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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Airlines and Obese Passengers: Should they pay for two seats?

I Fat Bastard will allow the video to speak for itself.

Please feel free to speak freely. This is the new fat acceptance and we allow diversity of beliefs and opinions. Rumor has it the passenger in question is Reverend Big Lard Ass.

 ATT: Slowly but surely I am reposting my articles on Posterous. Google places a warning on my blog simply because some jealous fat girls whined. Posterous has a better look especially for images. I like the Google format but I don't like the censorship even though the warning has increased the BFB audience and page views. The BFB audience is about and for fatling not porn.


BELLY BOY said...

I think that extra seats need to be provided to the bigger passengers for free.

Even if the plane is full, then they should boot a thin passenger from the flight and give his seat to the fat man who deserves it more, since he has had to go through lots of discrimination and hardship and adversity that thin people don't even understand.

Also us fat people tend to earn less than wealthy thin people, so we need the extra money more - we can't afford double seats because we have higher medical bills, and face discrimination in the job market and in the workplace. People think fat folks are lazy and it just isn't true. If you want something done ask a fat man, he has loads of energy stored up and can outwork any thin person, who just endlessly talks about how thin he is and how everything has carbs.

If it weren't for fat discrimination, I would be running a Fortune 500 company by now. I have applied for several CEO openings, and I never once got an interview even, and it is solely because of fat discrimination. I put my photograph on my resume because my mom says I'm very handsome, but all they see is the fat.

In short, I think that second and third seats need to be provided to passengers gratis, if they need them. It's not my fault I'm this size, it's SOCIETY'S FAULT. If obesity is a problem then it is a national problem, like war or tornadoes, and therefore it is the GOVERNMENT'S RESPONSIBILITY to solve this problem. For private companies to take it out on individual citizens is beyond the pale, it is ridiculous and absurd, and makes a mockery of everything we have worked for generations to build. Therefore, the government must kick in and purchase a second or third seat for any passenger who needs one, this way neither the passenger nor the airline lose out.


Blubberetta said...

I am a proud glutton, and I am ready to admit that, so it is not society's fault that I am obese. I am obese because I love eating and drinking cocktails til I'm ready to pop.

It's not society's fault we're like this...we eat and that's our own (awesome) personal choice. Belly Boy, I thought you would own up to that.

I would hate to see bigger fatter blog become like NAAFA. Let's wear our gluttony and super sized clothes with pride :))))

Camille said...

How the FUCK is the little trolley full of salty snacks and pop supposed to get to me in first class if that fat ass is blocking the aisle?!

BELLY BOY said...

Nobody is more proud of his size than me, Belly Boy.

I am morbidly obese and I am incredibly proud of setting several world records, including the record for eating the most Quadruple Bypass Burgers.

However, society is responsible for taking care of all of its members. Just like the Americans with Disabilities Act forces businesses to build ramps for the less than 1% of the population who is wheelchair-bound, at significant expense to the business, airlines in America need to take care of their obese customers by providing them with extra seats.

Think of it this way - the airlines have a profit incentive to make the seats as small as possible so that they can cram more of them in, and maximize their profits. They are making the seats smaller and smaller every year to cram more of them in, instead of taking into account the fact that the average American has increased in size compared to the 1960s.

We cannot allow businesses to take advantage of their customers like this! This is a form of a monopoly - there are only a few airlines that control most of the airplane routes, and they all set their seats so as to disadvantage a particular minority group (the 2+ seat needers), many of whom ARE DISABLED! THIS IS A BLATANT VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LAW!!

I am not resorting to NAAFA bullshit but I am responding to stick up for the RIGHTS of AMERICANS OF SIZE. Don't be a self-hating fat person. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself or they will continue to chip away at our rights until we are enslaved by the thinlings.

