Monday, January 24, 2011

Jack LaLanne Dead at 96: Proof that exercise and diet can kill you.

Image result for Jack LaLanne age 70
Weak Sick and Emaciated Jack LaLanne At Age 75

It's official. Leanling Jack LaLanne has bought the farm. Good riddance to this health menace. Now his juicer ads will not be stinking up late night TV making more room for infomercials about real food like Hickory Farms cheese and sausage.

Here is a list of the crazy stunts that led to his demise. (As reported on Jack LaLanne's website)

  • 1954 (age 40): swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, underwater, with 140 pounds (64 kg; 10 st) of equipment, including two air tanks. A world record.
  •  1955 (age 41): swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco while handcuffed. When interviewed afterwards he was quoted as saying that the worst thing about the ordeal was being handcuffed, which reduced his chance to do a Jumping jack significantly.
  • 1956 (age 42): set a world record of 1,033 push-ups in 23 minutes on You Asked For It,[29] a television program with Art Baker.
  • 1957 (age 43): swam the Golden Gate channel while towing a 2,500-pound (1,100 kg; 180 st) cabin cruiser. The swift ocean currents turned this one-mile (1.6 km) swim into a swimming distance of 6.5 miles (10.5 km).
  • 1958 (age 44): maneuvered a paddleboard nonstop from Farallon Islands to the San Francisco shore. The 30-mile (48 km) trip took 9.5 hours.
  • 1959 (age 45): did 1,000 star jumps and 1,000 chin-ups in 1 hour, 22 minutes and The Jack LaLanne Show went nationwide.
  • 1974 (age 60): For the second time, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
  • 1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance of 21 years earlier, he again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
  • 1976 (age 62): To commemorate the "Spirit of '76", United States Bicentennial, he swam one mile (1.6 km) in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people.[30]
  • 1979 (age 65): towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds (2,900 kg; 460 st) of Louisiana Pacific wood pulp.[19]
  • 1980 (age 66): towed 10 boats in North Miami, Florida. The boats carried 77 people, and he towed them for over one mile (1.6 km) in less than one hour.
  • 1984 (age 70): Handcuffed, shackled and fighting strong winds and currents, towed 70 rowboats, one with several guests, from the Queen’s Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary, 1 mile.[31 

Image result for morbidly obese woman
This is the kinda body real men want in a woman. Jack LaLanne could not handle this hot plumper.



Sheesh that would kill anybody! What a dope! Burn in HELL Jack LaLanne!!

Image result for jack lalanne 90th birthday
Jack at age 95: Look at the toll all that exercise and "healthy eating" took on him.

122 comments:

Proud Plumpette said...

I would much rather eat whatever the hell I want and die a natural death of congestive heart failure at 50, than live 96 years wasting my time on this crap. These people think they're so healthy, but they're just prolonging their misery.

What a shame.

Belly Boy said...

Unnngh!

I wanna live to 95 too. Unngh! I'm probably not going to make it to 80 at this point, since I weigh over 1,300 lbs not counting water retention, which adds in another 100 or so pounds per leg.

The online life expectancy calculators I use say I should live to be old, but the doctors say that I will not live more than a few months or a few years at the most if I don't become a big exercise freak and spend like 10 minutes a day doing exercises, and limit my calories to something ridiculous like only 7,000 calories a day. I'm used to more like 7,000 calories a meal!!

Does CG Brady know if it would be possible for me to make it into my 90s weighing what I do? I can sort of do a sit-up, only not a full one, just a partial. So I'm figuring that doing one every day would give me good strong abs, and maybe I could get some sort of tape to listen to while I sleep to make me exercise while I sleep, and get thin that way??

Basically I don't like the way exercise feels because it hurts. And I still want to be able to eat like I'm used to, because it's a lifestyle thing. But it seems like illegal discrimination that I'm so fat, even though I am a good person and I do exercise a tremendous amount such as rolling over, making bowel movements, etc.

Any tips? Because I don't know what to do now, I feel like I'm too big to fail, that I won't get sick because then what would happen to the world? It would just go away. The whole world only exists in my mind, and if I died, so would the world. Therefore my survival is the top priority of the human species, and I am asking everyone, all of our top scientists, to ditch what they are doing and to focus only on my survival. Otherwise, they will vanish once I die.

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, lots of food
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, and lots of fattitude
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, so much to eat
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, on my diets I will cheat
Cuz I'mma... food playa don't you know what I am?
Yea I'mma... food playa- can't stick to just 1 meal plan
Yea I'mma... food playa, I just eat what I want
Cuz I'mma... food playa, eat out yo' restaurant
Bitches dicks and playas think they out-eat me, now I'mma put 'em in their place, pig out like a manatee
A spoon full of ice cream makes my medicine, go down
An' don't you know my medicine is whiskey mixed with coffee, brown!

UNGH! CHECK IT.
UNGH! CHECK IT AGAIN.
UNGH! CHECK IT ONE MORE TIME.
(UNGH! ARE YOU SURE YOU PUT THE BATTERIES IN?)

YEA I'mma, BELLY BOY
YEA I'mma, BELLY BOY

I eat yo' mamma's lasagna
I eat yo' brotha's chicken parmajonna
I eat yo' sister's #@$$%
I eat yo' daddy's steak
I eat yo' pancakes with a LAKE.
OF SYRUP! COME ON BABY CHEER UP!
I don't limit, just to use the maple.
Ungh, I hit that shit up, with a shotta CHOCOLATE. ADD IN THE RASPBERRY, fo' yo' daily veggies, have a glass o' choco-milk and you, will be real merry!

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, you you you
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, chew chew chew
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, the world must give give give
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA, so I can live live live!!

BELLY BOY OUT! SAVE BELLY BOY!

Fat Bastardo said...

Wow! Where do I start?

It's quality of life not quantity. Jack LaStrain ate vegetables YUK! Vegetables are what food eats. And he was always working out and sweating.

I'm a thinker no a stinker if you don't count my fat man musk.

Fat Bastardo said...

@ Belly Boy,

I was in touch with CG and he says the likelihood of most Americans making it into their 90's is rare but there could be medical advances that may allow it but those advances will not come from the US unless there is a way to make money.

He did say that if you lost weight and got down to a BMI of 20 it may be possible for you but unlikely. He does not know enough about your case to predict when you may enter Hog Heaven.

I asked a nurse who took care of me after my second heart attack and she says that you will probably not make it to 30.

Anonymous said...

I really hate you all.

Anonymous said...

You lazy slime are what makes people doubt humanity. I will sleep well tonight knowing I will live to see my children grow old and healthy, while you lay in the hospital smelling like nothing more than the grime that grows in your belly's hangover between heart attacks.

Anonymous said...

I hope you all die of heart failure. You're deluding yourself if you think being unable to fit through most doors because of your obesity is a "higher quality of life".

Anonymous said...

clearly we got a couple of whales here whos disgusting disgusting fat has crept into their sweaty flabby brain
or maybe its just bitterness at the fact they will never have sex with a woman (or see their own genitals)
have a nice day cows

Anonymous said...

lol at thinking eating healthily and exercising isn't fun.

it only feels bad because you've taken healthiness to previously unimaginable levels, the human body has no idea how to cope with such disgusting treatment.

have fun dying at age 35, having experienced nothing, only exceptional gluttony.

Anonymous said...

itt; /fit/ is mad yo

cloystreng said...

I heard that Jack Lalanne said that fat people get that way because of eating habits and not exercising but I don't like that because I think its a lifestyle thing. You can't discriminate against us because we are fat or butt ugly. Isn't it bad enough that we take up your seats on buses, trains, and airplanes, and then you have to ridicule us for it. Hypocrites.

lol jk, im not fat. check out the workout log
ITT: Fatties gonna fat.

Anonymous said...

ITT: fatties gonna fat, /fit/ gonna LOL

Big Fat Heretic said...

In response to Anonymous:

Or is that, Any-mouse!

