Thursday, May 19, 2011

Fat Acceptance Obesity Salvation and Christianity.

The fact is most fat people live in the Bible belt and most for the most part most of them are hard core Christians. Yeah yeah yeah I can hear you all now saying, "Southerners are a bunch of dumb fucks" That may be true... well it is true but sometimes even stupid people get it right once in a while. There is no denying that when it comes to sloth and gluttony the South is the clear winner but it gets better. If we ignore things slavery, segregation, lynching, gay bashing, racism and the Ku Klux Klan hardcore Southern Christianity has one major thing going for it. It's called salvation through faith or salvation by faith. This is even a better deal than buy one Whopper and get free fries and a drink. You don't even need a lot of faith or have it for more than just a few seconds and BAM you're in heaven when you die.

When it comes to being a slacker, a scoundrel and a fuck up Hitler wins the gold medal. I think the reason he hated Jews so much was because they go through this atonement  garbage and actually pay for their sins but who has time for that. If Hitler every tried to make amends to the millions of people he killed and maimed he'd be kissing ass for the next 10 centuries. Like Hitler we fatlings don't have time for that atonement crapola or some Buddhist crap although that Muslim stuff about rivers of win and the 72 virgins that get retreaded is a pretty good deal for just killing some infidels. I'd do it!

Anyhoo, in the above video the master orator himself, Adolf Hitler, explains in very clear terms how salvation through faith worked for him and how it can work for you.

For those of you who are practicing Christians and are still feeling guilty about your gluttony, allow me Fat Bastard to put your minds at ease by sharing with you the following scripture on obesity.

First of all, it is important to understand that God really likes fat. So I suppose he likes fat people, too. 
 
(He's probably overweight himself.)
All the fat is the Lord's. -- Leviticus 3:16
 
Even God's sword is fat (and bloody).
The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness. -- Isaiah 34:6
 
God even likes fat animals. He plans to feed people to to them to make them nice and fat.
Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field ... Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth ... And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. -- Ezekiel 39:17-19
 
God makes the diligent fat. (Lazy people are always skinny.)
The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 13:4
 
God makes liberals fat, too. (I guess religious liberals should be the fattest of all.)
The liberal soul shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 11:25
http://deathby1000papercuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/michael-moore-overweight-fat-spa.jpg
Fat Boy Michael Moore!
 
 
If you put your trust in God, he will make you fat.
He that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat. -- Proverbs 28:25
 
Being fat is is sure sign of righteousnous in the eyes of God.
The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree ... they shall be fat and flourishing. -- Psalm 92:12-14
 
Sure there are verses in the Bible that call for the death of fat people but God was probably in a bad mood when he said the following and besides the best way to be a fat Christian is to be a cafeteria Christian.

Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, Proverbs 23:20

and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Proverbs 23-2 

Don't just take my word or Hitler's word for it.

Eph. 2:8-9, "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.Not by works, lest any man should boast."

EAT GUILT FREE AND DO WHAT HITLER DID! (accept for all the killing and war mongering)

7 comments:

BELLY BOY, OUT said...

OINK OINK OINK!

HITLER WAS A VEGETARIAN! OINK OINK OINK OINK!!!

HE WAS A FALSE GLUTTON! He was very skinny, and did not care much for worldly things like food or womanizing. As the leader of Nazi Germany he could've banged his way through all the hot German girls, but instead he just was with Ms. Braun. If Hitler had been French, he would have banged at least 472,591 women. Also Hitler disdained beer and alcohol in general, as well as smoking.

This goes against the Belly Boy Code.

The Belly Boy Code requires that everyone smoke at least 1 pack of cigarettes every day, that you down at least 1 bottle of liquor every week, and that you eat at least 20 pounds of meat every month.

The Intermediate Belly Boy Code doubles those requirements.

The Advanced Belly Boy Code quadruples them.

I myself am an incredible glutton, who loves cigarettes, alcohol, and meat. These three things form the cornerstone of happiness. Every TRUE GLUTTON accepts and understands that the only way a human being can be happy is for them to be hyper morbidly obese.

Everyone who dies, dies because they are TOO THIN. If you attain enough fatness, you will attain eternal life. If you smoke enough cigarettes, then surely the protective layer of tar on your lungs will immunize you from lung cancer. If you eat enough sugar and NEVER BRUSH YOUR TEETH then you will not get tooth decay.