Boom shakka lakka, snakes on a plane
Boom shakka lakka, this is so plain
Boom shakka lakka, for me to see
Boom shakka lakka, I need seats 9-A and 9-B
Boom shakka lakka, I need 9-C too
Boom shakka lakka, mother fucker MAKE ROOM!!!

Ungh! Check checkit.
Ungh. Check that shit.
Ungh. Wipe my ass, thinling.
Ung. Yeah, you know you crave the smell.
Cause I ate a Belly Boy Burger and some Garlic Fries, and you know that always gives me the shits.

So let's stop this fat-hatin' and get on the plane, and let's not have to pay extra. Or else next they will make us pay double at the movie theaters, baseball games, football games (where seasons tickets can cost many thousands of dollars PER YEAR, PER SEAT), college sporting games, busses, trains, and then they will charge us extra for bench seats in our cars, extra to widen the doorways of our homes, etc!

We have to be STRONG and fight things immediately. Let me give you an example.

First, they said "hey we're going to make a non-smoking section" and the smokers said "oh okay" and went to the smoking section of the restaurants. Then they said "oh you can't smoke in the restaurants, smoke outside" and then they said "oh okay we'll smoke outside." Then it's "no you have to go 20 feet away too" and they said "oh okay." And now they're saying "you can't smoke in public" and soon they will ban smoking completely.

Compare this to the NRA. The government says "You can't buy armor-piercing cyanide-tipped machine gun bullets" and the NRA says "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!" Thus guns will never be banned, because the NRA will FIGHT to stop ALL anti-gun regulations, period. They won't give an inch, whereas the smokers have given away all of their rights an inch at a time. What I am saying is that us fat people cannot afford to make the same mistakes as the smokers, we have to be more like the gun people.


Fat Bastard said...

This is what I'm talking about diversity of thought and opinion. Belly Boy makes an excellent point.

Even the Bible says that fat people are ambitious. We should be treated as first class citizens and thinlings who are rapidly becoming our servants and therefore second class citizen who will be booted off planes if their seat is needed for a fat glutton.

I do think technology needs to catch up. We need Bigger Fatter Planes just like we have needed a Bigger Fatter Blog. I have long advocated that somebody do something about gravity. Gravity is the most fat phobic force in the universe.

Gluttony is a royal virtue. Louis XIV was a rather "notorious" glutton. I know that I Fat Bastard have a regal bearing as do all fat people especially when we are sitting.

@ Blubberetta,

I love your honesty and I agree. Obesity and gluttony are choices and like most people I Fat Bastard think they are good choices. NO they are great choices.

We will never become like NAAFA. We will embrace our gluttony just as we embrace our fat.

@ Camille,

Damn you are nice looking but obviously you have never been with a fat man.

There is nothing like an aisle blocker. That is why I like Walmart and their extra wide aisles. The set the bar higher. Teddy Bear and I Fat Bastard walking side by side may be able to block an aisle in Walmart but Belly Boy can already.

BELLY BOY said...

Fat Bastard is right when he says that technology needs to catch up to the American glutton.

We are still flying the same 747s that were made about a half century ago in the 1960s! It still takes 6 hours to go from NYC to LA, except it actually takes longer now because we have more security BS to go through before we can board the plane. Also, the stewardesses were much hotter back in the day, and the airlines provided excellent chow to all of the passengers.

We need the airlines to step up to the plate and instead of cramming more and more seats on each plane to maximize their profits in the short term, they need to think long term and instead realize that their seats no longer reflect the average American's size. They probably have been making smaller and smaller seats over the years to fit more in, but in reality they need to institute bench seating like the backseats of cars, and the front seats of good cars.

We gluttons are suffering a death by a thousand cuts, just like the smokers. In the 60s and 70s you could just smoke wherever you wanted to, even on airplanes and in restaurants, and if it bothered someone that was their tough luck. Then they banned smoking on all airplanes and put smoking sections in the restaurants, and the smokers said "okay."