WOW! Like, who just pulled your string tonight?

Let me say, that although I'm obese, I'm probably in much better health than you are.

With your attitude, you'll probably bust a blood vessel in your brain, or rather, in that shit in your head that you have for brains!

First of all, I don't eat a lot of junk foods. I get plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables every day, and I actually prefer fish more than meat, baked or broiled fish, not fried.

My blood pressure is perfectly normal, usually around 110/70 and my cholesterol levels are actually below normal, usually around 140, and my triglycerides are usually around 90 at least according to my most recent lab results a few months ago.

This in spite of my obesity, weighing about 400 pounds at 5 feet 6 inches.

I'm 59 years old. My younger brother, who is much taller, and and skinny, about 5 feet 11 inches, and weighing 170 pounds, he has high blood pressure, and high cholesterol levels, and although he's a year and three months younger than I am, he looks like he's 20 years older. So, he's a total wreck.

Most of my relatives were obese, yet they lived well into their 80s.

Yes, I do have some arthritis in my knees and ankles, but it was not caused by my obesity. Else, how to you account for the fact that a lot of thin people have arthritis? Eh?

When I was 4 years old, I was in a car accident, and my left knee was injured, so as a result, when I was a kid, I was unable to run, and I walked with a limp, so, when I was going to school I was lousy at sports.

The first time I was suspended from school, it was because I failed to climb a stupid rope in the gymnasium.

Oh! Never mind that I had a crippled up left knee as was not able to climb the rope. Never mind that I was passing all of my other academic subjects, like science, math, history, etc. etc.

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

When I was going to school back in the 1960s and 1970s, sports and PE, athletics was considered more important than academics.

Sports is responsible for the declining quality of education in our schools here in the USA.

When I was in school, I was beaten and bullied around by the jocks and I was humiliated in the the gymnasium during PE classes.

When I was in high school, most of the jocks could not read beyond the 3rd or 4th grad level.

But because my mother taught me how to read and write before I even started school, when
I was only in the 3rd grade, I could already read at the adult level. Science was my favorite subject, especially Astronomy. When I was 13 years old, I scored 150 points in a standard IQ test.

Oh, but I was called a "sissy" and a "fag" because I didn't care for sports. But, the jocks who couldn't read beyond the 4th grade level in my high school were treated with far more respect than the good students (the nerds and geeks) who were more serious in studying science and math.

No, we nerds and geeks were treated like shit, while most of the pathetic losers in my school bowed down and worshiped and admired the jocks like they were some kind of gods who could eat coal and shit diamonds!

Sorry Jimbo Bubbah Booey! But as far as I'm concerned, academics trumps athletics anytime.

That's why I say, Jack LaLanne was a pompous ass!

I'm glad he's croaked and bought the farm!

So, you may go crawl into a sewer, eat shit, and DIE!!!

GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Anonymous said...

Fat acceptance is the biggest troll in history. 3,000 year ago, you'd all die from being lazy, fat morons, unfit to hunt. Now your gluteny causes heart problems, so you die young anyway. In what universe is dying at 96 a bad thing? You mouth breathing fat deposits would be lucky to reach half that.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Oh! By the way, Any-mouse . . . . .

I forgot to mention . . .

When I was a kid, I wasn't fat yet either when I failed to climb the rope in the gymnasium.

It was only because of my crippled up left knee, the result of a car accident.

So, my weight had nothing to do with my being lousy at PE and sports.

Again, you may go fuck yourself.

Anonymous said...

As a former fatty, I gotta say you should all be ashamed of yourselves, disrespecting a man who devoted his life to fitness and helping people. For people demanding acceptance of your lifestyle, you sure are hateful to people who are different.

You are all hypocrites. Hypocrites who are wasting the only live you'll ever have.

Hope you enjoy your unfulfilled lives, I'm gonna do what Jack LaLanne did, and LIVE MY LIFE. Not waste it on a couch in front of a TV shoveling Cheetos and ice cream down my fat gullet.

Jay said...

Well the propaganda this guy spewed was a menace to type II diabetes everywhere. We can all rest a little easier. on our backs, because we are too fat to sleep on our stomach's.

Jay said...
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Anonymous said...

Teddy Bear, Carl Sagan was a great man who contributed alot to the field of science. Jack LaLanne wasn't a scientist, but that doesn't make his contribution any less important.

What have YOU done to contribute to the world with your obesity?

Anonymous said...

Is uh.. Any-Mouse supposed to be a clever retort?
I may not have a 150 point IQ like some people, though, so perhaps this is genius level humor that is simply beyond my ability to comprehend.

For some reason, however, I doubt that.

I do, however, have an 130+ IQ, as well as a damn sexy body, and an active, social, fulfilling life, which truly is out of the reach of the strange genus known as Humanus Terra Balena

Fat people are disgusting. You can be fat all you want, but when I treat you like the violent eye raping plague that you are, just realize that it's your own damn fault.

Anonymous said...

"The only thing I couldn't do was climb the stupid rope.

And I got suspend from school because of that!"

Most people work to improve their condition, that's what Jack was all about - when was the last time you moderated your food intake or exercised?

Did you follow my link, about the guy with a serious 'knee problem'?

Anonymous said...

Fat people should not have support groups like this, especially when they promote pure idiocy like this.

Anonymous said...

"The only thing I couldn't do was climb the stupid rope.

And I got suspend from school because of that!"

Most people work to improve their condition, that's what Jack was all about - when was the last time you moderated your food intake or exercised?

Did you follow my link, about the guy with a serious 'knee problem'?

Anonymous said...

"The only thing I couldn't do was climb the stupid rope.

And I got suspend from school because of that!"

Most people work to improve their condition, that's what Jack was all about - when was the last time you moderated your food intake or exercised?

Did you follow my link, about the guy with a serious 'knee problem'?

Big Fat Heretic said...

Anonymous said...

Most people work to improve their condition, that's what Jack was all about - when was the last time you moderated your food intake or exercised?

Did you follow my link, about the guy with a serious 'knee problem'?
====================

When I was going to school, I was more interested on working on making good grades in my academic subjects, such as science and math.

To me, that was far more important than climbing a rope.

And, how in the flying Hell can I follow the link you posted?

It's looks all scrambled up like alphabet soup!

Try posting a space to separate each link from one another.

Anonymous said...

Aw Teddy, where did "Any-Mouse" go?

You got a little embarrassed about being socially retarded huh?

Don't worry, your blubber rolls and massive IQ make up for your wasted youth and complete lack of intelligence in matters relating to human interaction, nevermind health and well-being.

Keep on fatting, fatty.

Anonymous said...

"And, how in the flying Hell can I follow the link you posted?

It's looks all scrambled up like alphabet soup!

Try posting a space to separate each link from one another."

It's all one link, fucktard. You're obviously nowhere near as intelligent as you claim. So far you have shown:
Obesity
Average/Below Average Intelligence
Tendency to lie about your health
Blatant Stupidity

Keep it up, I'm sure there's more.

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Anonymous said...

This guy has a story about butting up against adversity, and yet unlike any and every motivational story told in human history, he is proud of the fact that instead of facing and overcoming the challenges he was faced with, he ran away and made excuses for the next 50 years.

What a failure. It's actually really sad

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Anonymous said...

Feeling insecure? Teddy Bear? you're obviously not well educated considering that you can't even copy/paste a link let alone made a legitimate argument why good health isn't important. But instead you keep making insults. So go ahead, we got all day, actually 80 more years so.

Anonymous said...

enjooy your excuses, you all know you'd love to be beautiful and sexy, no matter how much you deny it.

an Lalanewasa good man.

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Zyzz said...

errybody mirin

Anonymous said...

http://i.imgur.com/GT7pF.jpg



Shorter link for you.

Anonymous said...

Excuses, Excuses, always fucking excuses.

Big Fat Heretic said...

OK Any-mouse!

I just copied and pasted the whole shebang into my browser address bar and went to the web site.

