Friday, April 1, 2011

This Is What I Call FATTITUDE! Obese Ohio Man Fused to Chair With Feces and Maggots.

Fattitude cannot be measured in pounds or degrees of sloth or gluttony. It's way more complex than that. There are intangibles like the sense of entitlement that goes along with being fat and the ability to control, intimidate and manipulate the minions that enable you to be super super super morbidly obese. Then there are things that separate the leaders in fattitude form the pack. This guy is the Michael Jordon of fattitude. He's the Wayne Gretzki of gluttony. He's what feeders want to see and feedees want to be.



This is a breaking story and Bigger Fatter Blog's team of investigative reporters is searching the net frantically for more details on this exciting and inspiring story. When we find out his name, age and weight will bring that to our loyal readers.

Keep checking BIGGER FATTER BLOG your source for all things fat for updates on this breaking story and if you have any leads or tips please leave them in the comments section.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Horrifying. That's one of my worst fears.

bleedingextasy said...

name: Richard Hughes
age: 43 years
weight: 348 lbs

his girlfriend was living in the house with him and she admitted to being the one responsible for serving him food and soda.

BELLY BOY, BITCHES said...

HEY HEY HEY, IT'S FAT BELLY BOY!

This story is a cautionary tale. If you fail to clean away the feces and urine, maggots will arrive and that is bad news.

Now I know some of you might disagree, but I like to move around a little bit, so that I won't get stuck to anything again. It usually takes about 6 months to 12 months to get stuck to a chair or couch permanently, but it can happen quicker when feces and maggots are involved.

On the other hand, the maggots do provide an excellent source of protein. With the right setup, a fat man on a couch could become his own ecosystem, feeding off of the maggots that feed off of his feces, in a circle of life.

BELLY BOY, OUT
eats a fistful of maggots

Fat Bastardo said...

@ Tazchick,

Why be scared? I think this guy had a blast.

@ belldingextacy,

Thanks for the scoop but I can believe this guy was only 348 pounds. That's a mere pup. The fire rescue had to cut a hole in the wall to get him out. A 348 pounder can fit through a standard door.

@ Bell Boy,

The maggots probably kept him alive as they eat the rotting flesh. Maggots are used on infections that don't respond to antibiotics.

Ya gotta admit this Richard "Huge" Hughes had fattitude.

He probably did eat some of the maggots. Coach Gaines once fished a large tape worm out of one of his feedees and cooked it and fed it to her and she said it was the best calamari she had ever eaten.

Fat Bastardo said...

Boom Shakka Lakka got stuck to a chair.
Eatin food like a grizzly bear.
Boom Shakka Lakka have no fear.
Hand me the remote and bring me a beer.

Fat Bastard opens the newly installed garage door that has replaced his front door, revs up his turbo power chair and heads to Micky D's drive through, orders several value meals all super sized, gobbles them down, makes yummy sounds to the Belly God and feed the maggot that are eating his festering sores a big steaming dump.

Anonymous said...

Why do I feel like everybody responding positively to this is the same person, posing as multiple posters? It's just too ridiculous that multiple people think this okay.

Anonymous said...

It IS the same person.This guy is an extremely dedicated troll.

Cut him some slack though, he bumped his head.