folks make so much food at Thanksgiving, it's almost divine. Do we really need so many different dishes—three vegetables, four pies, rolls, potatoes, stuffing, turkey, ham, alcohol etc.? The answer is a big fat resounding YES!  Zealots like MeMe Roth may prefer a more manageable meal, with fewer dishes—more like an enhanced "normal" meal. Which do you prefer? Would you rather eat more spartanly or go for the full monty of food glorious FOOD?

Eat early! Eat often!
Start your gormandizing on Thanksgiving Eve or sooner. Snacks and chips are dips are always a good option and don't skip breakfast! Thanksgiving pre eating is like the famous Grazenhiemer Technique. Just keep eating and drinking. Beer is great with all the football games but consider some Bailey's Irish  Creme especially if you are watching the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. You may want to even have a mock tailgate party.

Get a really big fucking turkey!
Proud FA checking last year's Birdzilla
Even if you can't devour the bird in one sitting  it does not mean you should not get a mega gobbler to gobble. If you are a true glutton you will be hungry an hour after the main meal and desert. You'll want some turkey sandwiches with mayo or gravy or both and some extra pie. If you can't handle some Bailey's Irish Creme try some Irish Coffee.

Fat O'Bastard's Irish Coffee


  • 1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish cream liqueur
  • 1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish whiskey
  • 2 cups hot brewed coffee
  • 6 tablespoons whipped cream
  • 1 dash ground nutmeg


  1. In a big goddamn coffee mug, combine Irish cream and Irish whiskey. Fill mug with coffee. Top with a dab of whipped cream and a dash of nutmeg
Pecan, pumpkin, chocolate, mince meat or cheese pie are all good choices and don't skimp on the whipped cream. 
Loosen that belt rookie, there's a lot more pie to pack away!
EAT! This is your host Fat Bastard wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving!

WARNING from Liberty Medical and Wilford Brimley!
This Thanksgiving you are going to be kicking your power eating into overdrive so check your damn blood sugar and check it often! There's no reason not to.
Keep watching Bigger Fatter Blog for our Xmas holiday seasons GREEDings articles and recipes and gift ideas for your favorite fatling.

Stop pedophiles BOYCOTT AMAZON!


Notorious BLA (Big Lard Ass) said...

You raise some interesting points about the finer aspects of feeding on Thanksgiving.

I myself prefer the Grazenheimer Technique, eating throughout the day so that I maximize my caloric intake. It's the best holiday ever.

Your idea for 10 ounces of liquor along with 2 cups of coffee, 6 tbs of whipped cream, and a dash of nutmeg, sounds very interesting. However, I would like to add that this would get most people pretty darn plastered. For some people, maybe just 1 or 2 ounces of liquor, and 1 cup of coffee, and a dash of nutmeg, would be good. Aka that's what you give your thinling acolytes. Although mine tend to drink more, so I'd up it to 5 ounces each. But big guys like us need the full amount.

I love to make cranberry sauce, out of fresh cranberries and sugar. I also always make a nice big turducken, which is a turkey with a duck inside of it, with a chicken inside of that, all cooked together. I cook my stuffing separately and drip the juices on it while it's cooking.

I also make at least 6 pumpkin pies, and eat an entire one by myself.

Oink oink!

Also, check out this link.
The Japanese truly understand how to pamper their fatlings. This particular fat guy is exceptional, so much so that his neck is completely protected by his upper chest fat. Awesome.

Notorious BLA

Anonymous said...

Maybe they have him confused with a Kobe steer?

Fat Bastard said...


I'm a big fan of the Grazenheimer Technique since you turned me on to it but I like to do the Grazenheimer and then fast for a few hours because you get really hungry and hunger is one itch I love to scratch. A good pre eating using the Grazenheimer is a great set up for a major Turkey Day pig out...gobble gobble gobble OINK OINK OINK!

My sister does the cooking during the holidays. Her corn/bread/sausage/bacon/cheese stuffing is off the chart. This year she will be making a bunch of pumpkin cheese cakes.

I get pretty wasted on booze and weed and this year our buddy the Chef is closing his restaurant and he is our invited guest of honor. As you may know, the Chef always has the best sticky green (BC hydro) and he will be bringing a couple of his fine ladies so I may even get laid. Proud FA and Thinnette will be stopping by for cocktails and desert.

We're gonna get really fucked up on some of the Chef's honey blunts and his drinkin stuff.

That turducken sounds outstanding. YUM OINK

Anonymous said...

I love Thanksgiving! It's a glutton's holiday!