Surprisingly it worked, because it looked like three links run together since there was 3 http's in it, so I assumed it was three links to three different websites.

My mistake. OK?

Oh, I see now!

Perhaps I should have gotten my left leg amputated and had a prosthetic one installed.

Then I could have been a cross country runner.

YEAH RIGHT!!!

I would much rather keep my own natural leg, crippled up and all, than to have it cut off and have a robotic looking one.

No thank you!

I didn't have cancer, like the guy in the photo, I only had a fucked up knee with some damaged cartilage.

So, although I couldn't run or climb ropes, my leg was OK for walking, even if I walked with a limp.

So, again, you may go fuck yourself!

OK?

Anonymous said...

"Fat Bastard said...

Ah.. the muscle heads are all jealous. We are the thinkers and they are the stinkers.

Teddy you kicked the fucking shit out of these Jack LaStrain lemmings. You were a one man flabbalanche! They didn't stand a chance.

I have to delete some of these comments but I will let most of them stand."

Oh god I can't stop laughing

Anonymous said...

It's funny that you think that fit people don't get to enjoy food. Jack Lalane probably ate just about as much as your fat ass on a day to day basis. The difference between him and you was that he used food to fuel his body, and you just overate until you became sub-human.

I hope that someday they withdraw healthcare from people that cause their own illnesses (smokers, fatties, and alcoholics) so you can all finally make the great sacrifice you so nobly claim to be willing to make for your lifestyle. That or a fat-tax. Fat-tax would be hilarious.

Anyways, enjoy never having an attractive female give you the time of day.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Fat Bastard said...

"Ah.. the muscle heads are all jealous. We are the thinkers and they are the stinkers.

Teddy you kicked the fucking shit out of these Jack LaStrain lemmings. You were a one man flabbalanche! They didn't stand a chance.

I have to delete some of these comments but I will let most of them stand."
==================

Good evening Fat Bastard:

Well, just delete the empty posts with the black bar on them.

Those are taking up too much space on this web page.

Oh! And I do have to thank Anonymous - AKA - Any-mouse for posting the following link at:

http://i.imgur.com/GT7pF.jpg

NO, not fore the unflattering photo of me with "FAT RETARD" on it, but for the link itself.

I now have an account at three different image hosting web sites.

Photo Bucket, Image Shack, and now at imgur.com

Thanks Any-mouse!!!

Also, Any-mouse was a load of laughs tonight.

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard
"We fatlings rule. That is why the Fat Haters are jealous. We eat often. Food is our God and it never lets us down. "
You're addicted. Food addiction is real, you can google it.

"You muscle headed steroid freaks grunt and sweat and you think that is fun."
It is fun.

"Eventually you will all join the ranks of the obese. Your hero Arnold Schwarzenpigger has. He even has a nice pair of man boobs. LOL!"
We'll never join your ranks because eating the right foods enables us to become greater. By the way, thats Arnold's pecs you're admiring.

"The best part of it is that many of us are too fat to work and all you fat hating leanlings are footing the bill. HA HA HA HA OINK!"
What point are you trying to make? Infact who are you even speaking to at this point? Because now it seems that you're speaking ill of the working class rather than a group of people.

You people keep calling yourselves thinkers but nothing you say makes sense.

@Teddy Bear
"Also, Any-mouse was a load of laughs tonight."
Oh i highly doubt that considering all the insults you've been giving out. By the way, jokes on you by saying you're educated when you're really in denial.

Fat Bastardo said...

The working class are so common. We fatlings are the true ruling class and you leanlings are supporting us.

You roid freaks are jealous because God like us better and the Bible proves it.

What the Bible says about Fat People

First of all, it is important to understand that God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. (He's probably overweight himself.)

All the fat is the Lord's. -- Leviticus 3:16

Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).

The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. -- Isaiah 34:6

God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat.

Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ... Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ... And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. -- Ezekiel 39:17-19

God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.)

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 13:4

God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.)

The liberal soul shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 11:25

If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.

He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25

Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.

The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat and flourishing

Anonymous said...

@Teddy Bear

Grow up already.

Anonymous said...

@Teddy Bear,

I don't understand why you're seemingly insistent on the idea that all people who tend to their fitness are lunk heads. I am an engineering student and I still take time to work out as I will need to be physically fit for my job when I graduate until I reach management.

Not all fat people are intelligent. Not all bodybuilders are stupid. Although I don't disbelieve that you are intelligent, you are incredibly deluded in needing to trust in such stereotypes so you can feel justified in your way of thinking.

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard

"you leanlings are supporting us."
no we're not, we're supporting our country, you're just taking advantage of it. that tax money is needed for much, MUCH more important things than your next meal.

"You roid freaks are jealous because God like us better and the Bible proves it."
God isnt biased. You're taking those quotes out of context so you can use them as an enabler for your laziness and addiction.

Fat Bastardo said...

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard

"you leanlings are supporting us."
no we're not, we're supporting our country, you're just taking advantage of it. that tax money is needed for much, MUCH more important things than your next meal.

"You roid freaks are jealous because God like us better and the Bible proves it."
God isnt biased. You're taking those quotes out of context so you can use them as an enabler for your laziness and addiction.

January 31, 2011 11:34 PM

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I am not taking the Bible out of context so you can stop lying stick boy.

The ruling class has always exploited the common man/morons. Gluttony and greed is what made America great. We greedy gluttons are the moral compass of America. We all have corporations and my corporation is my corpulent belly. OINK! Now scratch my back plebe and bring me some pizza.

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard,

How does it feel to know advocating violence upon those who disagree with you makes you no better than those who bully you for being the way you are?

Hoping your answer is 'Foolish, I might try some introspection before posting again'.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Anonymous said...

@Teddy Bear,

I don't understand why you're seemingly insistent on the idea that all people who tend to their fitness are lunk heads.
====================

Personal experience, Jimbo!

Well, the PE coach who had me suspended from school because I failed to climb the rope, he was a lunk head.

Why suspend a student who is passing all his other academic subject just because he can't climb a rope?

The science teacher I had in high school who was also the football coach, who didn't teach science, but instead, setting up the movie projector, and making us watch cartoons while coaching his football team, he was a lunk head.

Most of the PE coaches I had in school were lunk heads.

And the majority on the jocks in my school were lunk heads.

So, I rest my case.

Next case!!!

Fat Bastardo said...

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard,

How does it feel to know advocating violence upon those who disagree with you makes you no better than those who bully you for being the way you are?

Hoping your answer is 'Foolish, I might try some introspection before posting again'.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You fuckers came here and attacked us fatlings and gluttons. I am in no way threatening violence.

I don't get picked on. I can break you stick boys and if I can't I have my best friend Proud FA who can tear anybody's head off.

You fuckers would not pick on an angry fat grizzly like me because I fight back. It would be like fucking with a sumo wrestler. You'd get pwned! Instead you pick on gentle fatlings like Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear because you are jealous of him and his keen intellect and many talents. Just wait until he posts a morph or a cartoon of a fat Jack LaStrain eating like a pig.

You thinlings are jealous becasue we accept our premature deaths but to us and any thinking human, quality of life beats quantity any day. We eat often and that means we are happy often. EAT! Gluttony is good.

I would suggest that you read the over 120 article on this blog.

Anonymous said...

@Teddy Bear,

Wow. So because you happened to have a bad personal experience with people into physical fitness, you think that all people into that are also bad?

One gym teacher and a few jocks fucked you over. Stop acting like a victim, blaming the majority for the acts of just a few, and take responsibility for creating your own happiness.

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard

"Roy Nelson"
You do know Roy Nelson works out, right?

"I am not taking the Bible out of context so you can stop lying stick boy."
Now you're in denial. It doesn't get any more obvious than that.

"The ruling class has always exploited the common man/morons."
This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. If you truly believe this then you're really a failure. Get help.

