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Friday, April 22, 2011

Not Everybody Should Be Fat: Wynona Judd Needs to Lose Weight

Only the jealous angry delusional old fat acceptance girls would be shocked by anyone saying anyone let alone their tragic histrionic heroine Wynona Judd should not be fat. Well I Fat Bastard said it!! It needed to be said. Let's face it, the bitch is a total fucking embarrassment to fat girls everywhere. When ever I see this bitch I cringe. She's such a fucking asshole. Sure, fat girls are histrionic drama queens but unlike fat and pounds there is a limit to how much people can take.
The bitch is simply annoying. Her fattitude lacks grace and style. Let's look at the other fat girl singers. Mama Cass Elliot had class and she was a better singer than Wynonna. Ann Wilson from Heart has class and plenty of fattitude and she too can sing better. She takes care or her voice. Then we have the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin who is fat, sassy and classy.  Now we have the best singer of our lifetimes the plump and plucky Susan Boyle and she's lovely even though she may not have as much fat or fattitude -- who cares with a voice like that. I don't care that KD Lang is a rug muncher. That muff diving Canuk can sing her ass off and she's a pleasant.

Fuck Dr Drew! This bitch needs a de fattituding. Sure, you'll say, "Fat Bastard most fat folks thrive in their obesity, diabetes, gluttony and fattitude." This is true but there is a tiny tiny tiny percentage of people who can't handle the fat. Wynonna Judd and the sick fucks at NAAFA  CAN'T HANDLE THE FAT!

With all her drug use and boozing Wynona's face would make a train take a dirt road. Personally I don't care about her personally but I do care about the effect she has on the perception the world has on other fat girls.

Wynonna, I, Fat Bastard would be the last on to say this but YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! You're making everybody sick!

Get used to it Wynonna. Your sister Ashley Judd is hot and your mother Naomi is still a MILF but you look like hell. You used to be hot. So stop hating on your mama and sister you Shania Twain wannbe and call Jenny Craig or dare I say a weight loss surgery butcher! OR go for a walk to ore than just the fridge.


Teddy Bear said...

Good evening Fat Bastard:

Well, it looks like I'm the first fat little piggy to post here under your latest article.


Yeah! I most definitely agree!

Obesity is not for everybody.


Now, we soft and weak, obese little pear-shaped sissy boys, we thrive in our obesity.

Nature has actually intended for us to become more and more obese, and to have our lower bellies (the groin area) below the waist to hang down over our shrunken penises and tiny testicles, causing us to become impotent and asexual. That is our goal.

Yeah, I know, I have often fantasize about what it must be like to be apple-shaped, having the upper belly above the waist hanging down over the front of the pants, the love-handles hanging down over the hips, a big roll of fat on the lower back protruding out further than the butt, having great big fat man-boobs or moobs, fat arms, huge belly, small butt, narrow hips, and skinny legs, and how it must be fun, being unable to find shirts large enough to completely cover the belly, and having the pants slide half-way down on the butt, and going around out in public, showing of your bellybutton and butt-crack.

Yes, I have often fantasized about that, and I'm sometimes envious of you apple-shaped obese guys.

But now, when I think about it, and the more I think about it, I should be happy and contented that I'm somewhat pear-shaped.

We pear-shaped obese little sissified Nancy-boys can become even more obese, being much heavier, and really huge!!! And the more obese we become, the more gentle, timid, docile, and sissified we become.

Of course, we have to pay a lot more for our clothing than you apple-shaped guys.

Obese apple-shaped guys wear great big shirts and small pants.

We obese pear-shaped little sissy-boys wear smaller shirts and huge fat-ass pants, and of course, great big fat-ass pants cost a Hell of a lot more than the huge tent-size shirts worn by all of you apple-shaped obese guys.

I've seen obese apple-shaped guys wearing shirts in a SIZE 12XL and smaller shorts in an XL or 2XL, and sometimes a 3XL, but seldom larger than that.

But I have seen obese pear-shape sissy boys wearing shirts only in an XL, or 2XL and sometime a 3XL while wearing pants up to a SIZE 12XL. Some pear-shaped guys even have to get tailor made pants much larger than that!!!

Yeah! We're the exact opposite of you apple-shaped guys!!!

So, it's no wonder our clothing cost more!!!

Our shirts may be much cheaper, but our great big fat-ass pants alone cost much more than, both the shirts AND pants together, worn by you obese apple-shaped guys.

And sometime our thighs get so big around we walk bull-legged.

Only if we are bald on top of our heads do we look like men. But if a pear-shaped obese male has long hair, and is clean shaven on his face, then he is often mistaken for an obese female.

That is what makes being a pear-shaped male a lot of fun! To be mistaken for an obese female!

Yeah, some obese pear-shaped men must grow a beard, or hopefully, go bald on top of the head, so as not to be mistaken for an obese woman.

Anyway, being either pear-shaped or apple-shaped has it's advantages and disadvantages.

So, if you are an apple-shaped obese male who likes to go around showing off his bellybutton and butt-crack out in public, or a pear-shaped obese male who likes to be mistaken for an obese female, well then . . .

. . . obesity is most definitely for you!

There is no other way to be, but super super super obese!

It's the only way to be!!!

Bigger Fatter Woman said...