I know there is normally mostly Christian bashing on this website, which is one of the main themes of the website, along with gluttony (oink oink oink!) but I have to say that the only religion that truly "gets" gluttony is not Christianity, but Faedari.

I'm sorry, but I'm a Faedarian to the core. As Faedarians, we reject the bashing of other faiths. We welcome Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Protestants, Hindus, Buddhists, Scientologists, Cheeseheads, Boston Red Sox Fans, Zostarians, and other faiths as human beings worthy of their place in the land of the Faedari. It's very important religious stuff.

As the fattest member of the Church of the Faedari, I would love to share with you some of my information, however, it is currently time for me to orgasm into the shower drain, as I have just finished a large meal of several heaping plates of Kuku Paka and rice.

OINK OINK OINK!

I LOVE TO EAT

OINK OINK OINK!

yeah it's the bigger fatter blog you dawgs just must understand
that it's this bigger fatter blog that makes everything in this land
seem like it's fair and just and cool you must
just eat what you can
cuz it's a dog eat dog world and dawg, you come when you can
that's right! you gotta bang them chicks and bang them dudes right into their folds
you gots to drink that liquor pound those beers and down every shot

Y'ALL HEARD?

UNGH!
CHECK IT!
UNGH!
CHECK IT AGAIN!
UNGH!
YEAH, CHECK MY BLOOD SUGAR...
BITCH!

BELLY BOY, OUT

YEAH, I'M ALL UP IN AFRICA, Y'HEARD!? I'M DOING THIS SHIT FOR REAL NOW, DAWGS! I'M DOING IT UP SOUTH PHILLY STYLE, SO GIMMIE A CHEESESTEAK! RIGHT NOW!

God is Evil said...

i was thinking, and i have realized something. god is evil. satan is the good guy. think about it.

1. god will send you to hell if you dont believe in him and do what he says, just like....HITLER!
2. god forbids you from doing things "because he says so", just like....HITLER!
3. if you do stuff that god doesn't like (like be gay), he will smite you just like....HITLER!

conclusion: god is a dictator

but satan:
he wants you to do whatever you want. remember eve? she was hungry and wanted to eat an apple. satan let her do it. what did god do? kick her out of heaven.

how many people has god killed? lets take a look:

right here
http://www.exminister.org/Wells-how-many…

wow! 33 million people?! and that is just what he ADMITS to doing! who knows, the actual number could be MUCH higher!

thats right people. god is a murdering dictator. are we even sure he created the universe? that could just be a big lie? maybe satan created the universe and god just took credit! is satan really the evil guy? or is satan the resistance against the dictator? i know these are not easy questions, but consider them carefully.

Anonymous said...

God was the evil one right from the beginning when he apparently created "The World in which we Live" (song by Infinite Darkness). Also, if Satan really were evil, why did god create him in he first place? I think the creater of god (whatever that must be) must be the supreme evil figure for creating such an evil thing.

BELLY BOY said...

Hey everybody, Belly Boy here.

I believe in God. I'm a good person, and I reject Satan, Satin, as well as guys named Stan, and countries whose names end in 'stan.

BELLY BOY, OUT

God is a Pedophile said...

I love how some of you people think. Brilliant. and your right. If god does exist he is defiantly evil for sure. But keep in mind that god is just a character for humans to fill an empty void cuz they cant handle the fact that we are on our own.

BELLY BOY said...

WE ARE NOT ON OUR OWN!!

Whether or not God is real, Beligod is real. Beligod is who Faedarians worship. The uninformed call him "Belly God" but his proper name is Beligod. He exists in each of us, inside of our stomachs, telling us to eat.

He also tells us to EAT. And to EAT, EAT EAT!

If you answer the call of Beligod, you will reach the state of obesity and only then will you have the possibility of reaching the state of morbid obesity, then on to hyper morbid obesity, then on to super morbid obesity, then on to mega morbid obesity, then on to circus freak morbid obesity, then on to Oprah morbid obesity, and then on to BELLY BOY OBESITY!

You guys need to gain some weight in order to gain some perspective on these matters. I suggest that you eat some food and eatitate on this matter.

Eatitation is very important to eatlightenment.

BELLY BOY, OUT

Fat Bastardo said...

Belly Boy.

You left a comment but it want to spam. I tried to publish it and it dissapeared. Sorry my fat friend.