"Gluttony and greed is what made America great."
What made America great is hard work and integrity. You don't show any, but instead you develop pride for your failure and encourage others to do the same.

@Teddy Bear
"Personal experience, Jimbo!"
EVERYONE has personal "experiences". Get over them, grow up already.

@Fat Bastard
"I am in no way threatening violence."
Tell that to Teddy Bear

"I don't get picked on."
Probably because they feel sorry for you.

"You'd get pwned!"
Thats soo 2004....

"Instead you pick on gentle fatlings like Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear because you are jealous of him and his keen intellect and many talents"
From what i can gather is that hes ashamed of himself, he still holds onto the past (fucks sake, hes a full grown man and hes bitching about high school), insulting and intolerant.

"I would suggest that you read the over 120 article on this blog."
And what would that might be? Excuses?

Fat Bastardo said...

For you fat haters. Bigger Fatter Blog is what fat acceptance should have been 40 years ago. We make no excuses.

We are gluttons like all fat people are and we are not apologists for our obesity or our gluttony.

NO EXCUSES! We are fat greedy gluttons and we love it. We fatlings are now nearly 80% of the population. We rule. Get used to it.

If you read this blog you too will see that GLUTTONY IS GOOD! SO... before you go posting more ignorant shit read this blog and you will see that we do not excuse our gluttony but instead we celebrate it. GLUTTONY IS GOOD!

Anonymous said...

@Fat Bastard
"Teddy was not just "picked on" he was brutalized and bullied by fucktards."
Sounds like an overstatement to me. In any case its all just crap anyways BECAUSE ITS IN THE PAST. Its basically nothing anymore but it still exists because Teddy Bear still chooses to remember them.

"40 years ago"
40 years ago there was no obesity. Food was a lot less artificial then and over eating wasn't much of a problem.

"greedy"
Theres that word again. Aside from words like "gluttons" and other derogatory terms you use, don't you think theres something wrong when you use the term "greedy"?

"GLUTTONY IS GOOD!"
Why is it good? Is it productive? Can it Cure or even Do anything? You say its good because you want it to be good.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Anonymous said...

@Teddy Bear,

"Stop acting like a victim, blaming the majority for the acts of just a few, and take responsibility for creating your own happiness."
====================

Earlier you had posted a URL link to an image you're hosting.

Well, check out this link!

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u25/Fat-Man-photos/Images/RGLogos-1.jpg

I thought I would return the favor, like, you know, tit for tat and all that.

When are jocks going to take responsibility for their own behavior? Eh?

For years, the jocks in our school have been bullying other students around.

And many jocks have committed rape, and got off with only a slap on the wrist.

When a professional football play does have to face a judge and a jury, the jury is often stacked with football fans, and the bastard usually gets off even though he is guilty as Hell.

The judges and the prosecutors are too chicken-shit to convict.

When are these drooling moronic monkey-boy going to start being responsible for their own behavior? Eh?

Now, it's getting late. I don't know what time it is where you're at, but hear, as I'm typing this it's almost 2:00 AM.

I'm tired, and I need to log some sack time.

So, see you later, Gator!

See ya! Wouldn't want to be ya!

Anonymous said...

It seems inconceivable that such supposedly intelligent people can be so outrageously childish and unrepentant about having such destructive habits.

Frankly, I like it. The more indignant and self-righteous you fat people get, the more you'll be mercilessly ridiculed and ostracized! Plus, we get to watch you make asses of yourselves. Hah, and we thought you were funny when all you did was jiggle!

It warms my heart to think that people like Proud Plumpette will probably die before I hit 45, scarring their progeny and not-so-subtly encouraging fitness and a healthy lifestyle to them.

P.S. I am entirely unconvinced that this isn't one healthy man or woman trolling the shit outta all the fitness enthusiasts that'll come post here in response.

Anonymous said...

Teddy bear=dat raging autism

Anonymous said...

Greed and gluttony are a sin.

Anonymous said...

Teddy bear is rainman's fatter cousin

Anonymous said...

Lol I love how they abide by the bible and forget the fact that greed and gluttony are 2 out of the 7 deadly sins.

Anonymous said...

"Ah.. the muscle heads are all jealous. We are the thinkers and they are the stinkers." -Fatbastard

>implying I don't go to university for 30 hours a week studying Chemistry, currently averaging out at a 1st class degree.

>implying I don't go to the gym after 8 hour days at university with NO breaks while having been in a lab for 3 hours also.

>implying I don't have a part time job and am actually contributing something to society unlike you tubs of fucking fat who only take away from society.

>implying Arnold isn't in better health than the majority of people.

>implying the god of the christian bible exists.

You fatties need euthanised I swear.

Anonymous said...

I'll have my BSEE this year. I've built up a hydroponic greenhouse that checks and regulates its own nutrient levels. I can do computer animations, and have built my fair share of classic cars from the bare bones out. Been around the world a few times, and have a happy family and some kids.

I also happen to lift weights. If that makes you mad, I couldn't really care less.

Teddy - There's more than one way to lose weight, and it would help improve the quality of your life in your latter years. Don't hate health lifestyles because some jock cock head insulted you 50 years ago.

Big Fat Heretic said...

I know damn well that Anonymous is not just one person, that it could mean that more then one person is posting here anonymously, and not wanting to use their real names or even bothering with a user name.

But so far, avery Anonymous person here, as been a total ass-hole.

So, as far as I'm concerned, how many of you there might be, you're all low-life scum-bags and arrogant little pipsqueaks!

So, I call you Any-mouse!

Get use to it!

Anonymous said...

But so far, avery Anonymous person here, as been a total ass-hole.

>avery
>as been

>every
>has been

So much for your high IQ huh?

Anonymous said...

welcome back Teddy Bear, i thought you were sleeping.

Big Fat Heretic said...

OK, so I made a couple of typos.

I just got up in the middle of the night to log on to my on line bank account, before posting another comment here.

So, I'm tired, and I happen to find it hard to concentrate at this late hour.

It can happen to anybody.

So, sue me!

Anonymous said...

Wtf?

Looking at Teddy's horribly low resolution pic of the NFL...

http://gyazo.com/a47de44446dbaf2a73eb307af2f4eb93.png

I understand your jelly, but why you gotta be racist brah?

Anonymous said...

>mfw trolled hard

Anonymous said...

Anon, I am so proud. You fatties ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Firstly, because you are lumping ALL fat people in with you disgusting sub-human blobs. My mom struggled with her weight most of her life, but when she saw how much I loved the gym, and how much better I felt from eating healthy, do you know what she did?

SHE STARTED TO EAT RIGHT AND WORKOUT.

She started at 5'4 290 pounds a year and a half ago. She is now down to a much healthier 160 and still going strong at the gym.

You fatties make me sick.

Anonymous said...

lets see,

im 21.
recently graduated from university with first class honours. consistently good grades throughout education.

i lift weights and keep fit. i enjoy cycling.
i love to read, star gaze and create art.

i better myself where ever possible.
because why not?
(why climb a mountain? because its there.)

obesity is not only a physical disorder, but mental.
it starts with an excuse.
ends with an early death.

enjoy justifying being 400pounds while i point out the stars to my girlfriend, make sweet love as she enjoys my body, work on my new personal best deadlifts and enjoy living in a world where nothing is out of reach.

Anonymous said...

21 year old aerospace engineer here. I work in a lab researching electrically conductive elastomeric nanocomposites. When I first met my lab partner he was 270 lbs.

I would ask him every day if he wanted to come to the gym with me. He would always make excuses. There was a lot of "lunkhead stereotyping", a repressed fear of people in better shape than him.

Well, at the start of this year, he started going to the gym with me and eating right. He lost 20lbs in a month. He can already deadlift 315 lbs. I couldn't be more proud.

The point I want to make is that you don't HAVE to be fat. With a little bit of introspection, you'll find that 20% of your lifestyle is causing 80% of your health problems.

Introspection is a hard thing to accomplish in some cases. I would suggest you read this link (not fitness related) before you defend your lifestyle so zealously.