HEY! How DARE you call my children "tar babies" Fat Bastard!?! Are you a racist?? These are modern times and you can date out side your race you know!!

Fat Bastard said...

Wynonna can't seem to shit or get off the pot. Like Oprah she's fat she's not fat, she's fat, she's not as fat, SHEEESH Wynonna make up your friggin mind. We're getting dizzy!

It's hard to tell what her body type is but I think she's what I wold call gym teacher diesel dyke. Maybe her conflict is that she is a latent lesbian like Oprah and Rosie O'Donnell. I think she needs to find herself a hot girl friend and the two of them should eat out a lot.

If she hasn't accepted here obesity by now she never will. She's going to end up like those angry whiny NAAFA girls or Carney Wilson. It's sad really.

The grass is always greener. Pears have it better. You guys can eat more and because you effectively castrate yourselves you don't have sexual frustration. We fat boys don't get laid a lot and when we do we have to pay a skinny chick.

Fat Bastard said...

Bigger Fatter Woman said...

HEY! How DARE you call my children "tar babies" Fat Bastard!?! Are you a racist?? These are modern times and you can date out side your race you know!!


Tar Babies are a candy and I am sure your babies are as sweet as you are as are chocolate babies.

Here is a picture of one.

Tar Babies are also a doll. The Tar-Baby is a doll made of tar and turpentine used to entrap Br'er Rabbit in the second of the Uncle Remus stories. The more that Br'er Rabbit fights the Tar-Baby, the more entangled he becomes. In modern usage, "tar baby" refers to any "sticky situation" that is only aggravated by additional contact. The only way to solve such a situation is by separation.

The Chef, who is a man of color can vouch for the fact that I Fat Bastard an no racist. Ghetto Boy can also vouch for my love for the brothas and my admiration on the ability of skinny Niggas to throw the dick.

Keep squirting out a rainbow of kids. Red Yellow Black Brown White they are all precious in the Belly God's sight.

Teddy Bear said...

Bigger Fatter Woman said...

"HEY! How DARE you call my children 'tar babies' Fat Bastard!?! Are you a racist?? These are modern times and you can date out side your race you know!!"

Good evening Bigger Fatter Woman:

I have known Fat Bastard for a few years now, and I can attest to the fact, that Fat Bastard is NOT a racist.

When uses uses words like "nigga" or "chocolate" or whatever, he just means it in an affectionate sort of way.

He believes that black women who are fat, have the best fatitude, far better than a lot of white women have.

Please do take the time to look at some of our earlier topics in the archives.

You'll notice a lot of pictures of some beautiful obese black babes.

As for me . . .

I like to say, chocolate is much sweeter than vanilla!

Bigger Fatter Woman said...

Okay Mr. Fat Bastard, I guess if you didn't mean it in a bad way. I know Disney stopped making the Uncle Reemis movie because of stereotypes and they said tar babies a lot.

As for before when you say I should put my kids on drugs and get disabilities so they will "cure" their childhood, I will never do that because I don't believe in anymore medications for mentalities that are all in the head and not real ones like me. I would rather be poor than have zombie kids if they don't really need it and if you wanna judge me for that go right ahead and judge. When they grow up to be skitzophrenic and bipolar then they get drugs but not unless that happens. They are doing good in school so I don't think they need drugs either.

And Teddy Bear, ok I will believe you that Fat Bastard is not racist. I am a white woman with 4 good kids, 3 of them have black fathers and 1 has a Latino father, so it is all interracial in my growing family. I do not like white men because they cause all the problems in this world and get all the money and control everything and the last thing we need is more of them so I don't date anymore white men and I never had a kid from a white man either.

I have plenty of fatattitude and I always make sure to flaunt what I got. Real women have curves and I am a real woman who is ALL curves. I love food but I am a very picky eater and have a hard time finding the right foods to eat at most restaurants and I don't cook so it can be hard sometimes on a fixed income, the child support payments and my disability money do not go far enough for my extremely active on the go life style. I guess the economy is making it tough on all of us! So I cut down and make do.

Also Fat Bastard I guess I need another c-section when I get knocked up again, but I'd really like to do the whole home birth thing if I could. My girlfriend did that although she is not as big as me and is just about 200 pounds or so.

Fat Bastard said...

Thank you Teddy and Bigger Fatter Woman.

The only thing I Fat Bastard like more than racial harmony are the harmonies of flavor that come with a good meal.

I am especially fond of Black folks and my favorite show on the Food Network is the Neelys.

I see your point about the meds and besides Ritalin will make them skinny. I think fattening kids up is still the best cure for ADHD and I suspect "Dr" Bear would concur. I think the reason kid get all hyper is because they don't have full bellies. Keep kids overfed.

You can still get an ADHD diagnoses for them and still get Ritlain for them that you can resell to people who would normally snort coke or smoke crack. Ritalin is a much better and safer high than crack.

White men, the skinny ones do cause a lot of trouble but there are exceptions. White FAs are very much like the brothas in that they appreciate plus size women. I think you would be wise to get knocked up by some rich nerdy skinny White guy so that you can ad to the rainbow.

If you search this blog you will find an article about how to get fat on the cheap. In these times fatlings need to look for deal on food and believe me there are deals out there. You can print out coupons from nearly every fast food place.