Then they took away the smoking sections in restaurants, and said "no you have to smoke outside" and the smokers said "okay." And then they said "no you have to go outside and walk 20 feet" and they said "okay." Now they're banning smoking in all public places. Now ONE pack of cigarettes costs like $12 in New York City, because they just keep adding a dollar of tax whenever they feel like it and the smokers never stand up for themselves.

To be continued...

BELLY BOY said...

ompare this to the gun people. When politicians suggest banning military-grade machine guns for personal defense, with bullet-proof vest penetrating bullets in them, night-vision scopes, and a heat-seeking rocket launcher that can take out helicopters or air planes, the gun people go "No way you can't ban that! It's our right!" They don't really care about those ridiculous things, they care about regular rifles, shotguns, and handguns - however, they understand that if they give in an inch, then it will get the ball rolling against them and soon the government will try to take away their guns or institute a national gun registry (which most southerners see as the first step to taking away their guns.)

Southerners are willing to literally die to protect their right to have guns. Whereas smokers just give in as long as it's incremental, we will eventually make it so that parents with kids will have their kids taken away if they smoke in the house. No more smoking outside on public property either. Next they will institute a smokers' tax for the "environmental damage" of the smoke. Then another tax for the cancer risks of second hand smoke, which they claim kills 50,000 people a year but that is complete BS because nobody dies of second-hand smoke.

Us fat people have been acting like the smokers. "Sure, you can make me pay for 2 or 3 seats, and then if your flight attendant deems me to need only 1 seat I get refunded for the 1 or 2 other seats in 4 to 8 weeks." "Sure, you can boot me off of a flight that I PAID FOR IN FULL just because your flight attendant subjectively says I am too big even if have flown on the plane before at this weight without problems."

To be continued...

BELLY BOY said...

Next thing you know, they will be charging triple or quadruple for us fat people to fly. Then they will add an extra fuel surcharge because we weigh more. They've already done away with free meals. And then before long, they will simply ban all fat people from flying on airplanes and tell us to take trains and our cars instead. That's the end game scenario for them, they only want thin people flying because they are cleaner, more obedient, and they take less fuel per passenger to transport.

If we don't start fighting back, you will see the airlines institute a policy where no passenger with a BMI of over 35 will be allowed to fly in America, and by then it will be too late to do anything about it. We need to fight back now, and turn back the tide, and exact retribution, meaning free extra seats for us fat folks until the airlines start using seats that can actually fit us fat folks, who are the majority.


Belly Boy gets ejected from the airplane by a stewardess who bludgeons him with a serving cart tray screaming at him to die, while he begins to cry and moan in agony. Other fatlings look on, but choose not to help Belly Boy as he is being slowly murdered, and instead accuse Belly Boy of being a whining NAAFA member, even though he is dying for what he believes in - basic human rights for men and women of size.

After she has murdered Belly Boy in cold blood, she then drags another fatling out of the airplane and does the same thing to her. The other fatlings still refuse to come to her defense, reasoning that she must also have been a whiney NAAFA member. This keeps happening one by one until there are none left.

This is only one of many possibilities. You can help me, Belly Boy, and thereby protect yourself. I am the tip of the iceberg, so I'm who they are targeting first. Me and Kevin Smith, but it will trickle down and begin to affect more and more Americans until everyone is under the oppressive yoke of the airlines, who will make their seats designed only for anorexic 4 foot tall girls, and make everyone else pay for a half dozen or more seats, while keeping the prices the same, instead of being just and increasing the seat sizes in line with the average American's size.

The least they could do, as a stop-gap measure, would be to add some bench seats to every airplane, enough to fit at least 2 to 4 500+ lbs passengers.

Fat Bastard said...

Belly Boy,

You have said a mouthful. This is so well written and to the point that I will feature it as a full article.

I think I will call it Belly Boy of Fat Rights. This is just too important for the comments section and it needs some illustration, commentary, four part harmony and full orchestration.