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

(the link)

Fat Bastardo said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

21 year old aerospace engineer here. I work in a lab researching electrically conductive elastomeric nanocomposites. When I first met my lab partner he was 270 lbs.

I would ask him every day if he wanted to come to the gym with me. He would always make excuses. There was a lot of "lunkhead stereotyping", a repressed fear of people in better shape than him.

Well, at the start of this year, he started going to the gym with me and eating right. He lost 20lbs in a month. He can already deadlift 315 lbs. I couldn't be more proud.

The point I want to make is that you don't HAVE to be fat. With a little bit of introspection, you'll find that 20% of your lifestyle is causing 80% of your health problems.

Introspection is a hard thing to accomplish in some cases. I would suggest you read this link (not fitness related) before you defend your lifestyle so zealously.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

An aerospace engineer at the age of 21? ROTFLMAO! How's life on Uranus?

Your high school lab partner was 270 pound and he lost 20 pounds in a month? Big fucking deal! I can take a shit and lose 20 pounds.

I don't have to be fat? Thanks for telling me what I already knew. I like 80% of Americans today CHOOSE to be fat. You gym rats are in the minority. Thin may be in but fat is where it's at!

Another roid monkey asked why gluttony is good. There are many reasons but the main reason it that it feels good.

Gluttony and obesity is good for the economy. Currently US doctors are the highest paid in the world and the illnesses that gluttony causes are the reason that out Godly medical corporations represent 20% of our GDP. The greedy gluttony of our fatlings is part of the reason. You muscle heads will counter that it is us fatlings that are raising the cost of health care and while it may be true that we require more medical care we die sooner so over the course of our shorter but happier lives we end up costing the medical system far less than zealots like Jack LaStrain.

Gluttony is god for the economy. Sure we have the worst and most expensive health care in the industrialized world but it is not because of obesity and gluttony.

Mike Hunt said...

Hey Fat Bastard,

It would appear that we are seeing the last ditch efforts of the fat haters. Pathetic inn't it?

WOW! You and Teddy Bear have really kicked ass and taken names.

As you know I don't brag about my athletic prowess but pound for pound I am stronger than any of the fat hating gym rats that are here bashing America. That's right! They ARE bashing America because gluttony and sloth is as American as apple pie and cheese.

Anonymous said...

@Proud FA


What's your stats, brah?

(heigh, bf, deadlift, OHP, squat, bench, clean, pullups, rows, ect)

I'm curious to see how much "stronger" you are than the rest of us.

Fat Bastardo said...

Proud FA is probably 20% stronger than Ross Enamait. You posers can't even come close.

Just standing up I squat more than any of you losers.

Anonymous said...

@Fat bag of shit

LOL.
I'm sure, he looks like a 18 year old swimmer kid.
and no, that burning you're feeling when you stand up isn't your quads, glutes, hams or calves, its your bones grinding together and your tendons, ligaments and muscles about to rip.

Fat Bastardo said...

Anonymous said...

@Fat bag of shit

LOL.
I'm sure, he looks like a 18 year old swimmer kid.
and no, that burning you're feeling when you stand up isn't your quads, glutes, hams or calves, its your bones grinding together and your tendons, ligaments and muscles about to rip.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Proud FA would wreck you.

As to quads, I will have a QUADruple bypass burger from the legendary Heart Attack Grill.

Hams? I like both fresh and smoked with my favorite being a Tobin's ham or a spiral ham.

Glutes? I like glutten and I am a glutton.

Calves? Love em! There's nothing like veal.

Bones? I love boning skinny chicks.

OINK!

Anonymous said...

Fat Bastard said...

Bones? I love boning skinny chicks.

----------------------------------

Man I was just sitting here reading the comments, they are quite funny.
I wasn't about to join the conversation but this...
I just had to comment on this.
Boning skinny chicks?
I like your humorous posts but I couldn't stop laughing when I read it.
I keep imagining the person in your avatar
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_NAc1CugdZdg/SNmDAyDaZ6I/AAAAAAAAAAM/OQDpISBEXps/s1600-R/wise_fat_face.jpg
saying "oh I love banging skinny chicks" while gasping for some air.

Nevertheless, I like your trolling style.

Fat Bastardo said...

@ Anon,

The way it works is that fat guys like me are too fat to pork fat girls (Our giant bellies the in the way) so the only way we can get laid is to bone skinny chicks.

A normal sized guy like my blog partner Proud FA is often faced with the the dilemma whether bone or pork. It's much easier to pork fat girls if you are a skinny guy because fat girls are sluts and there are more of them. Proud FA is currently engaged to a skinny woman who we call Thinette and now he prefers boning to porking because skinny women don't just lay there and moan the way fat girls do.

Anonymous said...

I'll believe that he can "wreck me" (lolfag)when he posts his stats - not when some fucking planet sized manatee/human hybrid talks about things he'll never understand, let alone do.

Anonymous said...

>implying I don't know how to fight.
>lol

Ohhh you sound a little mad, shit bag. I can hear your 5 chins shaking and flapping from here.

And my comment still stands, cause I don't speak whale.
I'm waiting, Proud FA.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA:DDDDDD
Holy shit, this is awesome:D

Also, Fat Bastard threats us we are about to be wrecked by his "friend" who has the biggest dick in the world.
I was silent up to this point but its too good:D
"i tell you daddy and he will KEEL YOU!"
:DDDDDD
Thank you /fit/ and thank you strange fat based beings for the good laugh:)))
Also, there is a girl for you Fat Bastard:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Pixyteri
Just look at her.
Dude LOOK AT HER FACE:DDDD

Anonymous said...

ps:
With every imaginary friend of FAT BASTARD grows the possiblity of an epic trolling.
Still awesome:D

Fat Bastardo said...

Hey Dick Face if you scroll up you will see that Proud FA is very much for real.

If there is an epic troll going on it is the article I wrote about Jack LaStrain.When Teddy Bear creates some fat cartoons of a fat Jack LaStrain in a speedo that will go viral too.

SO far this article has gotten over 15,000 views and most of them have come from fitness forums so I am really getting under the skin of you egoistic iron pumping butt humping losers.HA HA HA

Once again another jock is pwned by FAT BASTARD!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Fat Bastard and Proud FA

Back during the years 1975 to 1978, I was going to college at NMSU, New Mexico State University in Las Cruces New Mexico.

I was majoring in Physics and Astonomy. But I never completed my degree due to financial problems, and I was under a lot of emotional stress.

It was the DVR, the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation who was covering my tuition and other expenses.

Anyway, during my first semester, I took two math courses, Algebra Review, and Geometry Review.

These were only high school level courses. I had to take these because I didn't learn shit in high school, but that was because they didn't teach shit. I had some really lousy teachers in high school, for example: my so-called science teacher who was also the school's football, and as he was too busy coaching his football team, he would just set up the movie projector and leave the classroom and we would be sitting there in the dark watching stupid cartoons. I wanted to learn science, and NOT watch stupid cartoons.

Anyway . . . . .

I passed both math courses with a B+ and then, the following semester I took a high school level course in trigonometry and also passed it with a B+ And of course, I made an A in every Astronomy course I took.

I had to take some high school level math courses to get caught up before I could take any college level courses in math. So, that set me back. I have my lousy high school to thank for that!

That was because my high school cared more about winning football games rather than education, and my high school even sucked at football!!! As if I could give a flying fuck! All I cared about was getting an education. To hell with football.

Continued below . . . . .

Big Fat Heretic said...

. . . continued from above.

Anyway, I did take one PE course in college. It was the semester I was taking mostly math courses to get caught up, so I took an easy-ass PE course so that I could concentrate more on my math and not have a lot of home work assignments as one would with, say for example: history, or psychology, or sociology. Those would come later in the next semester or so.

OK, the PE course was in weight training, (pumping iron) and that was the first and only time I had ever enjoyed taking a PE course. We had a textbook, and some academic classes, and it was like taking a course on human biology. My PE instructor was the only PE coach that I ever had who was not just some dumb-ass jock. He has some brains. I was the most scientific PE course I had ever taken, unlike all the dumb-ass PE courses in high school.

Then after class we would work out in the weight room, and we did not have to compete against one another. We were allowed to design our own individual training programs and work on self improvement, and NOT compete against anyone, but take an individualized approach to weight training. It works better that way, because we are not all alike.

I wish that ALL PE courses were like that, but unfortunately, most are NOT. Of course, there is a difference between College PE and high school PE. College PE allows for more options. It's not all sports oriented.

Anyway, because of my injured left knee, I was focusing more on exercises that would help to strengthen my left leg, and it helped. My favorite exercise was the leg press, and I got to where I could leg press 650 pounds, which was the entire stack of irons on the leg press machine. I believe that I could have done more, but 650 pounds on the leg press was the limit.

But I could only bench press 150 pounds at the most. I have more lower-body strength than upper-body strength. Most guys have more upper-body strength.

Well, I didn't lose any weight during the semester. In fact, I got a little bit heavier. Yes, I did lose 2 inches off of my waist, but I added 2 inches to my chest, 2 inches to my arms, about 4 inches to my hips and 3 inches to my thighs and 2 inches to my lower legs. I was still fat, but I became much stronger.

It's been years since I have pumped iron, but I believe I could still leg press more than 600 pounds. I do have strong legs, from carrying my weight around. Of course, now my arms are not as strong as they were back then.

But the arthritis in my knees and ankles has gotten worse over the past few years.

Back when I was pumping iron in my college PE course, I weighed 270 pounds and then my weight went up to 285 pounds by the end of the semester, even though I had lost 2 inches off my waist.

If you have the endomorphic body type as I happen to have, when exercising by pumping iron, you might not lose any weight. You might actually get heavier, but that is due to an increase in muscle mass. I still couldn't lose the fat, but I did get stronger.

The weight training did help my left knee, but then, some years later, while doing some yard work, I twisted my left knee, and fucked it up, and I've been walking with a cane ever since.

I still have a lot of strength in my legs, but I can't walk very far
before the arthritis in my knees and ankles starts acting up.

====================
Fat Bastard said...

"Proud FA is probably 20% stronger than Ross Enamait. You posers can't even come close.

Just standing up I squat more than any of you losers."
====================

This is true.

When you weigh 400 pounds as I do, then you get plenty of exercise just by carrying the weight around.

I can leg-press 650 pounds, and despite the arthritis in my knees and ankles, I could probably kick a door off it's hinges and send it flying across the room.

I would make a good DEA agent when it comes to kicking down doors with my short fat legs!

Belly Boy said...

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
I am Belly Boy
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
EATING FOOD I DO ENJOY
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
drop you attitude
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
AND GIVE ME A PLATE OF FOOD!

All you losers jocks and playas better know yo' role
Cuz I'm about to let loose, and go out of contro

You know my rhymes is so tight, you just can't compete
So just shut up, sit down, and watch me EAT!

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
YUM YUM YUM
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
EATING IS FUN
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
DO NOT EXERCISE!
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
ITS NOT GOOD FOR YOU, GUYS!

Yeah, so that will teach them. As a fat man myself, weighing over 1,300 lbs, I can tell you that there are both pros and cons. The pros are that I get to eat whatever I want whenever I want, don't have to work, get waited on 24/7, and get to play as many video games as I want. The cons are that I will probably only live a few more years, I have to deal with bed sores, it's hard to shit or move, people keep trying to train me to stand up, and I don't get to have much sex except with the male nurse.

But all in all it is not a bad life. Sure I don't contribute much, like a scientist or an engineer, but I'm all about me, baby! Us fat people don't need educations, because we are naturally smart. Dumb jocks need to go to school and get advanced degrees just to keep up with the intelligence of Teddy Bear with his GED. He reads at like a college reading level, by the way. Its better to be smart and not do anything with it than it is to be dumb yet get advanced degrees and a high paying job like you engineers. You will never know the subtle erotic joys of sloth.

BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
Fat guys rule
BOOM SHAKKA LAKKA,
Muscle heads drool!!

Big Fat Heretic said...

In response to Belly Boy:

Actually, I would have preferred if I could have finished my college education, completed my degree, and then gone on to get a job either teaching Astronomy or Physics in school, or working in the field of science.

But I was under a lot of emotional stress, and was having financial difficulties, so I couldn't complete my degree.

Of course, an Astronomy or Physics professor does not make as much money as a football coach or a professional athlete in sports.

But money is not the main object.

I would much rather be an Astronomy professor making only $100,000 dollars per year rather than being a dumb moronic football player, even if they make a few millions dollars per year.

Football is dull and boring.

HO HUM!!!

While science is more interesting and exciting, even though it doesn't pay as much as being in sports.

Yeah! Our morally corrupt society values sports more than it does science and education.

It makes me sick just thinking of it!

Big Lard Ass said...

@Teddy Bear
Getting to be a professor of astrology would take a PhD, plus college. However during your PhD studies you'd be getting paid to teach, since it is a science degree. Whereas a sociology PhD would have to pay to get the degree, an astronomy PhD would get paid to get the degree. Ka-ching!

The upper level courses are very hard, though. But anyway if it is your dream maybe you could still go and do it, it's not too late.

As for why professors don't get as much as professional football players, it is a matter of economics. The TV commercials for NFL games earn several billions of dollars per year, and that would not be possible without the players. They get paid so much because they are part of a profitable industry.

The minimum wage for NFL players is about $360,000 per season, but after a few years a good player usually gets over $1 million, depending on what position they play. On the practice squad you just get $80,000. The chances of making it to the NFL, even for a good high school player, are less than 1%. And even for those who make it, the average NFL career lasts just 2.5 years. Also they can cut you from the team and if they do, they don't have to pay you anything anymore- they can even do it if you get injured. Only the star players get guaranteed payments.

Professors who don't have tenure-track have to be adjuncts, meaning they only get paid about $2,000 per credit they teach, so they have to teach at multiple colleges and often work as waiters to make ends meet until they get a tenure-track position. Once they do, then after a few years, they get tenure. At that point you no longer have to do research papers, since they can't fire you.

So, then you just teach 6 credits (2 classes), which takes 6 hours per week. Maybe you also have 2 hours per week of office hours, but since no students usually visit, you just use the time to grade papers and stuff. Therefore, you'd only have to go to work 2 days a week, and you get about $100,000 a year to do almost no work. Since you can easily do such a job until you die, you don't have to worry about saving for retirement unless you are super lazy and 8 hours a week got to be too much work.

Of course you could still do research after getting tenure, but it would be optional. I would say that it is easier to get a job as a physics professor because more schools have physics, and only big research schools usually have astronomy as a major. Physics majors can also easily get jobs as financial engineers because of their math skills, easily earning several hundred thousand dollars per year, or even millions of dollars a year on Wall Street, working 80 hours a week.

So, the reason sports stars get paid more than teachers and professors is just market capitalism. Just like music stars get paid millions of dollars to do concerts, sports stars get paid millions of dollars to play sports in a big stadium. That's the way our world works - we value entertainment very highly in Western society, so entertainers at the top level are some of the highest paid people out there.

Unfortunately sumo wrestlers don't get paid nearly enough, which is a true shame.

Anyway, maybe you should go back and get your physics or astronomy degree.

Regards,
BLA

Fat Bastardo said...

Boom Shaakka I Like the NFL
But I hate Ben Rothlisberger and I hope they ring his bell
Boom Sakka Laka he raped a chick
I got more respect for Michael Vick

@ Teddy, Anyone can be book smart. You have real smarts but I feel as though you need to let go of the shit some of those punks and molestors did to you. Don't give them the power to hold you back. I have a therapy for you called B.A.R.K.

1 Be a bear!

2 Act like a bear!

3 React like a bear!

4. Kill something! Just kidding. Kollect your rewards!

I growl and bark a lot. I find the primal experience much better than a primal scream. I envision my bear teeth, boar tusks and bear claws shredding and tearing apart the punks and bullies of the world. I have also taken great delight watching Proud FA pummel some fat hating jock. When Proud FA rumbles it's like he's 1/2 pitbull and 1/2 wolverine.

@BLA,

Sumo is by far and a way the greatest sport ever. When I watch football and I see a team on the goal line unable to score I know damn well that a front line of sumos could bulldoze any defensive line off the ball. BTW, I played fullback in high school and they gave the title Cape Fear Bulldozer and the Dixie Steam Roller. If I had not torn up my knee I would have played college ball and gone to the pros. I actually blew my knee out throwing discus. Go figure!

Thanks guys for coming here and giving these roid freak tough guy wannabes the bum's rush.

Teddy I still would like it if you could do a fat version of Jack LaLanne and I will post on all the fitness forums with a few hard oinks!

Big Fat Heretic said...

In response to Big Lard Ass:

Sounds like you've been doing your homework.

I've been doing a Google search on the salaries on how much research scientists make as compared to professional athletes.

And I find the whole thing rather disgusting how our society values sports more than science.

It's enough to make me sick just thinking of it.

The truth is, that of all the guys who play football, only one in ten go on to play football in college, and many college football players can not even read and write beyond the second or third grade level. So they just take a bunch of easy-ass courses to get passing grades so that they can stay in college to keep playing on the football team.

And of all the college football players, only one in a hundred go on to play professional football and make millions of dollars.

So, a high school student who plays football has only one chance in a thousand of playing professional football and making millions of dollars.

Most high school and college football players end up bagging groceries or scrubbing toilets, or if they're really lucky, tend bar for the rest of their lives until they retire.

That's why, when going to school, it's better to focus on your academic subjects. Your chances of getting a decent job are much better, even if it doesn't pay as much as a career in sports.

Now, the Astronomer, Carl Sagan made a couple of million dollars after producing the 13 episode series COSMOS which appeared on the PBS Network back in 1980 or 1981. He made his money from the sale of his books COSMOS and the VCR tapes of the 13 episodes of COSMOS, and the music albums, the music of COSMOS, and I was very happy for him. It was about time an intellectual made some decent money.

But some drooling moronic monkey-boy makes that much every year, and even more, just kicking a football around.

When I was going to college at NMSU back in the 1970s from 1975 to 1978, I presonally knew Dr. Clyde Tombaugh, the Astronomer who discovered the planet Pluto back in the 1930s. He taught at NMSU but when I was there, he had retired from teaching, but I had seen him there a few times, because NMSU was his old stomping grounds. He liked to hang out there.

I don't think he ever made more then $60,000 dollars per year. He did have a half-way decent retirement pension.

But as I have said before, I would much rather be making between $60,000 to $100,000 per year, teaching in a University than making a few million dollars per year kicking a football around, and getting tackled and suffering from brain damage and living the remaining years of my life as a drooling moron. It's just not worth it.

Also, most of these jocks are just plane fucking stupid. When they're making all that money during their careers, they blow all their money on wild parties and slutty women, and when they become old broken down wrecks and can't play football anymore, they don't have jack shit and have to settle for some menial shit job because they usually lack the education to do anything else.

When I was in high school, I knew what was coming down, and because I had a crippled up left knee, then, for me, sports was not an option. I had to hit the books and study.

But, aye! There's the rub!!!

My high school didn't teach shit, because I had some really lousy teachers.

I didn't know a damn thing about algebra, geometry, or trigonometry, so I had to take some high school level math courses in college, to learn what I should have learned in high school.

So, I took Algebra Review, Geometry Review, and Trigonometry. These were high school level math courses in college, and it took me three semesters to get caught up.

It's just too fucking bad that I could not have sued my high school.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Fat Bastard:

Yeah, I'm going to see if I can do a cartoon version of a super morbidly obese apple-shaped Jack LaLanne.

I'll have him going around with a belly so big he can find shirts larger enough to cover his belly and his pants will be sliding halfway down on his butt, so the he'll be going around out in public showing off his bellybutton and butt-crack!

This evening, I'll be doing a image search on Google to find a a really good photo of Jack-off LaLanne.

We'll get our revenge!!!

Big Fat Heretic said...

Oh! By the way, I'll make him bald on top of his head and he'll have skinny legs, and his fat arms will be bigger around than his legs!

Fat Bastardo said...

Teddy, I don't fault the pro athletes all that much. I actually admire their greedy gluttony. I have a problem with the people who spend a small fortune of sports tickets. They are the ones who I think are worse than the athletes. It's the public that is paying these guys. It just shows how fucked up our society is and what it values. These asshole sports anouncers sing the praises of a rapist like Rothlisberger and a dog killer like Michael Vick. The ignore the fat guys on the line who do all the work and get pain a lot less than the pretty boys.

I can't "weight" to see the job you do on Jack LaLanne. I bet it will really frost some people's balls.

Maybe you should make some comment on YouTube and post a link to our blogs then we will have a captive audience. It will be like shooting fish in a barrel. We'll get them in a cross fire.

Do try to put the past in the past but use the anger in your crusade against funny mentalish and other slime.

Big Fat Heretic said...

Good evening Fat Bastard:

You're right, I should try to put the past behind me.

But I feel the need to talk about my past experiences because I feel the need to get the word out as to what can happen as a result of the declining quality of education in our schools, and the over-emphasis on sports and PE, especially when it's at the expense of getting a decent education, and how it can ruin one's entire life afterward.

The fact remains, that for a student playing football in high school, he has only about a one in a thousand chance of ever getting into the pros.

Therefor, a student's first priority should be to concentrate on his academic subjects, so that just in case he is unable to pursue a career in sports, he will have something more substantial to fall back on.

Otherwise, without a good education, the best he can hope for is to get some menial job at minimum wages for the rest of his life.

When a school allows the jocks to bully around the good students and does nothing about it, than our schools do a great dis-service to our children.

It's absolutely criminal!!!

That's why I feel the need to get my story out.

Along with my continuing battle against right-wing Funny-mentalist Christards trying to insert their Creationist fairy tales into science textbooks.

I subscribe to the TFN INSIDER Newsletter, the Texas Freedom Network.

I've been signing many online petitions, and I have even donated a few bucks about once every month when I can, even if it's only about $5 dollars. Every little bit helps.

The TFN has been fighting to keep politics out of the school curriculum, because our schools need to focus on education, and not cow tow to every political fringe group form the far left to the far right, and just teach the arts and sciences, to just teach science, math, and history, etc. etc. without any political bias.

Perhaps you might like to subscribe to the TFN INSIDER, Texas Freedom Network, even if you don't live in Texas, because they also help schools in other states.

Here is a link to the TFN INSIDER.

http://tfninsider.org/

Fat Bastardo said...

I am more and more thinking that K-12 is a waste of time. I had a decent school but back then teacher were competent. I think teachers are becoming obsolete. Most of them are poorly educated and apathetic.

I had a teacher tell me that there are three reasons to teach... June,July and August. The don'tgive a shit about teaching.

Those who can do. Those who can't teach and those who can't teach, teach education.

Reading score are more important that football scores.

What pised me off is that no schools have stringed instrument programs. I was a cello player. They only have a band so that they can play at the football games. You can't march with a cello or a bass violin but they could have somebody push you in a wheel chair. The problem would be rain.

Teddy put the past in the past. Keep plugging away and be part of the solution. You have probably seen my medical holocaust blog. It'd not as busy as this blog but it is a good archive for people who need facts about our broken and deadly health care system.

I think that when China hits it's stride they will be the ones who cure disease instead of exploiting it. They will be releasing a real cure for type one diabetes. They inject cells into the pancreas and it will regenerate.

At least our president is big on science but his enemies are anti-science but that's just how the funny mentalists are. ie EVIL!

The people who matter think you are OK.People who try to tear you done are meaningless. Every knock is a boost. I wear the slings and arrows thrown at me as badges of honor. You should do the same.

Unknown said...

FB:

Some states have a program for string students called Suzuki. It was an awesome thing to grow up with since I was a cellist back then, too. I was never any good at it, but that wasn't even the point. It was the mental benefits: helping kids concentrate and doing better in school. It's really sad that many states don't have the program!

Fat Bastardo said...

@ TazChick,

Stringed instruments are fat friendly. Fat kids can't or don't like marching and they get out of breath so they don't have the wind to play the wind instruments. If they have big bellies percussion instruments can be a problem. How can a fat kid with a big belly crash the symbols?

There arms may not be long enough to strike the big bass drum.

None of them can fit into a Sousaphone/tuba

They will also be too fat to play the marching snare drums and tom toms.

This is a cause for Teddy Bear to take up. Teddy has a passion for education and I would really like to get his input on this issue.

Please chime in Teddy.

Big Lard Ass said...

@Teddy Bear

You are right to say that football players should focus primarily on their academics. If you are good at playing football, it can get you a full scholarship, or a partial scholarship, and so it can basically be worth over $200,000 since private college now costs over $50,000 a year. So even if you don't make the pros, that can end up being a free college education.

It is true that the best football schools often let barely literate students in if they are the best, because the schools make millions off of their football games. However, there are many schools that pride themselves in holding true to academic standards, and they "redshirt" players who can't keep a C average, meaning they can't play.

For some kids, playing football gives them self esteem, helps them make friends, and can be an outlet away from abusive or neglectful parents. If your dad is drunk and yelling all the time, spending 3 hours a day after school playing football can be a godsend.

I myself played college football and got a full scholarship, even though I thought that I did not have what it would take to make it to the next level. Because of my large size, being 6'8", I was a right tackle, which means my job was primarily to create openings for the running back, and sometimes to protect the quarterback.

Anyway, because of my size I was considered a prospect for the NFL. I was even invited to the NFL Combine my senior year of college. (About 85% of those invited to the NFL Combine get drafted into the NFL.) During the combine, they give you many tests such as how many reps of 225 lbs you can do, a 40 yard sprint, etc, as well as the Wonderlic Test.

The Wonderlic is like an IQ test, except the score range is 0 to 50, with 10 being literate, and 20 being average. 50 is the equivalent of a 160 IQ, so basically it's 60 + 2 points per question = your IQ. I scored 46, which is the equivalent of a 152 IQ.

continued...

Big Lard Ass said...

The average NFL player scores a 20, with offensive tackles having the higest average of any position, 26. Halfbacks average just 16. In other words, Offensive tackles have IQs about 20 points higher than running backs, and are significantly smarter than average people as well.

Anyway, I ended up not having quite enough speed in the Combine, and so I didn't get drafted at all. I was one of the unlucky 15% that didn't get drafted.

One other thing, about chances of making it into the NFL- it is a lot higher if you go to certain colleges, such as USC, Notre Dame, etc. At USC, about 4 players per year go to the NFL (juniors and seniors), and the total roster has 85 scholarship players. So, out of 43 Juniors and Seniors, 4 go to the NFL annually, and you have two years of that. That's about 9%, so the chance of getting picked over 2 years is about 18%, roughly.

At other schools, there is almost a 0% chance, because nobody ever goes to the NFL from those schools. It also depends on your position. There are NFL quarterbacks from USC who never even played 1 single game in college, and they get into the NFL anyway.

Many football players go on to productive careers; I read about one of the doctors who is volunteering to screen players for brain damage was a college player, and now he is a brain doctor.

NFL quarterback Steve Young got a law degree after 15 years in the NFL, and of course there are many others who did great things after sports, such as Gerald Ford. He turned down an NFL contract to go to Yale Law School, and eventually became the President, which is a huge accomplishment even if you disagree with his decisions.

Alan Page is a Hall of Fame NFL player who got his law degree DURING his NFL years, and played for 3 years after that, and eventually became a Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court; and he is a black man who had to deal with a lot of discrimination; he was born in 1945.

So, not all football players are dumb. They run the full range from idiots to super-smart, although most of them are average, in my opinion. But anyway, it's my opinion that college sports players should devote themselves both to studying and athletics, so that they can get good jobs even if they don't get into the pros. Take the scholarship money and use it to get a head start in life, unlike most of today's college graduates who have like $100,000 in debt and no job waiting for them.

Regards,

Big Lard Ass

CG Brady said...

Hey Rev,

That's some interesting stuff. I played but never at a college level. I was too small. I did start and I played split end, defensive end and safety. I got my bell rung a lot.

Football is a very complex game. I would love to see and experimental league there thy toss out the play book and and take a fresh approach to the game. I find the idea of creating a "system" a bit boring. I like gadget plays and unusual formations. I would also like to see multi role players. You'd think that it would be a better use of personel eliminating punters and maybe other special teams players.

I love the halfback option and I think that there should be flexible offenses that make use of both running and pocket quarterbacks and use them depending on what team they are playing.

My favorite style is NY Giants smash mouth football and my favorite team was the Sims LT era.

There were some other bright football players. Jack Kemp became a senator and I hear that Harry Carson has a genius level IQ.

The players I liked were Sims for his toughness and demeanor and class, LT for his fire and athletic ability, Joe Montana for his talent and work ethic and Jerry Rice for the same reasons. Even though I hated the Cowboys I really like Emmit Smith. He was a gutsy running back.

Bigger Fatter Chick said...

Huy guys!

I M a very curvashis woman! My curve is a ROUND SHAPE! (Because I am not one of those disgusting waif anorexic girls, I am a REAL WOMAN!)

I am glad to find a place where a REAL WOMAN is appreciate, where I can b myself and kno that mens will all want to plow me, my folds, my boobs, etc. It is all good, in my neighborhood!

Muah!!

Fat Bastardo said...

Bigger Fatter Chick you have come to the right place because a HUGE percentage of our readership are guys who appreciate really fat and blubbery chicks such as yourself.

There are many skinny guys who like porking fat girls like you.

You could be Bigger Fatter Blog's eye candy along with Proud Plumpette and Rotunda Hindenberg.

@ Rev BLA,

Google Rev Big Lard Ass :-) You are in the 1 2 3 4 and 5 position on Google.

Anonymous said...

@Proud Fa
Asked for your stats and got "funny"comebacks, I can not only lift more than you , I look better and weigh less while doing it . Be mad while I'm fucking your mother and your girl

Anonymous said...

Just reading this makes me lose faith in humanity,its funny to see you people walk,even hearing you breathe like Darth Vader makes me chuckle on the inside,if being fat is so superior how come nobody can take you seriously?The only possible way for you obese,pathetic excuses to get up a floor is by an elevator,McDonalds forbid if the said elevator is broken...
The only possible way for you not to disgust others is either by walking in a plastic bubble so the stench doesnt escape or by putting a 3.5" slug in your head at point blank range.
The only possible way for you people to get laid is either a lot of money or to get someone so drugged out that they cant smell/see/feel the rolls upon rolls of whale blubber that you call your body.
Enjoy the delusion you call a life while us inferior beings will continue going to the gym,getting stronger,leaner and healthier while avoiding all the countless problems errr "advantages" you shapeless entities have.teddy and fatso,feel free to comment with your verbal diarrhea and your pointless defenses for being useless as you have for about 50 or so posts,teddy post more about how you got molested in school by jocks because you were a whiny bitch with brains (probably gave good brains too huh?) and fatso post more about how your kind is awesome and how you can "bone" skinny chicks,although im curious as to what tool they would use to find your bone...Enlighten me with your 160+ IQs and your endless knowledge of life and everything around you,meanwhile ill be doing everything i want because i've done just about everything to be in amazing shape,walking up and down stairs without needing an oxygen tank will be one of them.